Seriously, White Women, It's Perfectly Okay to Be Thick

Normally, this a WoC-centered blog.

But since America's war on thick women isn't limited to just one shade, Nicthommi's comments on the Jennifer Tilly post really got me thinking.  While we tend to be more accommodating and realistic our own circles of color, in white circles, it's not the same.  For example, in black and brown circles, a thick woman really isn't that big a deal.  If anything, she's most likely the norm or the ideal.

In white circles...not so much.


Phenomenal will-have-a-career-for-decades chanteuse Adele Adkins once mentioned how when she first became famous, the magazines in America seemed to focus on her weight rather than her haunting voice, or memorable lyrics, or exquisite musical style.  Fine.  Let's focus on her weight here as well.  Adele is fucking beautiful.  End of story.

I live for Brooke Elliott.  If it weren't for her, I'd never touch anything from Lifetime.

Brooke Elliott is one of those deep, powerful, versatile thespians whose thick looks are just an added bonus.  She's the reason you stop flipping through channels, yawning at the cookie cutter interpretation of Caucasian aesthetics.  When Brooke steps onto the screen, you wake up and pay attention.

By the way, she's in her thirties and her skin is still as clear and creamy as a young girl's.  Gee...wonder why that is.

The Glamazons pretty much conquered America for a hot minute when they first appeared on America's Got Talent.  They were the talk of the town, so to speak; everyone was checking out the plus-sized divas and wondering where they'd been hiding this whole time.

And yes, they're talented group - let me go ahead and knock that out right quick.  They can sing.  They dance in high heels.  And they look fan-fucking-tastic when they do so.

If you go to their sites and start following their career now, you will see the might hordes comprised of devoted fans.  You'll see the countless photo shoots these women have done for Torrid, Lane Bryant, and a host of lingerie designers.

And you'll see how much their fans love those too.

Joss Whedon specifically cast Miracle Laurie in his show Dollhouse because of her thickness.  In an interview, Laurie revealed that Whedon said there weren't nearly enough thick/normal women in Hollywood and he wanted to cast against the grain (Firefly fans will recall that he told actress Jewel Staite to gain 20 lbs for the role of Kaylee Frye, and they'll recall how thick Christina Hendricks was back then too).

Miracle Laurie is one of those women who is top to bottom, healthy thick beautiful, so I just have to laugh at the way women like her are passed over in Hollywood.  I mean, why isn't she Meredith Grey?  Why isn't she starring of one of those trendy vampire shows?  She actually has a pretty face, prettier and more distinctive than most of the white faces in Hollywood, probably because she isn't aging prematurely, and she fills out her own skin.

I've admired Mia Tyler's face over the years; between her and Liv, I always thought she was the prettier sister.  Once again, the thick woman's skin has lasted across the decades, still smooth and creamy and clear as though she were a still a kid.

And another thing; Mia's photo shoots tend to project that confidence thick women are often known for.  You know...that confidence which comes from the knowledge of of not needing implants, or injections, or Botox.

The confidence that, as Nicthommi would say, a plate full of sandwiches will bring about attractive results.

Whenever Renee Zellweger chows down to play a woman-sized woman, I tend to take her a lot more seriously.  For one, she looks human a lot better.  And two, I just tend to pay attention and take her more seriously.

Thick white women in Hollywood tend to be distinctive and attention-grabbing (a la Brooke Elliott).  I've noticed that when I'm watching any TV show were there's a Requisite Random White Chick, I can't take the actress seriously.  I never know her name; I never care whether or not she has any staying power in the industry.  She's always bland, bony, indistinct, and predictable.  She's no different from the RRWC from the previous episode.  Even if the stylists change the hair color or clothing style, the RRWCs always look interchangeable.

But a well-dressed thick woman?  Unforgettable.

**Update** LAUREN SOCHA!!!!!

I can't believe I forgot about friggin' Lauren Socha!  (Thanks, Student of the Word!)

