*gasp*...can't breathe...*dead*....

So Ann Coulter said Obama's political base comprises "stupid single women", but that's not what this post is about.  I can't stop laughing at this comment:
Anntsy: She-Wolf of the Republicanistical Reich
I am the very model of the modern antiliberal,
Bloviating bile inimical, miasmal, and criminal.
Knuckle-dragging neocons deem me something of an oracle,
Though educated people find my arguments rhetorical;
In skewering straw men I'm both relentless and fanatical;
My use of attribution, though, is somewhat problematical.
For grieving 9/11 widows I heap nothing but abuse,
And I pray those wimpy liberals will be hanging from a noose.
I am vicious, rude, malicious, crude, and medically factitious;
And my injudicious outbursts mark a character fictitious.
In short, in matters forgettable, cannibal, and criminal,
I am the very model of the modern antiliberal.
— Which means a plagiarist: why sweat when one can always crib a pearl?
(This tends, I must confess, to make my writings most ephemeral.)
When Truth and Reason flee in dread, I'll give a Nazi fib a whirl.
I used to be a manly man but now am just a ribby girl:
I am the very model of the modern antiliberal!

The original:


  1. Though...I don't appreciate all the "manly" comments.

    1. "An Infinitude of Tortoises" ululates:

      Please pardon me for that. (I count only one such reference, though.) My hope there was merely to induce in Coulter what nearly happened to you.

      Glad you liked it otherwise and thanks for the handy G&S point of reference!

  2. Ann’s fondness for verbosity; (or nonsensical insipidity) underscores the extensiveness to which she lacks in empathy. I’m downright stupefied how her diatribe has solidified the xenophobic nature that moves some white men to genocide. Let this be a lesson (to those whites who might be guessing) who to cast their vote for on that brisk November day. Conservatives and bigots ooze hate like rusty spigots; they’re fascists with imperatives who’ll take our rights away.

  3. I'm sorry. My brain is shut down temporarily to come up with a snazzy reply to this steaming pile of Coulter-isms that comes out of the punk-witch's toxic waste dump also known as her mouth.

  4. Ann Coulter: “And I would just say to stupid single women voters, your husband will not be able to pay you child support if Obamacare goes through and Obama is re-elected. You are talking about the total destruction of wealth. It is the end of America as we know it.”

    Some explain to me how if you're a single woman, you have a husband. If you have a husband, why is paying child support?

    Mind you, I've never paid a whole lot of attention to this woman's personal life, but commenters keep bringing up the fact she herself is 51, never married, and constantly getting dumped. I mean...can you imagine dating Ann Coulter????

    1. I just did. Excuse me while I go to the bathroom.

    2. ?????*referring to Ann Coulter's comment* Not only has Obama's presidency brought up a lot of racists but it also have seem to brought up a lot of stupid people as well.Just plain amazing how single people can be married*being sarcastic*

    3. Leo Princess8/11/12, 12:03 PM

      I always wondered how she could be so ultra-conservative while living what could be considered a liberal woman's life (unmarried, no children, financially independent). Honestly, she wouldn't even have this lifestyle were it not for some oh so controversial societal changes that those pesky lefties spearheaded.

  5. I heard she dated Jimmy "JJ" Walker at one point in her life.

  6. That modern antiliberal thing was genius. I honestly want someone to show her that just to see how she'd react.

    1. "An Infinitude of Tortoises" (infinitudetortoises.pip.verisignlabs.com) responds, or attempts to:

      That was precisely my hope when I wrote the first version of this many years ago! Alas, judging from the evidence, she either never saw it or failed to experience the resultant myocardial infarction I'd fondly envisioned. (It sounds, though, as if I came close to pulling that trick off with our esteemed host, Ankhesen -- SORRY!)

      P.S.: Ankhesen, I'm TRYING not to post anonymously, but Blogger doesn't seem to want to digest my OpenID login -- an all-too-common failing, actually. I'm not even able to comment at RawStory these days, after they updated to a newer version of Disqus that no longer supports OpenID. Open standards get no respect....

  7. Like I said...
    "Although the Republicans may not be as warm for Mitt’s form as with previous candidates, he’s still the great white hope. Not only for many white voters (who can’t bring themselves to put Obama back into office) but for republicans at large, hoping to capture both houses. Just as we’ve said; the republicans don’t need one black vote to capture the white house. Mitt will swing further to the right as November looms closer; while fearful whites do the rest."


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