Bashing Black Women: The New Sex Tape, Drug Habit, and DUI

(Thanks, Amaya!)

Pop quiz: let's say you were famous once upon a time, and now no one really gives two shits about you.  In fact, there's a whole new generation of people now who haven't the slightest clue what it is you do.  What's the quickest way to achieve relevance, even if only for a moment?

Here's a hint: take your cue from thrice-divorced Steve Harvey, clearly closeted Tyler Perry, and now the divorced, woman-beating has-been Tyrese.

Meanwhile, the commentary on Madame Noire is just priceless. My favs:
Christine: So BW, don't be a freeloader but don't be too successful either....huh???....such an oxymoron....Tyrese please sit down already.

NYC Gal: Tyrese needs to grow up and learn the difference between being alone and loneliness. There is a huge different because you can be married and still be lonely. Then you can be alone and not by lonely.

Onecorgilover: You know if a woman was trying to tell a man how to behave someone would chime in asking 'where your man at? (poor grammar included) But since a guy is doing it, it's obviously ok. Tyrese was accused of beating his pregnant girlfriend in 2007 and he divorced his wife after 10 no....I won't be taking any dating advice from him. I'm tired of hearing the blame game that society as a whole and black men in general throws at us.

I think the main reason that you find women declaring their independence is because they are trying to protect themselves. The reality is that they know that chances are pretty good that they will never find a black man to have their back, to protect them, to love them the way any woman wants to be loved. So, they put on this false bravado of Ms. Independent because they are hurting inside....they know the this is the wall that they put up to deflect the hurt and anger.

I am an independent woman. I've never felt that I had to shout it from the rooftops because I know that there are too many men out there for me to stress over someone simply because we have matching skin tones. If those ladies that Tyrese is complaining about finally realize that the world is their oyster and that they do not have to beg and plead for a man to act right, then they will be alright.

Men behave the way that they do because they know that a lot of us have fallen for the okey doke. We have been lied to, made to feel inferior... told that no one else would want us, so we stay attached to our mental abusers thinking we can't do any better. That's not true, ladies. There are plenty of men who would adore you if given half the chance. Open your horizons and stop believing the crap that guys like this put out. Whenever they want to put us in check, they will use the dreaded ALONE word. So what? Being alone can't kill you. Somethings it's good to clear your head and be alone for awhile. What they won't tell you is that men get lonely too....but no one uses that as a hammer to keep THEM in line. Hmmm....wonder why?

Saywhat?: He needs to go and sit down somewhere........

Transformers tossed this chocolate dog a bone and now he's got all of the answers in life?

Has he rebounded from hittin his ole lady........or did he trade her in for a becky?

DeepThinker: I am so tired of being lectured and critisized so harshly. It seems that black men have already made up our minds for us as to what we should want and need without asking the black woman. Also, why do men over inflate the so-called "importance" in a woman's life? Like our lives are doomed if we don't have one of them hanging around. I do value having a significant other, but if I don't find the "right" man it is not going to break me, I have other things to fill up my life. Most of the women on this "independent kick" really want a good man in their lives but have gotten so tired of the disrespect, abandonment, and rejection that a man is no longer a priority in their lives. Especially the hard working sisters that get tired of being passed over for the golddiggers.

SDENNIS334: I got through 8 seconds of the video and that sappy elevator music before I hit pause (LOL, so did I). Tyrese, I cordially invite you to have SEVERAL SEATS.

Black women are independent for the same reason white, latina, asian women are are independent. We don't live in a society where we can depend on men to provide for us - partly because of the economy, partly because the quality of men nowadays is the pitts. Trust, there are plenty of dudes who don't mind being unemployed, don't mind living off someone else. Men - If you want to be a leader, play your role (convincingly). How are you going to expect a woman to follow you, to open up to you, to be submissive, to 'soften up' when we are the ones who are picking up your slack? It's not easy to our own job, let alone yours too.
I'm not sure what else to add, because in some way or another, all these ladies have expressed what I wanted to express.

So I'll just step out with this: it's hype.  It's controversy.  For famous Black men who are still chasing white folks' money and who've adopted their attitude towards publicity, bashing Black women is the new sex tape.  It's that drug habit one conveniently develops publicly in Vegas the summer their album tanks.  It's that drunken car accident which magically happens the same week their movie comes out.

You can see where I'm going with this.

The music industry is dying on the vine because it hasn't found a way to outwit modern technology.  Younger generations are not used to paying for something so trivial as music, so they sure as hell ain't about to start now.  And bar patrons have renamed Hollywood "Hollywhite" for reasons which need no explanation.  Times is hard for folks like Tyrese - I get that - but bashing your original core fan base is kinda like hacking off your own dick with a machete; in other words...dumb as fuck.