Lauren has a special place in the heart of Moi because of her accent, her kick-ass role on Misfits, and because we are blessed with the chance to witness her actually getting thicker.

That's right, kids...Lauren's making that money and puttin' it to good use, padding her money-maker and investing in some natural jugs that she'll never have to augment.

*sigh*  LAUREN SOCHA!!!!!!
RIP Amber Benson's Thickness

When Joss Whedon (surprise, surprise) was initially casting the role of Tara, he wanted a scrawny chick he could put in danger because Willow was becoming increasingly powerful.  However, the tall, wide-hipped, full-breasted Amber Benson waltzed in and won him over.

Of course...Amber eventually gave into the pressures of Hollywood and went from this (left)


to this


and now I can't take her seriously anymore.  Especially since skinnifying ain't done diddly for her career.

*sigh*

Moment of silence for this woman's thickness, shall we?  *waits for moment to pass and then nods*  Tonight, catering at the bar will comprise hamburgers from Becks Prime.  Holla if you like your cheeseburgers with bacon, grilled onions, and mayo instead of mustard.

Recommended

Black Women, Let's Be Honest

Like I was saying about circles of color....





Comments

  1. "Holla if you like your cheeseburgers with bacon, grilled onions, and mayo instead of mustard."

    Woman, do not tempt me.

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  2. "While we tend to be more accommodating and realistic our own circles of color, in white circles, it's not the same. For example, in black and brown circles, a thick woman really isn't that big a deal. If anything, she's most likely the norm or the ideal."

    I noticed this when I went to the private school (ie: rich & white) I graduated from. There were virtually no thick women. And that was looked at as the worst thing ever.

    "Phenomenal will-have-a-career-for-decades chanteuse Adele Adkins once mentioned how when she first became famous, the magazines in America seemed to focus on her weight rather than her haunting voice, or memorable lyrics, or exquisite musical style. Fine."

    Which is another thing people tend to forget. In order to have the power behind the vocals, you have to be a certain body type and size. That's why C&C Music Factory got busted back in the day for the music video scandal because we knew there's no way a thin chick could bellow the notes like that.

    "Why isn't she starring of one of those trendy vampire shows? "

    Which is interesting you mention this because Sookie Sackhouse is actually very thick and curvy in the books and is not tiny and thin like Anna Paquin. The same for Blair Waldorf in the Gossip Girl novels. In fact her weight is a point that gets brought up constantly. Leighton Meester while beautiful and talented, is not thick.

    Re: RIP Amber Benson's Thickness

    You're a bit premature on the eulogy here. I actually had the pleasure of meeting Ms. Benson this past May at Gaylaxicon. Lovely woman very cool and very down to earth. While she's naturally tiny, she's got a beautiful figure 8 and is rocking curves in all the right places. She's been focusing on her writing career (she's got several successful novels out) and she specifically mentioned that she stopped doing auditions because casting agents expected her to meet an unrealistic and unhealthy body type and as she said, she loves to eat. That was one of the things she discussed was that she refused to kill herself to fit the Hollywood mold.

    http://neo-prodigy.livejournal.com/945836.html

    "And another thing; Mia's photo shoots tend to project that confidence thick women are often known for. You know...that confidence which comes from the knowledge of of not needing implants, or injections, or Botox.

    The confidence that, as Nicthommi would say, a plate full of sandwiches will bring about attractive results."

    I've touched on this as well in how big women are my inspiration and their confidence made me become more confident about my body and just me as a person.

    http://neo-prodigy.livejournal.com/789942.html

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  3. Hold the onions and throw a side of wedge fries with a 20-oz Coke and we in da house.

    Maybe I'm the only person on the planet who's never listened to Adele. But she's beautiful.

    One reason why I believe thick women are healthy and usually with great skin is because of the layer of necessary fat. Notice I said necessary. Not all fat is bad; we require it to function normally. But when you rob the body of fat, then what is it going to use for fuel when you're also starving yourself? Hence the emaciated way skinny white chicks look and how waxy their skin is. Their faces look like wax paper stretched over a skull. Which I guess it is.

