10.04.2012

The CSR Diaries: And How Was Your Wednesday Afternoon?

Neo-Prodigy returns.

As inspired by the events from yesterday:
_____________________________

Dear White Peepul,

Here's a pro-tip.

If you have issues with your account and charges you OBVIOUSLY accrued, there are a plethora of ways to handle the situation.

However, I have to insist, screaming at the top of your lungs and threatening "IN JAYSUS NAME I'M GONNA WHOOP YOUR ASS YOU N*GGER IN JAYSUS NAME!!!" is not a good look.

1) You can't and won't be whooping my ass. So let's get that non
sense out of your head right now.

2) I'm a proud black man and I'm no one's n*gger. Sorry to disappoint you. And really, that was supposed to hurt my feelings or something? I was expecting something original. Impotent broke white man who needs to feel superior resorting to racist or homophobic attacks. I'm going to need you NOT to be a cliche. More than that, based on you screaming like a petulant brat and threatening and using slurs, it's clear that you're compensating for a lack of assets. Pecuniary and otherwise. So we've clearly established who the superior male is in this situation.

3) You're lucky you were dealing with me (someone who is intelligent, law-abiding and remotely sane) and not someone else. Generally speaking, because using racial slurs and threatening someone with physical violence who has your address and access to your banking information, is not the smartest move you could make.

4) Using racial slurs and threatening another human being in the name of Jaysus because of a bill YOU ran up? Really? Really? Remember you spoke this blasphemy when your prostate falls out and you get hit with a sudden bout of syphillis.

5) While I'm sure you felt gratified and vindicated for all of five seconds, unfortunately you've now been reported to the higher ups and in all likelihood you've been banned from contacting our offices over the phone ever again and can only communicate with us via written correspondence. So not only can you not contact us again, but you still have to pay those charges that you owe. Three guesses who got the last laugh.

Checkmate bitch.

NOW STAY MAD!!!!!!!!!!!

5 comments:

  1. *puts the James Brown Pimp Cape of Awesome on Neo's shoulders*

    LOLOL! Hilarious.

    I don't know who Jaysus is, but I wonder if he likes his name being used in such a fashion?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Perla Buttons10/5/12, 8:12 PM

    This is brilliant piece!

    " you've now been reported to the higher ups and in all likelihood you've been banned from contacting our offices over the phone ever again and can only communicate with us via written correspondence. So not only can you not contact us again, but you still have to pay those charges that you owe. Three guesses who got the last laugh."

    Oh, gosh. I wish we could do this at my work. I'm pretty sure we can't. Still, the notes and emails left on customers' files can be pretty entertaining!

    ReplyDelete
  3. "IN JAYSUS NAME I'M GONNA WHOOP YOUR ASS YOU N*GGER IN JAYSUS NAME!!!"

    This guy must be thinking of the white male image of Jesus. (Sarcasm):-)

    But seriously, I am very sorry that you went through that Neo. I give you mad props for being the better man.

    ReplyDelete
  4. My mother used to work customer service for the phone company and had a customer use the n word. They were repeating their password back to her and said "n as in nigger".

    ReplyDelete

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