  1. You know it's bad when I'm not even angry, or annoyed when yet another black-woman bashing media schtick comes on (which is every other hour, by the looks of it). I'm just bored.

    I'm sitting here going, "You and others have been slinging mud of us for many years. Some of us fell for it, but too many of us haven't for your liking - and so it shall be forever. Give it up already!"

  2. You know I will have my own response to this shortly. Until then, Tyrese...

    Choose the left cheek, the right cheek, or go straight up the middle. Pick which part of my ass you want kiss. Fuck you, motherfucker.

    *pops collar and strolls off to write her own post*

  3. @ leoprincess

    You know it's bad when I'm not even angry, or annoyed when yet another black-woman bashing media schtick comes on (which is every other hour, by the looks of it). I'm just bored.

    I know what you mean. It's like I see this stuff and think, "Well, now...someone's career is in the shitter."

    If I recall correctly, Tyrese was one of those few singers Black folks - namely women - were actually willing to financially support way back when. Now to revive his flagging career (Mr. Tacky Ktown Reality show...which you know he hoped we'd all forgotten about), he's deigned to talk down the women who are most likely to buy his next album and show up to a concert. Riiiiiiight. Fucking brilliant, mate.

  4. Saw that video clip. What the hell...?

  5. This is not surprising in the least. After all, this is someone from the entertainment industry who's given air time to discuss important issues that require the thoughts of someone more incline to speak. This is like asking Donald Trump on his views about the black community.

    The sad thing is despite how screwed up his comments were pertaining to independent black women which made absolutely no sense, and the fact the media is fixated on black women's relationships in general, there will be black women who will still buy his music. It's no different than black women still listening to Chris Brown, and white women still watching Mel Gibson movies, and we all know how mentally stable those guys are.

    I'm not inclined to give my two-cents on this, but I do think that this obsession and the myths associated with independent black women is just the fear of the male patriarchy structure losing its grip, and black men are a part of the structure.

  6. I do think that this obsession and the myths associated with independent black women is just the fear of the male patriarchy structure losing its grip, and black men are a part of the structure.

    And so say us all.

  7. It's funny. Just like the "Black men are the only men for me!" women in those date white men articles, here we have the "I'm independent I don't need a man" women. I keep hearing about these women yet unless I'm COMPLETELY oblivious I have yet to actually meet these women. And online doesn't count. I supposed they all live in the same neighborhood along with the "I need a thug!" women.

    Tyrese needs a serious case of "Shit Yo Ass Down." The same guy who got mad at his own fanbase for calling out his lack of black women in his video, turns around and makes a video like this. His album sales are floundering. If he keeps pissing off his fan base, his ass will be back on the bus singing with a bottle of Coca-Cola.

  8. I keep hearing about these women yet unless I'm COMPLETELY oblivious I have yet to actually meet these women.


    The same guy who got mad at his own fanbase for calling out his lack of black women in his video, turns around and makes a video like this. His album sales are floundering. If he keeps pissing off his fan base, his ass will be back on the bus singing with a bottle of Coca-Cola.


  9. The nerve of me actually thinking I enjoyed being single! Better get out and hunt for a man ASAP. And if I can't find one of my own well ...perhaps I'll just have consider sharing one, because we all know having a "piece of a man" is better than not having one at all!!!

  10. Wait...he's saying these women that just want to lay up and be sexy is isolated to just Black women?

    *drops mic*

    When are men going to learn that (insert race here) women are not a friggin monolith. Are there some issues that affect certain ethnic groups of women more than others? Fuck yes. Just like not all (insert race here) men are the same...

    I'm too tired to put any other thoughts together.

  11. Okay, how is that my parents who have to be at least 10 years older than this guy and yes both black, are more progressive on these matters?
    I mean, my dad couldn't give a crap if I ever got married, he just wants me to be happy. In fact, he and mu mom encourage me not to actively search to get married.

    Also, is it just me or is all this talk about marriage really about some guys wanting to be married but not wanting to say it out loud so they blame women?

  12. Such a sad...sad case. I'm so tired and I'm just sighing and shaking my head at Tyrese. Did anyone see the disdain and self loathing in his face? I used to love Tyrese back in junior high. Bought his first album with my twelfth birthday money and everything.

    My favorite comment was this one:

    Amija: Shhhhh...I just want you to sit and be pretty Tyrese. No, Shhhhhh.

