It's Not the Same Damn Thing

Don’t you wish Barack Obama could be as free as Michelle Obama when talking to people in public? Yesterday, she took down a lesbian protester from the group GetEqual while speaking at a private democratic fundraiser that cost $500-$10,000 to attend. You can read it here. The self identified lesbian protestor started yelling about the need for the President to sign an executive order so she can have her ”federal equality” before she dies.

Well, whoopee fuckin’ deal. Bitch I been wanting all my life to be equal in my country of birth, get in line. Yelling at the President or his wife would have gotten my black lesbian ass locked up in jail. You just got escorted out which was nothing more than another example of white privilege in America.

Right there with you, boo-boo.

All these white people writing about poorly how Michelle Obama handled the heckler need to shut the fuck up and sit down somewhere.

For one, I'm not a fan of hecklers.  They're the ones who cut into comic routines and crash the stage during concerts and ultimately waste people's time.  If you're paying to see someone and hear them speak, then shut the fuck up and let them speak.

I've noticed that everyone writing about this is bringing up the fact that Ellen Sturtz is gay and are unsuccessfully using it as a shield.  Sturtz's behavior was wrong, and her sexual orientation does not magically absolve her of that.  Her being gay doesn't make it okay for her tell the First Lady to tell her husband what she, Sturtz, wants them to though they were a couple of old house slaves.
Mr. Obama promised to sign such an order as a candidate in 2008, but has yet to do so, pointed out GetEQUAL in a press release following the incident. (Source)
And by all means, he needs to get on that, because lip service to gay rights fools nobody. This whole "first sitting President to endorse gay marriage" looks nice in the history books and pretty on resumes, but he needs to put that shit in writing and start passing some actual laws. Which brings us to the conveniently neglected fact that he signs executive orders, not the First Lady, and if he decides to go back on his word, Michelle can't stop him.
In an interview, Sturtz told the Washington Post, that she was stunned by the first lady's response to her heckling.

"She came right down in my face," Sturtz told the Post. "I was taken aback." (Source)

Sturtz was escorted out of the room. She said in an interview later she was stunned by Obama’s response.

“She came right down in my face,” Sturtz said. “I was taken aback.”

Sturtz said she told Obama she was happy to take the microphone to plead her case, which, Sturtz said, appeared to fluster the first lady.
This is a weak attempt to make Sturtz look innocent and helpless (you a white damsel in distress?). Let's be logical about this: you heckled a guest speaker. Contrary to how you're trying to portray yourself, you interrupted her multiple times (big surprise). You expected her to, it? Enjoy it? Get on her knees and beg for more?

I'm glad Michelle basically told Sturtz to go fuck herself because this had me flashing back to every white girl who ever got up in my face, issuing orders, rolling her eyes, throwing tantrums, and demanding to be catered to...just 'cause. That is a very real, very constant part of POC life in America. You can be the First Lady of the United States of America, and it obviously won't change a damn thing.

As a woman of color living in this country, dealing with what we deal with every damn day, it feels awesome to see Michelle Obama put her fucking foot down like this. Enough is enough, already. You want respect? You want cooperation? That shit goes both ways.  And it stays both ways; you don't rescind it when it suits you.
What can we tell from this? For one thing, for all her ease on “Ellen” and other shows, Mrs. Obama still has stuff to learn about public speaking.

Anger is much less effective than humor or a sort of rope-a-dope flexibility. Mr. Obama showed this in his May 23 speech on counterterrorism at the National Defense University. He was interrupted by Code Pink activist Medea Benjamin, whom he engaged in a bit of back-and-forth before saying, “This is part of free speech, is you being able to speak but also you listening and me being able to speak.”

He got applause for that. Of course, it was easy for him be relaxed: He was on a secure Defense Department installation.

Mrs. Obama might just have been channeling her inner parent. She sounded a bit like someone speaking to a teenager who’s neglected homework to watch “Arrested Development.” Perhaps this is why Sasha and Malia seem so well behaved.

And she has given some ammunition to critics who consider her a food scold and too nannylike. Some conservatives complain about Mrs. Obama’s push for kids to eat more vegetables and so on as an intrusion into parental prerogatives.
Ah, yes...the Angry Black Mammy. Here we go again.

Stop telling us how you think we should handle you when you act the fool. The irony here is that white people really think they're helping, giving good advice on how to "win them over" when they're being assholes.

