Confessions of a Customer Service Representative
|I hate you.|
Now, those of you who've worked in customer service before already know this shit. Those of you who have firmly remained on the other side of the fence, however, might want to listen up and pay attention.
Confession #1: I hate you
From the moment your case/account/ticket/whatever comes to my attention, my first question to myself is, "Okay...how do I get rid of this person?" And thus begins the strategizing. Mind you, when a CSR is forming a strategy to get rid of a customer, what the customer thinks, feels, or wants is never a factor. Tell me your story until you're blue in the face - it won't matter. You are the enemy. You interrupted my daydreams of Henry Grubstick (*fans*). You're the reason I can't finish my illegal bag of peanut M & M's stashed in the side pocket of my purse.
You are evil and you need to be destroyed.
For those of you who've never been sentenced to a few months as a CSR, 1) fuck you, and 2) let me tell you how it works.
First of all, you get hired in about 5 minutes flat. Everyone - your recruiter, your trainer, the people from that regional bank no one's ever heard of, and the lady from the local not-quite-a-community college who swears she can create a "future" for you - all insist you've made the right choice to begin this job. They tell you your "future" begins now. They assure you you're "going places." They talk about how they've been with the company for years and years. They talk about how it's the bestest place in the whole wide world.
This, of course, occurs during a hiring drive. Shortly after you get hired (along with a horde of other people who have Absolutely Nothing in common with another), there's suddenly a hiring freeze. Your trainer, who sang lengthy praises about the company, who's on salary and who basically shows up whenever, learns they're about to be demoted because there won't be any new people to train. Already a few other trainers have been canned for some random reason or other. So your trainer, faced with either returning to the plantation with the other CSR folk or being unemployed during a recession...willingly chooses to be unemployed during a recession.
Confession #3: They pay me (barely) enough to listen, but not enough to actually do anything about your situation
Here's another thing about companies which specialize in customer service. They're #1 goal is to keep
So CSRs have a tendency to let the punishment fit the crime. If we get paid bare minimum, we will do bare minimum.
Confession #4: That's not my real name
You think I want this coming back to haunt me while I try to get a real job? No, I'm not telling you my full name. Let's just call me "Pygmy". Working in customer service is like stripping; we've all had to do it at some point, and it's not something we're proud of.
Any other current or former CSRs at the bar tonight? Share....