    One of my favorite urban gossip blogs, goes in on his stupid tweets daily. I find it so sad...that he insults the women that have supported his whole career in the video, and then he encourages them to support his artistic endeavors in the next breath. Like WTF?

    He is experiencing a decline in his career but his current financial woes have NOTHING to do with that whatsoever. He tweeted something about how "Why would god give me all of this, only to not let me keep it."

    First of all: Am I the only one that's done with these materialistic capitalist Christians?

    God is not responsible for you mismanaging your money, not investing it properly, or misspending it by living well above your means.

    Second of all: I can't even be Mad. I know he is not the smartest man. I watched him on "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire" back in the day when he was actually getting gigs, and he barely made it past like...three questions. He was trying to win money for charity. Another celebrity contestant even helped him out with an easy answer! He looked so embarrassed and surprised.

    I understand that he is taking out his anger/ self loathing/frustration for his bad decisions/bad luck on the only women that have ever had a significant impact on his life.

    Tyrese went from struggling to showing off, in a relatively short amount of time and never used his prosperity to confront his self image/identity/gender issues. Had he taken the time to do that, he might have made better decisions, exercised better self discipline and judgement in his career and personal life.

    I've seen many MoC have this problem. They have male privilege. And even a good upbringing won't always guarantee that they know how to treat women and how to hold themselves accountable for their fuck ups.

  13. Tyrese? I thought that fool was dead? Oh wait, that's just his musical career and his acting career. He hasn't been relevant since freakin' Baby Boy, which was only "a mediocre film" because of supporting actor Omar Gooding's great performance.

    @ ShaSha LaPerf

    "The same guy who got mad at his own fanbase for calling out his lack of black women in his video, turns around and makes a video like this. His album sales are floundering. If he keeps pissing off his fan base, his ass will be back on the bus singing with a bottle of Coca-Cola."

    Yooooo! HAHAHAHAHA!

  14. I could never understand a woman begging a man to listen to her, to act right, to be motivated, whatever. It's like men are supposed to be perpetual children or highly resistant creatures that must be tempered by an utterly devoted and/or desperate woman. I should add that just some men are like this. But I've been on the listening end of a fiend begging her boyfriend like a broken record to do this or that and it was annoying as all hell. Frankly if I see that prick again or have to deal with her relationship bullshit I'm out. People just need to wake up. Relationships are not some kind of fucking puzzle. They should just be straightforward and uncomplicated. If you can't deal with that you probably shouldn't be in one.

  15. bwaaahaa haa who chose the soundtrack for this, it sounded like in church, which is fitting considering the message some black churches are putting out for women.

    But here is the real kicker though. Tyrese and men like him have a problem. The problem is one of access.
    They apparently have access to all these 'other women', yet they still keep talking about 'black' women.
    Tyrese and his cohorts are boys with money, playing at being men.

    The reason why they are not successful is because they keep punching above their league.
    Ask Tyrese and boys like him, for the definition of a man and they will come back with some 15th century BS. They are advocating themselves as God's of the household, Leaders and masters of women to have dominion over her body and soul and this is why they cannot get the black women they want.

    They want to dominate and own them, and these women refuse to be dominated. and the ones who do submit sometimes do it for money.
    Tyrese and the like, want to be worshiped, adored, and star fucked by a ride or die woman without being 'ride or die men'. and I guess even white women are no longer falling for their games so they come running back only to find that black women have moved the heck on.
    Tyrese, I will guaren-damn-tee, my retired rabbit did more for me that you ever could. even the dude I'm with recognised that, thats why the upgraded the it and incorporates it into his meanderings.

    And when it comes down to it, its really all about 'dick'. Tyrese seems to think his dick should be enough to enslave women. lol. Grow up and go beg Will Smith to give you another chance to learn from him.

    good dick is plentiful, both real and artificially constructed. If you don't think a rabbit can be better than you, come here let me show you the way. You are using it wrong lol. Silly boy. lol

    These bitter dudes are hilarious. No-one wants you Tyrese, even with your smooth skin and yes finish looks, and change in your pockets. You still can't find a woman lol. that's why you crying.

    go sit down somewhere.

    Look, we all know. If a man has NO/ZERO interest in you, you could bounce naked on his head and he won't even ask what your name is. You become like dust to him. But when a boy thinks he is the ish, and you turn him down. He gets bitter and starts cursing at you.

    A man will step up. A boy will point fingers and tell you, you have a problem for not liking him.

    Tyrese, if you had a whole country of people telling you to say this ish, you will still need more people and then some.

    Keep being the clown, your sex is not enough to make me voluntarily want to be a slave.


