Count the Fail

From the Washington Post:
The book Laura Murphy wants removed from Fairfax County classrooms is considered a modern American classic. It is a Pulitzer Prize winner and a masterpiece of fiction whose author’s 1993 Nobel Prize in literature citation said that she, “in novels characterized by visionary force and poetic import, gives life to an essential aspect of American reality.”

But Toni Morrison’s “Beloved,” Murphy said, depicts scenes of bestiality, gang rape and an infant’s gruesome murder, content she believes could be too intense for teenage readers.

...Murphy’s campaign began last spring after her son, Blake, then a Lake Braddock senior, told her “Beloved” disturbed him.

“I don’t shelter my kids, but I have to be a responsible parent,” said Murphy, who lives in Fairfax Station. “I want to make sure every kid in the county is protected.”

Now a freshman at the University of Florida, Blake Murphy, 19, recalled reading the book before bed and having night terrors after he fell asleep.

It was disgusting and gross,” he said. “It was hard for me to handle. I gave up on it.” nice for you.

The article goes on to insist the Murphys are disturbed by the depiction bestiality and gang rape in the book, but all I'm getting is, "Waaaaaah, Mommy.  Teacher made me a read a scary book about those pesky slavery times and I want you to get it banned."

I remember reading and watching Beloved, though I'll admit that was a long time ago.  But from the film, I will always remember the disgusting scene with lynchings, rapings, and whippings all happening at the same time.  It was like a regular old Friday night party to those white men, and this little white boy - nor any little white boy - should get to cop out opt out of having to read this shit.  All those horrifying, "disgusting" type of acts were committed by his ancestors and helped paved the way for him to enjoy the cushy life he has now.  So let him have nightmares.  Let him be disturbed, because when it comes to dealing with this shit, White Americans are not nearly disturbed enough.

(And no...trying to get the book banned doesn't count.  Not by a long shot.)



Now, while reading this BS I had to do a double-take at the date; for some reason, I thought this was some throwback to previous decades, but no...this shit current.  I looked at the pictures of Madam Entitled Suburbia Murphy and all I could think was, "...Seriously?"

So Bar, let's play a little caption game with these images, shall we?  Winners will have their captions placed above.


  1. I'll play captions later after I finish the apoplectic fit that is occurring after reading that article.

    In the meantime, I think we should respond to this bish by ordering for the banning of Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn.

    Because those novels hurt my butt what with all the times I had to read the word Nigger. Totally ruined my reading experience of those so called American classics. Hell, I might have even had a restless nights sleep because of that or at the very least an annoying bout of indigestion.

    Heaven knows what trauma might occur to my Ebony Black chirruns should they have to soil their pretty eyes reading that type of drivel. Having those books as required reading in American schools is a travesty and must. be. STOPPED.

    1. But, ah, you're forgetting that those books are simply a reflection of that time. More specifically, they're an acceptable reflection written by acceptable people.

      But a black woman writing about rape during slavery, however, is totally unacceptable.

      And yes, I do applaud the county school board basically telling this woman to go somewhere with her bullshit.

    2. white women and their fake feminism slut walks and such yet none of them will admit the generations of rape at Blacks and Native Americans were subjected to by White men.

  2. White people find accurate depictions of American history, highly offensive. They find accurate depictions of Black American suffering highly offensive. They can read/view endless depictions of the Holocaust because the Germans are the bad guys and they can depict Americans as heroes.

    1. Ain't that the truth. From Wikipedia:

      Critical reception was positive, with a 78% "fresh" rating on Rotten Tomatoes based on 67 reviews.[4] The film, however, was a failure at the box office and could not come close to surpassing its $80 million budget. According to and, the movie grossed only $8,165,551 on its opening weekend,[5] ranking #5 and being beat out by the horror movie Bride of Chucky which ranked #2 and grossed approx $11,830,855 the same weekend.[5] Winfrey has gone on public record stating that she ate 30 pounds of Mac and cheese when she was informed the Saturday after the movie opened that "we got beat by something called Chucky."[6] Oprah also claimed that Beloved's failure at the box office was the worst moment in her career and brought her into a major depression.[6] "It was the only time in my life that I was ever depressed, and I recognised that I (was) depressed because I've done enough shows (on the topic). 'Oh, this is what people must feel like who are depressed.'"[6]

      Director Jonathan Demme has commented, "Beloved only played in theaters for four weeks. It made $22 million dollars -- I think that's a lot of money. And the only reason it left theaters after a month was because the Disney corporation that released the picture wanted all the Beloved theaters -- where we were doing very well, in a number of situations. The Walt Disney company wanted those theaters for Adam Sandler's Waterboy. So, we were told that they were gonna bring us back at the end of the year, and they didn't."[7]


    2. Not only can they look at the Holocaust differently because of the "Bad German/Good American" scenario, but the people suffering were White and they were suffering at the hands of other Whites. White Americans cannot deal with White-on-Black suffering because:

      1. They know it was wrong (and a person always knows when they are doing wrong unless they are mentally unhinged).

      2. They fear payback. They know that almost every Black person holds a bit of anger at the horrific mistreatment of Black people at the hands of Whites and they never know when someone one will snap. Christopher Dorner anyone?