    Good post.

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  4. I love thickness on a woman. I can't find visible rib cages beautiful.

    I love women with hourglass and pear shaped figures, women with thickness in the middle. I dunno why, but I've always been attracted to that. I also like it when women have thickness in her belly. To me a soft belly is beautiful and pleasing to touch.

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  5. So funny you'd do a post on this b/c I had an experience while out at brunch today that made me think of this very thing.

    B/c just as white women resent their bodies for developing and thickening out during puberty, they also like to pass that ish down to their children.

    I saw a very cute sight at a restaurant where I live...a grandma out to lunch with her 9 or 10 ish granddaughter. They were having a nice little chat about books and the nice nana let the girl order her own food...being a little girl, she ordered mac and cheese, and some quesadillas that grandma split as an appetizer.

    30 minutes into the meal, mommy waltzes in and is immediately horrified at the "unhealthy" meal that grandma has let the little girl eat. Mind you, the little girl had eaten half a wedge of a quesadilla and about 1/4 of her mac and cheese.

    The mommy, who won't touch any of it and just drinks wine, goes on and on about how unhealthy it is, and then her own food (a turkey sandwich comes) and she starts bitching about how much food it is and how it should be only half the size.

    Why do white people complain about being given a lot of food for their money? You know, restaurant portions are big, and that is why I avail myself of the doggy bag. So I WANT my sandwich to be ginormous so I can enjoy its deliciousness for a day or two longer. I mean, I look forward to my leftovers before I'm done eating. I don't need to bitch out my waitress that she brought me a plate with more than 50 calories on it . I say bring it.

    But back to my story. The mom took the bread off the sandwich (so I'm like, um, the meat and lettuce you have left is nothing, why were you yelling?) and nibbled mostly at the lettuce and ignored the turkey. The little girl picked up the bread, started eating it, and I kid you not, the mom TOOK it from her hand and told her "no, that's too much" and moved it where she couldn't reach it. She then once again lays into grandma about the sacrilege of the meal.

    The little girl rolled her eyes when the mom took the bread, but the mom will break her eventually. Oh, she'll be so proud when that rosy cheeked, healthy little girl looks like she's about to die and hates her body.

    And yes, the mom was skinny and botoxed and old looking and should have eaten her giant sandwich and the rest of those quesadillas.

    @Ankhesen, have you seen the latest pictures of Sarah Ramirez? She is Hollywood acceptable size too. As you said, not like they're going to let her be J.Lo or Eva Mendes b/c of it.

    Oh, I also had to gag my way through another interview of Janet Jackson complaining about her battle with her thickness. Um, if I had an ass like Janet, I'd be getting arrested for walking around without pants.

    I kind of hate when they interview Janet, truth be told, b/c I personally feel that white interviewers love to eat up the idea that black women hate their thick thighs and round, shapely butts and wish we had twig thighs and pancake bottoms.

    And I'm tired of people trying to put black bodies down by acting like a big butt gives you diabetes. No, it makes your fertile...it's the belly fat that is your enemy. Steatopygia explains why many black women are built like they are built...that fat in your butt and thighs let's you be fertile while minimizing your overall volume/body size. You can work out and still have that, and I think that's a good thing.

    Yes, Adele is so lovely and I hope she never gives in to the body police.

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  6. YES, YES, a thousand times YES. This post rings so true to me; tonight, I actually apologized for being a size 12 and having stomach rolls. Apologized. I'm still kicking myself.

    A little extra weight is only "unhealthy" if you do *nothing* but park that extra weight in a chair all day.

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  7. "But back to my story. The mom took the bread off the sandwich (so I'm like, um, the meat and lettuce you have left is nothing, why were you yelling?) and nibbled mostly at the lettuce and ignored the turkey. The little girl picked up the bread, started eating it, and I kid you not, the mom TOOK it from her hand and told her "no, that's too much" and moved it where she couldn't reach it. She then once again lays into grandma about the sacrilege of the meal."