  17. You know if a famous Black woman an actress,singer or rapper where to comment on Black men, you know say that Black men and Black women will jump on her like no tomorrow and she will have very little co-signers. I mean Tyrese is getting people who agree with him and his wife beating self

    Could you imagine if Gabrielle Union, Halle Berry, Stacy Dash hell Nikki Minaj were to chat about Black men like the famous one do about Black women. You already know that they would get bashed so hard by Black men and Black women.

    I mean yeah on those stupid talk shows you hear mess from both sides but the celebs its always the men commenting on women and some women commenting on women. And even if the Black women celebs do they have the good sense not to do so in public.

    Tyrese can go and have a seat next to Taye Diggs, Wesley Snipes, Jaheim, Yung Berd and anyone else who we haven't heard from in a while.

  18. Someone ought to tell Tyrese that when you're independent, you will be just fine and what if a Black man didn't want me for being just that? I'll just move on to a man that will and there are plenty of them who aren't as bogus thinking as he is.

    Tyrese is no different from critics who say that Black women are too bossy. I don't know about Tyrese and guys that may share his feelings,but I don't want to go to the Dark ages or Stone Ages. He don't want a Black woman, he wants a child.

  19. ...So why does he care? If BW are in possession of such horrible attitudes, why is he up his own ass about it? Anyone else would step away and move on from things that displease and disgust them.

    His problem is that the game has changed and he can't deal with the new rules. Shit aint rigged in his favour any more. Tyrese has found that BW expect things from him that he's never had to give before, and they have no problem showing him the door. Newsflash: If you want quality, you gotta pay premium, patriarchy coupon is invalid.

  20. Tyrese.. smh, dear goodness. I think what kills me about his whole discussion is that he really feels he is making a valid point. He is pausing to "think" and "get deep".. I really think he believes he was PREACHING on this one.

  21. The funny thing about Tyrese and black men like him is that they want to criticize black women for being gold-diggers, lazy, superficial, etc. but never acknowledge that the supposedly easier to deal with white or Asian women are only around when they have money and fame.
    Funny how those women suddenly vanish when men like him run out of money but will they ever get called out for being golddiggers?
    I remember reading on one gossip blog about some silly black football player who married a Russian chick that he sent to med school. She had 4-5 abortions while they were married (I'm pro-choice but clearly this chick was not trying to have black babies) and then left him, got some insane divorce settlement, and I'm sure married a white man. But I have never, ever, ever heard a black man complain about that move (in that case or any other).
    And people don't seem to have a problem when all white women do is lay around and get paid for their looks or who they sleep with.

  22. I just remembered that he's a father of a daughter. >_> So....what exactly IS he telling her, by extension? Whatever he tells himself to help him sleep, he's raising a future black woman. This rant also applies to her.

    Someone didn't think this all the way through.

  23. One problem I had with the video is that Tyrese is trying to define independence for women. I feel like when you're independent you try to define yourself, have agency over your own movements and motivations. So this quasi-independence that some guys and musicians like Tyrese try to celebrate, which normally prioritizes male satisfaction.

  24. NaturallyJAY11/15/11, 4:51 PM

    "Transformers tossed this chocolate dog a bone and now he's got all of the answers in life?"

    This statement is PURE gold! Lmaoo I love it & this post! I love this blog page as well, glad I found it! :-)

  25. @Nicthommi - Damn, that Russian found the perfect dummy - med school? Let me even THINK of trying any of that, and see how quickly I get a fist to the face. 4-5 abortions during the marriage? Wow. How much plainer did it need to be that she was with his stupid ass for his money, and that hallowed green card?

    She's unscrupulous, but I can't even hate on her for it. It's like those folks who fall, and KEEP falling, for those lottery and e-mail scams. *smh* Be more proactive about sense and safety, people!

  26. Yeah, Michael Strahan has to pay his white ex-wife a bundle too...I wasn't surprised that when he deigned to give sisters another try, it was with Eddie Murphy's ex, who had a big pile of alimony money of her own. A broke black woman, even one with green eyes, was not going to cut it.

    Ugh, and so gross that black men with black daughters run around saying this stuff on record. Can we put him in a rocket with Steve Harvey and blast them both to the moon?

  27. This has all the earmarks of the man's fear of a female planet.

  28. I'm sorry but I haven't been able to take Tyrese too seriously when he allowed himself to get virtually dickslapped by Usher (and not in the good way) in his video, My Way.


  29. I'm tired of the *crickets*.

    Commenters on here are giving me frightful examples of non-Black gold-diggers robbing our brothers...but I'm not hearing a damn thing about that in media. It's always the Black woman's fault.