We're not interested in winning you over. If you have no respect for us to begin with*, you are no friend.  You are no "ally".  You are not a part of the solution.  You are merely yet another knife pointed at our backs waiting for your turn.
Mrs. Obama’s experience was mild compared to what Lady Bird Johnson went through in the fall of 1964 when she campaigned in the South for her husband. LBJ had just signed the Civil Rights Act, and many white Southerners were incensed. In Richmond, Va., Mrs. Johnson was greeted by a banner that read, “Fly Away Lady Bird.”

But she pressed on, giving 47 speeches to a total of half a million people.

“I am aware that there are those who would exploit [the South’s] past troubles to their own advantage," she said on Oct. 9, 1964, in New Orleans. "But I do not believe the majority of the South wants any part of the old bitterness.”
This is just to downplay what happened (not to mention conveniently invoking the Civil Rights Act) and try to find ways to make it seem like everything is the FLOTUS's fault while taking cheap shots at her.

Then again, it's Wednesday, so I don't know why I'm even bothering.

*This is the part where white folks start chanting about how much they love [insert whichever POC they were blasting here].  Respect is not merely said; it is shown, and Ellen Sturtz did not show respect.  Many whites will take issue with that type of statement because even in 2013, "post-racial" America, they don't like showing POC respect, and many of them genuinely don't even know how - it's that antithetical to their way of thinking.

Lastly, all these white writers are coming to Sturtz's defense because she tried to put a black woman in check. These - and others - are news sites and blogs I check daily and I've never seen them so pro-gay and ready to take up pens for the cause.  When our President is a gay man or woman - and that day will come - will these same sites still be this gung-ho?  Doubt it.  This is just a classic case of white solidarity, namely protecting the fragile white dame from the bitter black bitch.


  1. Stop telling us how you think we should handle you when you act the fool.


    And as I said over on TBGC, don't show your ass and expect it not to get kicked. Ellen Hurtz can take a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut.

  2. If I could, I would have posted the video of that one black woman smacking the fuck out of the white woman who was so completely disrespecting her and then acting the damsel in distress...

    Just that line from Sturtz "She came right down in my face!" is so very damned telling of what she thinks of black women standing up for themselves and not taking shit from some rude heckler who was talking to her like Mrs. Obama was her domestic servant.

  3. It irks many white people/white women to no END when you are the one in authority and the one that they have to answer to. They will act a pure D fool. I had one at work that I deal with cross-functionally that was trying to give orders. Not ask for help, which is how she should have framed things, but actually giving orders. And she more more or less pulled the same move when I ignored her and proceeded to do things as we had agreed to in a meeting (running to her manager that I also do NOT report to and who I don't even think outranks me on paper to whine that she shouldn't have to do it).

    They like to hit you and then cower in fear that you might hit them back, since you are practically a man. How dare that woman disrespect the FLOTUS and then want to complain that she was scared. The Secret Service would have man-handled, tased, or shot my black behind if I'd pulled that crap on Laura Bush or Hilary Clinton. Her privilege is totally showing that she can be hostile towards the First Lady and not expect to get checked, let alone capped.

    I'm not even surprised that she is somehow trying to hide behind her sexual orientation but even if she had been a straight white woman she'd have still pulled this crap about the big angry scary black lady "getting in her face." Yes, Virginia, you are in fact an entitled racist and you do not get a pass on that just b/c you date other ladies. Bitch please.

    I think we discussed this, but she should be thanking FLOTUS for giving her trifling, entitled ass some food for thought, b/c one day she'll pull her ish on somoene who doesn't have to show restraint and who will give her the ass-kicking that she has clearly gone 56 years without getting.

    This reminds me so much of Jan Brewer with her finger in Obama's face. She also deserved a hard slap or kick in her flat behind.

    1. They like to hit you and then cower in fear that you might hit them back, since you are practically a man. How dare that woman disrespect the FLOTUS and then want to complain that she was scared.

      This is a very important point. Sturtz figured that because she paid $500 for a seat and this was a public event (and because she's a lesbian), she'd purchased the golden trifecta of immunity.

      And that's what this is all about: finding ways to disrespect black people with immunity.

    2. Lavern Merriweather6/11/13, 12:36 PM

      I feel that is why so many white people in the suppsoed 'liberal' media still refer to Bill Clinton as president when he isn't anymore and will never be again. Trust me privilege HATES to lose it's place this also reminds me of an incident 20 years ago on the Arsenio Hall show when he went in on some white male gay activists from Queer Nation. They actually had the nerve to question him on his own damn show why he didn't have any gay guests like Gus Van Sant and he gave it to them good and rightfully so.

