11.22.2013

Storytime: The Moms versus AFLAC

Some of you know that instead of being laid off, I actually got a hefty promotion to Claims Pygmy at the insurance company where I work.  So tonight, the Moms and I are talking to our houseguest, a fellow Cameroonian, about what it means to live in America the Broke Beautiful.  I started talking about auto claims and worker's comp, and then the Moms took over with a tale of calls from AFLAC.

Before I continue, I'd like to remind Bar Patrons that the Moms has a very thick accent.

Apparently some AFLAC rep's been calling the Moms and taking up voicemail space.  So the night, during her shift as a nurse, I guess the Moms got bored and decided to finally answer one of his calls.

AFLAC Rep: Moms!  I've been trying so hard to reach you!  I've left all sorts of messages.  I just wanted to remind you about open enrollment, and how with AFLAC, you continue to collect wages if you are unable to work, and [insert other AFLAC benefits here].

Moms: (after listening patiently) Actually, when I was ignoring your calls, I was being polite.  I have already told them, "No."  I want NO insurance through the company.  (pause)  And I am waiting for Obamacare.

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