      Not to mention if Blacks and other POC did to Whites what Whites have done to Blacks & POC, there would be VOLUMES written on their mistreatment.

    3. White people always think being called racist or someone "thinking" (b/c yes, they are all apparently able to read our minds) is the worst thing ever.
      God forbid you have an honest dialogue about racism and racial violence b/c they have to think about why they have the privilege they have.
      No, they have more than us b/c they work hard and aren't whining about the past, didn't you know?
      I have had very few discussions about race with people who weren't either Black or Latino where they didn't make it about them or how pointing out the problems with their assumptions or stereotypes didn't make them get defensive b/c you know, there feelings are all that matter here. It is just so hard being white and having people accuse you of racism all of the time.

  3. Leo Princess2/14/13, 2:30 PM

    1. "I cannot believe they want my child to read that overblown slavery-porn nonsense! Haven't we done enough to make amends already? We gave them a co-er, Black President for chrisesakes! Hmph!" >=/

    2. "I mean...I guess slavery was bad, but I'm sure it wasn't THAT bad! Besides, didn't most of those slave-women want better children with their Masters anyway?"

    3. "Hey, you know what? Maybe I can write a more honest novel about how things really were for plantation slaves! The truth, and none of that white-guilt pandering gibberish!"

    1.'re a little too good at this.

    2. Leo Princess2/14/13, 3:45 PM

      After seeing how so many of them on Tumblr wanted to 'Sweetness and Light' a photo of a black slave wet nurse and her white infant charge (with a lactating breast out just in case the little poppet got hungry, I suppose), and getting into a tantrum when POC dared to remind them of the realities of slavery for the woman (e.g. her own children were likely starving or being fed on sugar water while their mother's milk went to nourish the Young Master/Mistress), I got far too much insight into their line of thinking. The wilful ignorance displayed that night will never leave me.

    3. Not sure if anyone at the Bar is from or has ever lived in metro Detroit, but there is a place called Greenfield Village (I think technically part of the Henry Ford Museum), and it's set up like and old fashioned town/community, and they have either the actual versions or replicas of old Sears stores, a Heinz plant, and many other relics of life in the 19th century.
      So for whatever reason, they also have "slave cabins" I s*** you not, only they have the slave cabins decorated like a Pottery Barn add with cute doilies on the table and a pretty quilt on the one large bed. It looks like a charming summer cottage.
      They have a black girl dressed up like a 19th century housemaid. Again, not pulling your leg.
      So I went there, and was ready for the big eye roll just looking around this pristine little cottage that they want you to believe a happy slave couple blissfully inhabited all to themselves with their Pottery Barn furniture.
      So this white lady in there at the same time as me said "well now, this isn't bad at all!" I looked at the black girl working there and we both rolled our eyes and looked at her but I doubt she noticed.
      But see, this is how they think about slavery. We were saved from the savage jungle and given free cute little houses and it was much better than running from lions.
      And you know, Thomas Jefferson wasn't the pedophile rapist of his wife's half-sister (whose own mother had been raped as well). He was engaged in a loving relationship with the barely teen that he owned. They also think Strom Thurmond "dated" the black maid.

    4. Leo Princess2/18/13, 5:04 PM

      "They also think Strom Thurmond "dated" the black maid. Yeah."

      A grown-ass 20-something white man respectfully courting his family's teenaged black maid? In the Jim Crow Deep South? Riiiiight. I want whatever they're smoking, cuz that sounds like some extra powerful shyt!

  4. Leo Princess2/14/13, 2:35 PM

    Oh, and you know what gave me nightmares? Reading about how white couples are getting 'bred' by Black 'bulls' so that they can have mixed-race 'colts', and then wondering what on earth those beasts were doing to the resulting children.

  5. This is crazy! My school is apart of Fairfax county. I will ask my English teacher if she thinks that this will really happen.

  6. 1. I can't believe that my son has to read this black propaganda that insults his ancestors and his white privilege, the nerve of those N*****s.

    2. I am so glad that I wasn't born black. I can't even image having to cook and clean after strangers. Thank the heavens.

    3. I can't believe that noone is taking my claims more serious. I mean I feel that my ancestors were portrayed negatively in this book. We gave them a roof over their heads, clothes and a job, what else do they want. I wonder if Oprah will hear my case about the mistreatment/misrepresentation of whites in this book?

  7. "Oh, how DARE someone try to teach my children about slavery! Don't they know how delicate their sensibilities and fee fees are? Clearly we must just stop talking about the problem and it will magically go away. Much better than learning anything or facing the truth!"

    I think I got the gist of it, but if I'm missing anything please do add.

  8. I wonder if they read the Bible.

  9. Lifecoaster2/14/13, 6:17 PM

    Awww, poor white folks got their feelings hurt because they had to read about slavery from a black point of view. Now they can't use the excuse "We didn't know it was so horrible" and actually *gasp* deal with guilt over what their ancestors did and *horror* realize that white Americans were not and are not always the heroes. Those poor dears, having to take off those lovely rose-colored glasses.

