Birthday Present to Me: Your Best #ThisRoomIsSoWhite Joke

So blogger Awesomely Luvvie believes that Chris Rock should not only go ahead with hosting the Oscars this year, but he "should make so many 'this room is so white' jokes that everyone in the room is uncomfortable, shifting in their seats and chuckling nervously all night." She even started him off with a few:
This Oscars is so white, I need an Instagram filter to look at this audience without squinting. We need to hit this place with a Hefe filter or something.”

Dang. This room is so white, the wifi password is “PRIVILEGE.” All caps.

If this room got any whiter, no one would need to use flash photography tonight.

This room is so white that I want to ski through the aisles. So much snow.

This room is so white that it is has one Black friend. That’s me.”

This room is so white that *insert known addict here* would like to snort it.

This room is so white they told me not to touch anything.

This room is so white, that Donald Trump doesn’t want to deport it.

This room is so white, the cops you see are actually here to serve and protect.
So as a birthday present to Moi, I'd like for my dear Bar Patrons to raise their glasses and properly ring in 2016 with their best "This Room is So White" joke.

*blinks eagerly* You may begin.

Comments

  1. I don't have a joke, but this is sooo wrong! * laughing away at the jokes*

    ReplyDelete
  2. Just a few:
    This room is so white, I was invited to check-in at the ‘Back entrance.
    This room is so white, they have separate bathrooms, one for Nominated, and the other for ‘non-nominated.’
    This room is so white, I was seated in the balcony, "A distinction afforded only to those of ‘Exceptional Hue,” or so I was told.
    This room is so white, all of the presenters were noted People of Color
    This room is so white, I was asked to check my weapons at the door.
    This room is so white, Charlotte Rampling took home the Oscar for ‘Best Embittered White Woman’.
    This room is so white, It will forever be known as ‘The hippest trip in America’
    This room is so white, no black person under 18 was admitted without a white sponsor or guardian.
    This room is so white, People of color are obliged to correctly spell ‘Oscar’ before they’re allowed in.
    This room is so white, People of color must show three forms of ID at the door. And no-, that does not include a utility bill in your mother’s name.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Daaaaaaaamn!!!

      How long you been sittin' on those???

      Delete
    2. This room is so white, People of color must show three forms of ID at the door. And no-, that does not include a utility bill in your mother’s name.

      Lol!

      Delete
    3. Incidentally...
      God bless you and Happy Birthday!!

      Delete
  3. "Daaaaaaaamn!!!
    How long you been sittin' on those???"

    Oh mercy, it only took a few minutes tops.
    Really...

    ReplyDelete
  4. Happy Birthday!

    ReplyDelete
  5. I can't be clever enough to come up with a joke, but I will wish you a very Happy Birthday.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Thanks for the birthday wishes, y'all!

    And I know, right? It's harder than it looks. I don't know how M. Gibson just rattled them off.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "...And I know, right? It's harder than it looks. I don't know how M. Gibson just rattled them off."

      Quick-witted people like Robin Williams or Johnathan Winters (and other humorists) tend to follow a kind of Occam’s Razor. In that the simplest answer (first response) tends to be the best one. Hence, the first thing you think of is usually funnier than if you labored over it. In light of this, I offer up a few more.

      This room is so white, it looks like a Lord of the Rings casting call.

      This room is so white, I mistook it for a town hall meeting in the film, Pleasantville.

      This room is so white, the ‘Colored cast from the acclaimed motion picture ‘The Help’ were honored with the task of serving refreshments.

      This room is so white, blue-eyed people sat arm-in-arm with green-eyed people: blondes with brunettes in a stunning display of diversity.

      This room is so white, Lena Dunham’s pinkish, pale… tattooed rind, mesmerized the crowd on the red carpet tonight.

      This room is so white, Taylor Swift gave a stirring rendition of ‘Gangsta Gangsta’ from the Straight Outta Compton soundtrack.

      Delete
  7. Oops, one more:
    This room is so white, a sign posted at the entrance: “No shoes, No shirt- No entrance” applies only to people of color.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Lemme try.

    This room is so white...I couldn't get in 'cause I only had three-fifths of an invitation.

    *blinks*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. OMG!

      You guys are so crazy. I've never laughed so hard in my life.

      Delete
  9. "...This room is so white...I couldn't get in 'cause I only had three-fifths of an invitation."


    LOL!
    Now I like that! I laughed immediately, very good dearest. Considering your capacity for word and thought, I knew you had it in you. :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. *blushes*

      Thanks, boo. I was afraid mine was a bit of a mouthful.

      Delete
  10. Well Chris screwed that up.

    ReplyDelete

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