    That's just plain sick and sad, man. That woman couldn't convince me that she enjoys life like that.

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  8. You're a bit premature on the eulogy here. I actually had the pleasure of meeting Ms. Benson this past May at Gaylaxicon. Lovely woman very cool and very down to earth.... She's been focusing on her writing career (she's got several successful novels out) and she specifically mentioned that she stopped doing auditions because casting agents expected her to meet an unrealistic and unhealthy body type and as she said, she loves to eat. That was one of the things she discussed was that she refused to kill herself to fit the Hollywood mold.

    So she came to her senses? Good? 'Cause I think she was absolutely stunning on Buffy.

    Ankhesen, have you seen the latest pictures of Sarah Ramirez?

    No. Every time I Google she looks thick.

    @ Amaya

    You've listened to Adele. I've sent you tracks; you like her music.

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  9. I find the fans' denial disturbing when skinny actresses come forward and express their problems. Like when Sarah Michelle Gellar admitted to suffering from body dysmorphia, fans responded by basically saying, "Oh, well...nice body anyway" or "She probably doesn't even know what that word means." No empathy. No understanding. No attempt do anything that would shatter the fantasy.

    Years ago, I was in a forum where some troll got his ass handed to him by every woman on the board because he was complaining that all women were getting so fat. He thought stick-thin models were "healthy" and that women needed to get it together.

    I noticed that once we started bringing up the issue starving, purging, and pill-popping, and the mental problems which follow like cutting, he started with that "LOL" backpedaling shit, claiming he didn't want women to hurt themselves, just be "healthy".

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  10. Here it is...she's not Meredith Grey but she might be trying to get there.
    http://tinyurl.com/77ceu2w

    Yes, the concern trolling about women who dare to be bigger than a 6 is mind boggling. And if you dare to point out that a women with breasts and thighs is not unhealthy, you get reamed by people who insist that you can't judge it at all.

    As Doodling said, get moving and your body will figure out what it wants to, and if you are lucky, it will decide on some nice thickness.

    I can't imagine what it must feel like to always be hungry.

    Fat is necessary for cell repair and replacement, and healthy skin and hair. It's so funny, I get a lot of people asking me about my skin, and the reason why it's so nice is that I feed it.

    @Neoprodigy, I went to private school too and there were a handful of white girls who had curvier, thicker bodies and they would crash diet every year to go from where their bodies liked to be with large breasts(which they HATED) and some thickness to single digits. It never lasted, but they got so much praise for starving down...and their parents would buy them entire new wardrobes and new cars as rewards. But they always praised the girls who always looked like 11 year old boys in dresses for having the "hottest bodies."

    I don't understand what motivates a man who finds lady curves to be ugly.

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  11. Here it is...she's not Meredith Grey but she might be trying to get there.

    http://tinyurl.com/77ceu2w


    *sigh*

    RIP Sara Ramirez's thickness. Now I can't take her seriously anymore.

    Y'all have no idea how much it hurts to write those words.

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  12. You know, it's sad to say this but even the Baywatch era of the 90s is a far cry over the crap we're seeing now.

    Say what you will for the actresses and models of that era, they may have been thin but they were athletic, toned and looked healthy. None of this emaciated shit that we continue to see.

    But you know this is why I'm more sympathetic to the actresses. Because the truth is their jobs and livelihoods are on the lines. It's either get thin or you're fired and forget finding work somewhere else. And there are legions upon legions of starlets willing to jump up to take their place.

    So seeing as one actresses, Hahn, was already sacked for not being the network exec's ideal, Ramirez, who is a woman of color on top of that, doesn't have much of a chance.

