4.14.2017

Dreamcasting #Xena

So I'm on one of my Xena kicks, and while combing through some of my old posts, I came across a dreamcast I did for Joss Whedon's Firefly.  After all these years, it finally occurred to me to do one for Xena.

Now, Lucy Lawless herself said she was down for a reboot and cheered on the idea of a Black Xena.  I disagree (I know, weird...right?).  By all means, keep Xena a butch, dark-haired White woman.  Make Gabrielle the petite, feminine, dark-skinned Black woman.  Doing so kills two birds with one stone.

Alicia Napoleon as "Xena"
As far as I'm concerned, she should've been Wonder Woman.  I really respected what Napoleon recently said in an interview with Allure that it's not a man's body; it could never be a man's body because it's a woman's body...it just happens to also be strong.  Never forget that the most offensive thing a woman can ever do is to actually be strong (just ask Serena Williams).

Ashleigh Murray as "Gabrielle"
Murray has this perky, bubbly, fun vibe I've adored since I saw her in Deidra and Laney Rob a Train.  And though she was playing a teen in that film, she's actually almost thirty.  Puts me in mind of another sorceress actress.  She'd be great as the chatty, whimsical companion of the Warrior Princess.  And I'd love to see Murray's take on "accidentally" becoming an Amazon Princess.

Dascha Polanco as "Aphrodite"
I like the idea of a buxom, bodacious goddess of love...you know, like all the statues?  I also liked how Aphrodite was an occasional ally of Xena and Gabrielle's; it was kinda random.  I would prefer if she wasn't a ditz this time around though.

Kaliesha West as "Callisto"
If you're gonna get a real-life fighter to play Xena, better get a real-life fighter to play her arch-nemesis (well, one of 'em).

Laverne Cox as "Alti"
Speaking of arch-nemeses, Cox is known for her throaty, husky voice and looking flawless in dark eye makeup.  She'd be a perfect incarnation of the sardonic, leather-clad shamaness Alti.

Alexis Brown as "Discord"
Why not?  We didn't get to see much of Discord on Xena, but I'm sure with a metalhead in the role we could give her more opportunities to shine.  It would also be nice to feature Discord rather than Ares this time around.

Karin Anna Cheung as "Athena"
Fans will remember her from Better Luck Tomorrow.  We didn't get to see much of Athena on Xena either, which was odd because she was the god Xena respected most.  That would definitely need to be amended this time around.

Fallon Bowman as "Artemis"
As the patron goddess of the Amazons, Artemis is another deity who should've been featured a lot on Xena but barely showed.  Bowman would bring a cool, level-headed air to the character.

Tiffany Hines as "Nemesis"
Nemesis never actually appeared on Xena, so I think she'd be a great addition as Hera's bow-and-arrow-wielding enforcer.  I would write her as super snarky, so Hines would be perfect role.

...and Melinda Clarke as "Hera"
I've never before had to explain why Melinda Clarke should be in anything.  I won't start now.

4 comments:

  1. Xena was my show back in the day along with Buffy. Why? Because girls/women got to kick butt.

    I really don't care for a reboot though. I mean its ALLLLLLL anyone does anymore. Take an old show/movie and slap new people in it. I will give it a chance, but for once can no one come up with something new. All the history in the world and no one cn craft a new story.

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  2. " Far as I'm concerned, she should've been Wonder Woman ".

    Agreed.

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  3. Can't believe Murray is almost 30! I saw the rob a train movie and I laughed but I thought it was weird they paired her with a white guy who looked way too old. would of thought she was in her teens. I barely remember Xena, but I like the cast make up. glad to find you again.

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