7.27.2014

With love, from a fan

Black women...we're just damned if we do and damned if we don't.

In addition to maintaining several blogs, I also have a YouTube Channel (in case anyone was not knowing).  A couple of years back, I posted the love scene from a very powerful independent film, La Mission (2009), starring Erika Alexander and Benjamin Bratt.  In my humble opinion, it's one of the most tasteful, respectful, evocative scenes I've ever seen.



The film deals with a lot of deep themes, namely Latinos reconnecting with their indigenous heritage (and thereby directly addressing their use of Spanish as a result of colonialism), a Latino father coming to terms with his son's homosexuality, and a Black woman overcoming the trauma of an abusive, prior relationship. It's a beautiful, moving film which portrays brown people well overall and ends well.   So naturally, either folks don't know about it or...it attracts "fans."

Click image to enlarge

I've since deleted the comment, of course. Ain't nobody got time for that.

29 comments:

  1. Leo Princess7/27/14, 5:16 PM

    Chances are this 'fan' is one of those that saw nothing at all wrong with the NWA casting call.

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  2. I wonder if he feels the same way about black men that sleep with white women?

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    1. Of course not! He doesn't like it that his backups might move to other pastures.

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    2. Also, people like "Fred Flinstone" are pathetic, if he hates it black women sleeping with white men so much, why is he watching a clip of a love scene between and black woman and white man?
      Ps. I couldn't see the clip, it didn't come up on my browser, but I wouldn't be surprised if the "white guy" she sleeping with is actually a Latino guy.

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    3. Benjamin Bratt is Latino. That is besides the case though. This moron felt the need to dictate who black women are allowed to be with.

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    4. Well, Latino isn't a race and they can be white, black, Asian, indigenous, or some combination.
      At any rate, Benjamin Bratt isn't a WHITE Latino (like say Andy Garcia or Cameron Diaz or Christina Aguilera) b/c he mom is Quecha (or some other Indigenous South American) and his dad is a white dude. He turned out deliciously brown anyway though. And tall.

      But black men have no criticism about Kanye West or Taye Diggs, Michael Ealey, Chwetiel Ejiofor, Harold Perrineau, and the 50-11 other male celebrities who will only be seen with white women on their arms. They get so mad about Scandal, a dang TV show, the same way they are angry about this, but have no problem when a dark-skinned black man will act like some white chick is the epitome of womanhood and beauty.
      Very few BM speak up about that.

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    5. Oh they speak out to let black women know that we are hating on those men because they are with white women.

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    6. @Nicthommi "But black men have no criticism about Kanye West or Taye Diggs, Michael Ealey, Chwetiel Ejiofor, Harold Perrineau, and the 50-11 other male celebrities who will only be seen with white women on their arms."

      OKAY!! I've seen this hypocrisy in action. At the mall I watched as a Black man with a white woman on his arm and children in tow rolled his eyes as a black woman walked by them with an Asian guy.

      I can't say all because I know some very nice BM in IRs. But I will say many ... many BM in IR feel as if they've one up'd Black women. They think BW have no other options besides BM. So when they see BW in IRs their whole world view is crushed.

      More and more Black women are dating and marrying interracial in my area and seeing the reaction of BM (men of all races really) has been eye opening to say the least.

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  3. If "Fred" wants to throw up over this clip, let him.

    Anyways..I must ask the same questions that Leo Princess and Rose Z ask about him. Would he go crazy if it was a Black man/sleeping with a White woman? I think not. I was looking at some of those comments about the NWA biopic ( which I will not be supporting) . While there we some Black men who was appalled about the casting and some of them just didn't care (along with other races of men)about our feelings .along with other races of men. Now how do Fred think Black women feel about that disrespect?

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  4. The moment I saw the title of this post, I knew it was about a troll's comment. lol

    Fred Flintstone must really be upset judging by the way his comment is in caps. But the comment alone seems to be hatefully directed at both black people AND white people, unless I read it wrong.

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  5. Never heard of this. Maxine Shaw attorney at law. I will definitely be checking for this. I love Benjamin Bratt.

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    1. The show is called Living Single. And it was everything. Maxine was the name of Erika Alexander's character. Thanks to Google you'd probably get there but thought I'd point that out since you are clearly unfamiliar with the show.

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  6. Fred Flintstone is a bonehead. SMH. I want to see this movie.

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  7. Very beautiful and tender.

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  8. Let's be fair here though it's not like black women don't complain about IR relationships either. Both sides need to back off because someone chooses to step outside their race for love.

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    1. True, true; however...black female complaints toward interracial relationships have been discussed to death.

      Yet the vitriol towards black women actually in interracial relationships isn't discussed nearly enough (in my opinion). In fact, there seems to be some sort of denial that it's even happening.

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    2. Why do you think that is? And why does it need to be discussed? I believe its in denial because that means the cash cows (black women) are leaving the coop. They are taking their money with them and the Jacksons and Sharptons rely on that money. I think a lot of BWE sites discuss it to death. Honestly, I do not see the reason to discuss it.

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    3. Why do you think that is? And why does it need to be discussed?

      Again, these are just my opinions, but the denial stems from people - mainly black men - that black women do, in fact, date interracially in the first place. That non-black men and women find us desirable. That the trend is growing. There's still strong resistance on all sides concerning this, and until people stop being "surprised" (I don't care whether they actually approve or not) at a black woman on non-black person's arm, then we'll know the discussion is no longer needed.

      I believe its in denial because that means the cash cows (black women) are leaving the coop.

      As the saying goes, everyone hates a black woman...until they need one.

      I think a lot of BWE sites discuss it to death.