    And hell when women refuse or choose to embrace their curves, they get accused of having an eating disorder. Or when they get too thin, they get accused of having an eating disorder. It's a no-win. For me, my beef isn't with the actresses, it's the execs and society for putting that kind of pressure on the actresses to begin with.

    Hell, look at what qualifies for plus size models. If I see one more thin model get called plus-sized, I'm gonna flip my shit.

    @Nicthommi exactly. And I think people forget that women on average will retain more water and fat than men do just because of biology alone.

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  13. @Neo-prodigy, you are quite right...the women in the 90's were larger, although still quite small(I mean, I think back then it was about 4's and maybe a whopping 6 on occasion but now it's all 2 and 0 and 00), and if you compare anyone who was around back then to the 2011 version, you get a lot of women who know look like Crypt keepers and Skeletors...the only time some of them look good is when they get pregnant and afterwards I'm always like, don't do it, keep that baby weight, you need it.

    Wouldn't Cindy Crawford get no work on the runway today for being too porky?

    And remember what Teri Hatcher looked like when she was on the Adventures of Lois and Clark? She looks like she's dropped 30 lbs since then. Gross.

    Please someone tell me how the crop of adult actresses who look like 13 year olds are hot...Natalie Portman, Mila Kunis, Rachel Bilson. All three look like someone who should have been sitting next to me in algebra class, and white men say that they are SO hot and sexy, and white women would give up 20 years of life to be built like them.

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  14. Is this the new Sara Ramirez?

    http://newspaper.li/static/8c65185b4e32e441518be54db18d3a6f.jpg

    If so, what the hell happened to her face?

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  15. Perla Buttons12/18/11, 7:58 PM

    Again, your timing is fantastic for me. Thank you. Like Doodling, I've been feeling "apologetic" about my current weight.

    I look like my mother's side of the family, yet I often feel that I "shouldn't" look like this. My health isn't even remotely in danger, but I still think sometimes that my body "should" be closer to the Kate Moss-ian White ideal (for those of you playing at home, I'm half Euromix, half Filipino).

    I have a belly, thighs, round arse and sides, and will never, ever be an hourglass, so what pops into my head regularly? The idea that I would be so much prettier without meat on my bones. Absurd. It might work for some folks, but it doesn't fit me.

    And thank you all for the reminder about the advantages of roundness in relation to ageing. I'm 25, but people regularly assume I'm in my early 20s or late teens. I'd like to keep things this way! Thanks!

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  16. I don't understand what motivates a man who finds lady curves to be ugly.

    Conditioning. Constant daily conditioning.

    Also, concerning sex, it makes insecure men feel much more secure, b/c the tinier the woman, the more likely she'll say, "Ow."

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  17. Ugh, you might feel manly but don't you feel like a pedophile if you are nailing a woman whose chest is as flat are yours?

    I've never understood how they get turned on by the sight of a naked body that has none of the markers of having gone through puberty.

    Or how they enjoying seeing those women dressed up like hookers more or less. It gives me the creeps.

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  18. Ankhesen Mié said...
    Also, concerning sex, it makes insecure men feel much more secure, b/c the tinier the woman, the more likely she'll say, "Ow."

    Moreover, he can exert control over her better if she's petite. To some white men a healthy, toned body is preferred and any sign of fat is considered distasteful. Follow some of the postings on sites like TMZ to see what I’m talking about. That site is ruled primarily by young white men. Every so often they'll post a pic of some skinny-malnourished white celebrity who can’t even fill out a bikini, then laud over her as if she was Aphrodite herself. In Google Images, search for the term Babe and notice the type (and race) of women in the result. When I was growing up the old saying was, “Must be jelly cause jam don’t shake like that.” A complimentary term directed at thick black women.

    I grew up with Bertha Butt and the Butt Sisters. (Notice the hips on those cartooned women) In songs like Loose Booty, and a few generations later Doin the Butt - Rumpshaker and Baby Phat-- black men praised. Search through any Jet magazine to find The Beauty of the Week and she’ll appear much thicker than her white counterpart.