    3. Of course, they were glad when his show was canceled and off of the air. Too bad that he didn't have then thrown off of the Paramount lot and even banned from being on the show again; that would have been amazing.

      Also, why would a black comedian who most likely never heard of Gus Van Sant or even seen his movies even be inviting said person on his show when most blacks have never heard of him? Why not pull this with Carson/Leno or Letterman? Because all three men would have had their asses busted up real good by NBC/CBS security and then get arrested and given some serious shit by the LAPD!

      At any rate, if I were the First Lady, I would have given her a bitch slap that would have shaken the foundations of the building the function was held in. Maybe that would have taught her something.

  4. Jane Elliott once talked on Oprah about the ways in which Whites treat POC in America. She pointed out a White man who stood up and made a statement but said that if a Black male refused a White man's/husband's/father's orders on the street, Whites would not see that as highly principal, they would see him as being an uppity n*****. That is how this Ellen Sturtz character viewed the First Lady. She threw stones and is upset and mad that this uppity you-know-what decided not to take her crap lying down and threw the stones back. Like the old saying goes, "Don't start no shit, there won't be none."

    1. She pointed out a White man who stood up and made a statement but said that if a Black male refused a White man's/husband's/father's orders on the street, Whites would not see that as highly principal, they would see him as being an uppity n*****. That is how this Ellen Sturtz character viewed the First Lady.

      Boom. And now everyone's scurrying to invoke gay rights and Civil Rights history to block some very necessary criticism.

  5. I currently work with a white woman who is 20 years older than me and I am her supervisor. Supervisor in name only because she refuses to listen to me or take orders. And her reasoning is because I couldn''t possible know more than she does when I have 2 degrees and 10 years experience on her. BUT... my boss refuses to let her non working behind go.

    FLOTUS said what a lot of us can't....

    1. FLOTUS said what a lot of us can't....

      Which is why this struck such a huge cord with Moi.

  6. Let me tell you a story.

    Five years ago, I was part of a school play, and we were invited to perform at state conference. During our performance there, a guy in the front row rudely heckled our (female) lead, at which point she broke character to say "Excuse me, this show is called ____, not "Guy in the front row."

    Up until now, I had never seen anyone so majestically take down a heckler.


  7. This ain't nothing but white female privilege in action. Reverse the roles: heckler as a black woman ... first lady as a white woman. The media would be calling the first lady brave not angry or "out of control".

    1. Don't forget the part where Secret Service would have been "forced" to shoot, tase, or otherwise use physical force against her.

  8. "Their reaction seems to me in direct proportion to their sense of feeling cheated of the advantages which accrue to white people in a white society. There's an element, it has always seemed to me, of bewilderment and complaint. Now that may sound very harsh, but the gay world as such is no more prepared to accept black people than anywhere else in society."

    ~ James Baldwin

  9. Contrary to how you're trying to portray yourself, you interrupted her multiple times (big surprise). You expected her to, it? Enjoy it? Get on her knees and beg for more?

    THANK YOU!!!

    Those fools are so full of themselves. They still see blacks as inferior and slaves even if some blacks are more powerful than they are. They are not helping anyone except themselves fulfilling their white supremacist spirits. They are just being total shit-filled assholes.

    And if they are being assholes, guess what, we usually act better in response. We don't sink to their level, but when we do, look out. We don't take shit from anyone, especially not white people. If they start something, they should not be surprise if we finished it, but they are. They hate it when we stand up for ourselves and put them in check.

    1. Lavern Merriweather6/11/13, 12:39 PM

      Yeah Brotha like why is it that when a black male from America visits with another man of color in power these bitches lose their shit. Like when Dennis Rodman went to see Kim Jung Yun those assholes went nuts and even kept yacking about Obama when it had nothing to do with him.

  10. And it looks like the Fates are decreeing that a vintage Neo-Prodigy smackdown is long overdue.

    Busy right now because I'm too busy cross-posting this article everywhere.

    You know why Sturtz's orientation is being used as a shield for the same reason POCs get falsely accused of always playing the race card. Because that's shit white folks do.

    Because when you are truly facing oppression as a minority, first thing you learn quick, NOBODY GIVES A FUCK.

    Exploit the South's past troubles? First and foremost past sins of the South? As in the South is no longer a racist and bigoted society/culture. Are you talking about TN being evolved, the state that made it illegal to say the word gay in schools? Which made a speaking event at a public school very interesting.

    Or Miss, the state that just recently recognized the 13th Amendment earlier this year, you know 148 years after slavery was abolished. I'm sure they kept it on the books thinking the South will rise again and why go through the trouble or something.

