'Cause we feel you, girl.
Seriously...while there has been the predictable backlash of ridicule, I'm impressed by the supportive healing attitude many women have demonstrated towards Lil Kim.
Because I get it. People of color - in general - are expected to be "strong", capable of withstanding endless abuse and torment because we're supposedly "designed" to take it. It's bullshit, of course, but I think some of us buy into it, to an extent. And those of us who do buy into that garbage feel let down when women like Lil Kim give into the pressures of a Eurocentric aesthetic.
The woman is human, folks. And as humans, we can only take so much.
I'm lucky. I'll admit that. I'm lucky because I am mouthy and opinionated and I give zero dambs. If someone ridiculed my appearance, I would immediately demand to know who gave them permission to exist. I know my worth. I know what matters to me and what makes me happy. I am a diva. My father once told me during childhood to never sacrifice my psychic well-being for another person, and so I never did.
I'm not saying this for praise. Like I said, I'm lucky.
Not everybody's so lucky. When you're a Black woman living in this world, life can be like a steady stream of abuse - abuse from our relatives, abuse from our "friends", abuse from professors and fellow students, abuse from significant others, abuse from employers and coworkers - the list goes on and on. Quite frankly, after looking over my life at the things I've experienced, I'm thoroughly convinced that when it comes to abusing Black women, there's no shortage of volunteers.
So in the face of that, some of us will remain strong...battered and bruised, but still resilient. However, many of us - if not most - will succumb to that abuse at some point in our lives. How can we not? From the moment we step out our door, there's a long line of vile haters waiting to pile their shit on us. And this is true for Black women on pretty much every inch of this earth.
So pull up a bar stool, Ms. Kim. You have no haters here. I can't change the past for any of us, but together, I think we can do a thing or two about the future.