The Ally's Burden
A Twitter encounter yesterday got me thinking about how most white women I encounter somehow demand that I be of service to them — and how this assumed privilege leads to the inherent mistrust black women have of white women.Here's the thing: I've never dug about the so-called "Alliance" and the so-called "Allies", because their "allegiance" always comes with a price. They want your love, they want to call you "nigga", they want you to be their racial insurance - they always want something in return for simply masquerading as a decent human being. I've said this before and I will said again and again: most white people are not part of the solution, and when I say "most" I'm generously referring to a good 95% - 99%. They are not necessary for the liberation of POC, they are not the path, the means, nor a prerequisite of any kind. They are the very thing that's in the way.
Essentially, a white woman responded to a status I retweeted 3 weeks ago, and demanded to know how I felt about black people teaching white people how to twerk.
I retweeted a photo from someone else who took a screen shot of a magazine clipping that gave steps on how to twerk. This woman asked me how I felt, and I simply refused to engage with her (as a matter of mental wellbeing, I have a policy of not engaging with people who respond to tweets that are weeks, if not days, old; most people who do this are trolling for content and/or are trying to catch you in some sort of contradictory statement). I referred to her as a troll (I mean, who else responds to a tweet that’s 3 weeks old) and blocked her.
That didn’t stop this person from unleashing a rash of tweets railing against me and throwing a tantrum because I refused to deal with her foolishness. She actually made a series of tweets that revealed her true colors:
...All this got me thinking about privilege-denying, white supremacist-backing white women, and the tyranny they can cause when they don’t get their way. These women are like to have it both ways: sit upon their pedestal and look down with resentment upon people of color and, when it suits them, jump off their pedestal and claim that if we dismantle sexism, other forms of oppression will crumble. These same women will decry the persistence of sexism/misogyny/misogynoir, but deny they are complicit in white supremacist imperialist capitalist patriarchy that oppress people of color on a totally different level they can comprehend.
~ New Black Woman, "Black women don't owe you shit"
That's why I have blogs like "The Black Girls Club" and "The Blasian Narrative", and even our dear Bar where the goal is not to obtain white support but to expose new ideas to POC so that we can educate and liberate our damn selves. To me, counting and relying on white allies is a lot like waiting for someone who owes you a shit-ton of money from the last several years to show up at the last minute and pay your rent. Yeah, um...good luck with that.
NBW's experience right here is a classic example of why I don't bother going out of my way just to get some white allies; hell, all my own damn skinfolk ain't exactly kinfolk, so why bother? I don't even believe in the concept of "allies" - I believe you are either a decent human being or you are not. You either do the right thing or you don't, and you don't look for some sort of social compensation/validation in the process.
Now, if y'all don't mind, we need to get back to our regularly scheduled programming.
*sips pink champagne*
The Sugar Cycle