    Or maybe Florida which has all but deemed itself open season on Negroes.

    The South's past troubles? No really. Do tell.

    And speaking of the past, I do believe a history lesson is in order. For those of you who think the rampant racism blacks endure from white queers is a recent phenomenon of the Prop 8 Fail, sadly a world of no. Blacks and other POCs have endured outright hatred and hostility from White LGBTQs for more than a minute as Arsenio learned here when Queer Nation trolled his show:

    1. I'm just going to say "yay!" b/c I was wondering when you were going to show up...

  11. I'm always amazed how little 101 training I have to do with other POCs on homophobia or other isms. Not only do you all get it, but you GET IT.

    When I merely state facts and share my survived experiences dealing with racism from whites (GAY AND STRAIGHT) as a queer person of color, we get bitchassness like this:

    And speaking of my guest post,l interesting how once again POCs/POC spaces being attacked by a mob of rabid white thugs seems to be the standard.

    If the President signs that executive order about gay marriage, it can easily be overturned by the next president. The best way for that to pass and keep is for the Supreme Court to rule on it.

    But you know what, FUCK GAY MARRIAGE. Barack don't need to sign shit. BOO FUCKING HOO. A bunch of white gays can't marry. Because that's what this is all about. Affluent white gays. Talk to me about gay marriage when my trans siblings get better resources and laws protect them far better. Talk to me about gay marriage when working class queers actually have job protection. Or when we can donate blood. Talk to me about gay marriage when I don't have to look over my shoulder if I'm in the wrong neighborhood. Talk to me about the President and the FLOTUS's "shortcomings" on gay rights when you've addressed the LGBTQs CONTINUAL COLOSSAL FUCKUPS in terms of racism. I find it hilariously ironic that white folks wanna talk shit about the President and gay rights when the biggest culprits of homophobic oppression is the proverbial white Gay Inc. Case in point: the HRC rally for marriage equality where Latinos were disrespected heavily by the HRC.

    So if you ain't got shit to say about that, you ain't got shit to say at all.

    Which by the by as a co-panelist pointed out on Gay Marriage forum I paneled last month at Gaylaxicon, every state that has approved gay marriage had already passed other equal protection rights acts first before proposing gay marriage. IE they had their priorities straight (pardon the pun). It's a statistical fact, you can't pass gay marriage until you have passed MORE IMPORTANT gay rights laws. If Obama tried to sign gay marriage in 2008, it wouldn't have passed and the Republicans would've used gay marriage (again) as a weapon to make Obama a one-term president. There was a reason why John Kerry didn't run on the issue. But nobody had shit to say about that though.

    Oh and one thing, here is what President Barack Obama has done thus far for LGBTQs. FUNNY HOW THE MEDIA GAY AND STRAIGHT ALIKE DON'T ACKNOWLEDGE THIS:

    Now this brother has done all of this, and these ungrateful entitled motherfuckers still wanna talk shit?

    Why didn't any of you go this hard on Romney, Sarah Palin and every other fucking Republican who has moved Heaven and Earth to deny gay rights? Or hell even the Uncle Tom Log Cabin Republicans? And you know what, why didn't Sturtz pull this shit at a Tea Party rally? Or the RNC? Maybe it's because you don't call out the very bigoted privileged whites you emulate.

    So if the worst problem you have to deal with is not being able to register at Bloomingdale's and have the gall to bitch about it, go to hell. FUCK YOUR GAY MARRIAGE AND FUCK YOU TOO.


  12. People forget the FLOTUS is an accomplished lawyer. Lawyers are experienced orators and strategists who know how to work the public. Michelle essentially beat white women at their own game WHITE WOMAN TEARS (and played the game better). The FLOTUS threatened she would've FLOUNCED to get the fool BOUNCED. That was strategy. The same strategy I would've played. And the FLOTUS knew it would work because you don't fuck with folks' money. Let me pay $10,000 to attend a fundraiser to have it canceled because someone wanted to show their whole ass, there would be a followup fundraiser to raise me bail money.


    And I'm failing to see where the "ANGER" was displayed on Michelle's part. Sturtz acted a fool, and Michelle calmly and confidently disengaged. But because the black woman is not entitled to her space or agency or body, that's where the drama popped off.

    Even though this is 2013, most white folks still have the slave owner mindset. the part where they believe they can beat, abuse, and disrespect us and we supposed to smile and profess our love for Masssh.

    But at the end of the day, the FLOTUS was flawless and ain't a damn thing racist white folks can do about it.

    So the question now is:


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