    Won't someone PLEASE think of the white children?

    1. That was Lifecoaster, giving the best comment in the room.

  10. Caption #1:

    How dare they?! I mean, how dare they - like - consider this book as appropriate for college literature. I mean it's beyond me. This is seriously not right. I know this is based on history, but I know the contents in this book are highly exaggerated. I mean it wasn't as bad as those (black) people are making it out to be.

    Caption #2:

    This is too much for my family. I mean I know this is based on history, and it was terrible. is worst than pornography. What kind of society is this where we have this kind of reading? I would never allow such stuff in my (white) Christian home.

    Caption #3:

    My poor baby, having to suffer from that. I wish he hadn't gotten that book. I just have to ask (white) God to help me through this. No (white) child should ever have to read something like this. Something has to be done for not just my son's sake, but for all those (white youth) who may get traumatized by something like this (anything that reveals the dark truth about America's past).

  11. #1 : « Look, with a large enough shirt and by crossing my arms on my chest I can pretend I actually have breasts, like those Black chicks. Now I can’t write like Toni Morrison but I’ll be damned if I can’t find a way to profit from her work…”
    #2 : pictured above, a proud specimen from a parasitic culture which, for lack of any talent of its own, catches the spotlight by destroying other people’s work.
    #3 : « This person of colour hurt the delicate sensibility of my Blakey. I’ll make them pay.”

  12. I guess this was why history class was so boring to me. Something was always missing from the truth being taken away from it. Most times it didn't always make sense to me. I'm thankful for my Sociology and Political Science professors for telling the truth about history. They didn't tell you what you wanted to hear, but what you should hear.

  13. I almost forgot:

    "I'm not a racist, but black people need to get over it. Like really, stop. We all know slavery was bad, but it happened a long time ago. For a book like that to exist, is beyond me. My poor son may never be the same. Why does they always have to bring it up??"

    1. Not good with captions but I'll try.

      1) "Nope..Nope..I'm not looking at that book.I mean, why are African Americans shoving this crap down our throats?!

      2) Darn! too late now.The damage is done.What I'm going to do.Now my child's life is screwed up for life.

      3)Gotta think about PlanB ...and quick before more of my people will be contaminated with that horrible book of lies!

    2. We all know slavery was bad, but it happened a long time ago.

      Yeah...that's another, the constant reference to the broad concept of slavery, but the absolute refusal to deal with its intricacies.

  14. I forgot my captions...
    1. Why do they keep wanting to talk about the past. Slavery was a long time ago. I didn't own slaves. I'm not responsible. They just work hard like the immigrants and stop complaining.
    2. What about black on black crime? They just keep killing each other. That is way more important.
    3. You know, there is only one race and they need to stop creating these divisions. Plus, I can't even keep up with what they want to be called. First it was Black and now if I say that I'm a racist.

    Bonus tangent caption...Why do they keep calling Obama Black? He is as much Black as he is White. And he was raised by his white relatives.

    1. Leo Princess2/18/13, 5:07 PM

      If the verbal wrist-slashing and teeth-gnashing over Obama's two elections and Rue in Hunger Games is anything to go by, anyone over 25% Black in appearance is too Black. The only people I see referring to Obama as a Biracial President (so far) are Biracial and a few Black people.

  15. ***Recommended***

    Protecting White Kids from History

    Juicy parts:

    "Laura Murphy, the book-banning mom in question, has apparently also tried to get Cormac McCarthy’s The Road and Joy Kogawa’s Obasan, a novel about the Canadian government’s internment of Japanese-Canadians during World War II, removed from the county curriculum. I have no idea what her objection to Obasan is, but there appears to be a pattern here, and it looks an awful lot like whiteness.

    "...Two of the books Murphy has objected to are by women of color. Both of them are also about the history of white supremacist violence in North America. These things don’t seem like a coincidence.

    "Murphy says she’s no book-burner and that she has no problem with teens learning about “mature” topics like the Holocaust and slavery. But the content of Obasan and Beloved – which includes graphic depictions of violence and some mentions of bestiality – are apparently a bridge too far. One has to wonder exactly what Murphy thinks happened during the Holocaust and under American slavery, or if she realizes that children were victims of both.

    "Beloved is based on the true story of Margaret Garner. It’s an unflinching look at a legacy of incredible violence and trauma that many Americans – especially many white Americans – would much rather not think about."

    1. Leo Princess2/19/13, 2:23 PM

      If they can't get rid of the ugly truth in history, they'll try to sanitize it. Like the white version of 'A Raisin in the Sun': Clybourne Park. Seriously, read that tripe and tell me that the same people bawling, "Get over it! It's the past!" aren't averse to sitting down and really facing our shared history.

  16. BELOVED is probably the most difficult book I've ever read. I don't blame the boy for finding it hard, but he is to be condemned for giving up and whining about it to his Mama.


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