    White girl marries you for your money, divorces you, takes half and remarries a white guy? No problem. Black woman gets a degree, a good job, and lives happily single? Nation in crisis.

  30. Tiki Barber...take note before you marry this Barbie chick you left your pregnant wife for. You're already gonna lose half your loot...and Barbie's going to take the rest of it a couple of years from now.

  31. "White girl marries you for your money, divorces you, takes half and remarries a white guy?"

    Don't forget the multiple abortions! Remember in "Why Did We get Married?" when TP's character was pissed at his wife for her secret tubal ligation? If she had had abortions, her body would be lost in those mountains. This non-fictional woman got a medical degree, fat alimony, U.S. citizenship AND a mate more to her liking. Talk about life not imitating art.

    As for Tiki - "Cheaters never prosper". Check Steve McNair for reference.

  32. Tyrese(tweet): "So many people in this world who will sit there and WATCH YOU make mistakes, piss people off, make bad moves and NEVER SAY ANYTHING!!"

    I say this on an urban blog that posts random celebrity tweets. I think this explains A LOT about his mentality.

    You know the saying " A fool and his money are soon parted"? All these stories people are posting about black men chasing after Becky's and getting shafted, really brings that to mind.

    Whenever non black women pat themselves on the back for taking the "good" black men I'm happy to inform them that they are only taking the SUCKERS and FOOLS that black women do not want anyway.

    When THESE men marry out, I rejoice. Thank God they take the dumb ones so I don't have to deal with that mess. Whew, I feel like black women collectively dodge a bullet every time they get rich and run off with these white/asian women who only want them when they make bank.

  33. Re: That Tyrese tweet - someone had to tell him that pissing off his financial base was a bad,bad move? Dang, son!

  34. Well, Tiki Barber's ex is Asian American and her parents lived with them, and she is definitely going to take him to the cleaners. He's going to one "ideal" to another.
    But again, would she have been messing with him if he didn't have bank? So he's just leaving one gold-digger for another. I live in an area where a lot of the men chase Asian women like they are crack and the black ones will openly complain about getting shot down by them (b/c when they date out, they prefer white men). But I'm also in an area where the black men have even less than usual, despite the area being very affluent. Hmm, think there is a correlation there?

    As for Tiki, I always found it interesting that he and his brother were raised by a struggling, single black mom but they never wanted to make a home with or for a hard-working black woman. So his Asian wife is going to get enough money to take care of her and her parents and will probably not be remarrying any black men in the future.

  35. As far as I'm concerned, Tiki, Tyrese 'nem aren't our problems. I'll leave it to those other black women who keep wailing, weeping, and gnashing their teeth every time men like them step out with non-black women*. They made their choices, we are making ours. I just want to make it clear that we're not consolation prizes if their relationships go bust. Please miss us with that mess.

    *I prefer them being that open about their preferences, rather than marry a black woman for image and have assorted hearts-desire side-pieces.

  36. Fashion tip from Moi:

    To all the Black men who want to lecture Black women,

    1) Don't.
    2) If you insist upon ignoring #1, at least have the decency find some spokesmen with credibility, preferably not in the Has-Been section. They'll be the comfortably employed, highly educated, often happily married ones who have better things to do anyway.

    With that out the way, I'm with all the commenters who say good riddance to the Becky-chasers. As of today (mark your calendars), I'm now officially rooting for the Beckies. Beckies, if you're reading this, take their money. Take all their money. Pull an Elin and walk off to another continent with at least half their money. Make an example of these men so that all who follow in their footsteps can't say their forewarned.

    Seriously...I grew up on Tiger Woods. He literally spent years building that billion-dollar empire of his and his woman walked off with half off it free and clear in the blink of an eye.

    So rock on, Beckies. Try to beat Elin's record and take it all. Because I honestly can't wait to hear the lectures those men will have for Black women then.

  37. *can't say they weren't forewarned.

  38. OMG...they are making a MOVIE based on Steve Harvey's relationship advice.
    Looks like Gabrielle Union and Taraji Henson are in it...

  39. saw it. they kept showing his ugly mug every few minutes. there were plenty of take that's at Tyler Perry films(those were funny), but this film wasn't much better.

  40. As of Kattpacalypse, Katt Williams is officially on the anti-rabbit train as well. What was that he always said about bitch niggas?


This blog is strictly moderated. Everyone is now able to comment again, however, all Anonymous posts will be immediately deleted. Comments on posts more than 30 days old are generally dismissed, so try to stay current with the conversations.