    Walked in on two young white men at a local gas station years ago, talking about the type of woman they preferred. I thought it interesting so I dithered in paying for my gas. The young man told the other he preferred a diminutive woman because he could pick her up and control her better during sex. Course being the older of the two I just shook my head- paid for my gas and walked out. Conversely, a thick mature woman can be very intimidating to a young white man used to being in control. He’s afraid he won’t measure up. He’s afraid he won’t be able to impress most black women (who in his mind) have consorted with alpha males with penises ten-times the size of his. But those boy-like frail ones? Bring em on. Now older white males can be more forgiving; tending to fetishize the larger woman. But young white men (because of their conditioning) see beauty’s contrast in terms of black & white. To them, you’re either skinny or your fat; there is no thick.

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  19. @Ankh:

    Really? That was HER? Oh man...*goes to find CD* I'm so out of the loop...

    I'm so glad I learned to love my body years ago. I love my rolls, my curves, my cellulite, and the fact that people aren't really sure how old I am. But the daily barrage of images depicting what's pretty is too much to overcome for a lot of women. They want the myth, the dream so bad that they'll kill themselves to get it. If I kill myself, it will be because I went nuts at the buffet at Ryan's, or lost my mind at Waffle House.

    @Nicthommi: In reality, a lot of men want to fuck little boys. For the most part, that's socially unacceptable, and so they do the next best thing: fuck a woman with a body like a little boy. There is a serious problem with pedophilia in America, and I know that's an understatement.

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  20. @Marona, no this Sara Ramirez
    http://inventorspot.com/articles/got_milkinventive_marketing_5569

    Google got the tags wrong....don't scare folks like that!!!

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  21. Just cant bring myself to be bothered about the bodies of white women.

    i can't believe I've actually got to this point, but after all my experiences with them.. I'm just 'shrug shoulders' about it all.
    I've never heard of white women collectively saying ..wow black women gorgeous bodies ..e.t.c.
    So I rarely pay attention to their dysfunctions.

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  22. I've never heard of white women collectively saying ..wow black women gorgeous bodies ..e.t.c.

    They do, but that's not the point here.

    The point is about the health & beauty benefits of being thick/normal-sized.

    We talk a lot about how white women generally don't age well. The thick ones tend to fair quite well in that area, actually. They're getting nourishment, which allows the skin to replenish itself. And their hesitance to bare too much skin on a beach or to go to a tanning bed keeps them from aging prematurely.

    So its hilarious that these women are rejected and looked down upon, while they're bony counterparts struggle to acquire what they have naturally.

    Sound familiar?

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  23. You are quite right.

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  24. I'd like to add Lauren Socha from Misfits. She has a cute thick unrepentantly curvy figure and I loved the fact that she was proud of it. I actually loved Kelly's character a lot and I thought it was nice they included her instead of some blandly waifish white girl. Even though her character was supposed to be the UK equivilent of a wigger I like the fact that she got her shine, especially in the last season.

    People called the fiesty singer Lily Allen "fat" too. Sometimes I feel like the entertainment industry shoots itself in the foot with that BS. Real Men love them some curves, regardless of race.

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  25. I love Lauren Socha! I can't believe I forgot about her!

    *rushes to add Lauren Socha*

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  26. ***comment moderation***

    Anonymous, leave a name please.

    ReplyDelete
  27. A friend of mine posted this on facebook and I followed the link.
    I am white. White white white. Like, I have to wear 70+ SPF and carry an umbrella in the summer white.
    Just had a convo with my best friend. She's going back in to ED rehab. I think we're on stay 6. It will be for several months.
    I'm a size 12 and 165 lbs. Because I'm not a 98 lbs long distance runner with zero breasts and all bones, I feel terrible. My boyfriend tells me that I'm beautiful..but it's a hard thing for me to believe.
    I hope I can get to the point where I can accept being curvy.

    ReplyDelete

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