      But BWE sites carry a bit of a rep and are often avoided. Furthermore, they tend to zero in on BWWM, which is merely a fraction of the discussion.

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    4. As the saying goes, everyone hates a black woman...until they need one.

      Amen to that!

      There's still strong resistance on all sides concerning this, and until people stop being "surprised" (I don't care whether they actually approve or not) at a black woman on non-black person's arm, then we'll know the discussion is no longer needed.

      This is what gets me. Its perfectly acceptable to see any race of woman on a bm's arm, but holy cow someone other than a black man wants to date/marry a black woman! A few months ago I went to visit my sister in my hometown. We went out to eat and as we were walking up to the restaurant a AM/BW couple walked out. Now my hometown has just gotten to the point there is a large number of Latinos, but there still isn't a lot of Asians. Not like out in Cali anyway. The looks they got from the whites to the bm/ww couple was amazing. It was like they had seen bigfoot walking out of the restaurant.

      Furthermore, they tend to zero in on BWWM, which is merely a fraction of the discussion.

      Most of them ONLY zero in on it. I understand that you will focus on who you are dating, but to poop poop anyone else. I discussed this recently with someone and she mentioned that its harder with other races because they have closer ties to family and pressure from family. And that everyone else wants to whiten up their family so black women are just better off focusing on white men. I realized at that point there was no reasoning with this person.

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    5. " but the denial stems from people - mainly black men - that black women do, in fact, date interracially in the first place. That non-black men and women find us desirable. "

      This is another thing that gets on my nerves, with any other race of woman in an interracial relationship people believe it was the man who pursued them but when a black woman is with a man of another race people try and make it out that we pursued the man instead of the man simply being attracted to and pursuing us just like they would do with any other woman.

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    6. I know they act amazed.

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    7. I would say it is true that most groups are more open to "interracial" pairings with white people. But that's by design on a societal level. Especially when it comes to non-black Latinos. The concept of "mejorando la raza" comes to mind. That generally means it is better to whiten the family or at the very least not pair with someone black. But that is no reason to restrict yourself to white guys. I generally avoid white guys as a rule personally. I'm pro-men of color.

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    8. Oh I won't deny that most people prefer white. I understand that everyone has a preference of who they are attracted to. Its natural. I have dated a spectrum of races, but never because of that. It normally was because of the person not their color.

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    9. If the person in question insist that you should restrict your options to only White men, I will disagree with that assessment.

      If a White or non Black men don't to fool with you..fine,but some of these same guys also like Black women too and if it is meant for a woman to have that man it will happen. White men are no approachable to Black women than other races. There are some White men who will not introduce you to their parents as supposedly other races of men and/or defend you against their parents.

      Far as Latino men..maybe it'a just me..but out of all of White and non-Black men, in comparison to them, they..Latino men ..will approach you more and /or whether they approve/disapprove of their Black girlfriends/wives, will introduce you their parents a little more than a White man. Several of my friends had Latino spouses and many of the men told and introduced them to their parents. A couple approved, some others did not but still they did it. I'm not saying that all of them will introduce you to their folks,but they seem a little less apprehensive about doing it.

      I, too , never had a problem being approached by Latino men.. whether they being from Mexico, Honduras , Cuba etc.. I never and if I was in the mood to date, I wouldn't have a problem dating one. I had very few White men to do the same with me.

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    10. If the person in question insist that you should restrict your options to only White men, I will disagree with that assessment.

      Oh that is exactly what she suggested. She didn't say date only White men, but that its easier because they do not have the pressures of other non-Black men such as family and culture. Now I know that other cultures are a lot closer to their families and family has a much bigger say so in each others lives. Religion can play a role in a relationship with someone, but those same things can affect you when dating White men. She made it sound like wm would forsake their family for you which I KNOW isn't the case all the time.

      I too have noticed that Latino men will approach you more.

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    11. I think that it's a bit weird that you'd say that white men (or white people in general) don't have as much pressure to NOT date interracially. I mean, last time I looked at the census (for black people) it showed that about 8-10% of the men who got married, got married to white/or non-black (can't remember atm) people, and about half for the women. This is just a statistic of those who get married, it doesn't count people who are cohabiting or are just dating.

      I will say this though, it's not in the interest of the system of white supremacy to date IR en masse. That's why they invented the one-drop rule, so they didn't have to pass off their inheritance to "colored" offspring. You never really see high-status white women marrying black men (unless the man is of a higher status than the woman) . The thought of someone like Maria Shriver marrying a black man is "preposterous", it just wouldn't happen. Insecure black men (of some relative status, like taye diggs etc) are more than happy to wed non-black women who are basically nobodies, which is "amusing" .

      I know I'm being a bit anal about this, but Latino doesn't refer to any special phenotypical trait. A black man in Brazil IS a latino. What's popularly referred to as "latino" today is a hybrid of European & Amerindian descent; Mestizo's .

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  9. No one in mainstream media ever address the racism of white women when it comes to Black women in IRs. Many bigoted white women feel entitled to make snide, racist comments toward Black women in IR and I'm not just talking about BW/WM combo. They also hate Black women with non Black MOC. They felt entitled to MOC/BM as well. I well know the racist hostility they show to other WOC, particularly Asian women with Black or white men. And yet, it gets thrown back to us Black women as the bad girls who hate IR. If anything, it's white America that hates IR and the browning/tanning of America.

    S. B.

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    Replies
    1. Leo Princess8/12/14, 10:48 PM

      Ankh, didn't you get such a message from another 'fan' on the Unbowed video? Also, I noticed I couldn't find a single WW/AM video until the BW/AM ones grew and picked up steam. But...*sips tea*.

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