Show Me Your Dick

When I was in college, I was part of a female "consortium" comprising straight, bi, and lesbian women, and we analyzed sex and relationships almost on a daily basis.  I emerged as the non-relationship type; I was always busy, working anywhere from 2-3 jobs at once while carrying a full course load, building my resume diligently, drafting what would become Purple Jars of Rice and Folklore, and Other Stories, and was overall filled with the determination to become a successful career woman.  When dealing with men, a ring, a house with a white picket fence, and 2.5 kids were NOT on my mind.

Another girl emerged as the "why won't he put out?" girl.  If the guy she was messing with wasn't messing with her after a couple of dates, she would become offended and simply take comfort with a woman while waiting for him to finally put out.

Another girl emerged as the "Rules" girl; we'll call her Leelee.  Leelee was bisexual and hadn't slept with a guy yet.  She had this one rule which I remembered above all her others: if a man couldn't make her come before they had sex...then he wasn't getting any, and a dump-o-gram would soon follow his failure.

While I completely supported that rule, I later saw one flaw.  I noticed that men - namely the white guys - were using oral sex as a way to compensate for intercourse, and sometimes get around it altogether.

I found that surprising at first, but now, I recall that out of all the different types of men in my life, the white ones were the only ones who seemed terrified of showing their dicks.  It didn't click to me until much later, when I was at a comedy show and the comedian - a white guy - cracked a joke about how when he got high with a bunch of girls, he became incredibly paranoid that they were going to "pull down [his] pants, and laugh at [his] dick."

Couple this with the penis size obsession infesting the nets, and a pygmy starts to wonder.

Um...show me your dick

Hate to break it to you, but as a straight woman, I expect dick to be on the menu.  Surprise!  We like dick.  That particular item is supposed to go without saying; it's practically expected to be listed first, and with something resembling pride and confidence.  Now, I get it, I get it..."intimidating Black woman and all her 'experience'...she's probably had bigger and darker and isn't going to be impressed with mine...." - um, that's a myth with a hint of stereotype, and it doesn't release you from your dickly obligations.

When I was in college, this guy professed the same crush on me he'd had since high school.  But I noticed that for all his praise, all his admiration, and all his chit chat, dude always seemed to hesitate getting physical.  He actually came to visit me at college one time, driving over an hour with the intent to get it on, but then (literally) panicked once we were alone.  He actually started shaking and talking about how nervous he was.

*shudder*

Now, at the prospect of only providing oral pleasure, he relaxed, but the mere thought of revealing his wang damn near sent him into a coma.

Um, it's...your dick


Gentlemen, it's your dick.  You've been on a first-name, first-hand basis with it since birth.  If by adulthood you don't know how to properly use your own dick, that is a problem you need to fix, not find innovative ways to "excuse".  Get it working, because after you conform to Leelee's Rule, after you nail that first test, you're still expected to pass the second.  Leelee's Rule is not a get-out-of-jail-free card.

Duh, the vagina is adaptive

Didn't you know?  See, when women tell you size matters, it's usually just to hurt your feelings and shut you up.  The vagina can actually engorge and retract to accommodate dick size, provided that it's given time to do so.

In grad school, this one dude had a small dick.  Now, I'll be honest; I was disappointed initially because I thought he was about to bring it.  He threw me on my back, ripped off my nightgown, and so I thought it was about to be on.

Well, no...not so much.  A few minutes later - literally, a few - I wound up blinking at the ceiling with a WTF look on my face (during and after), not because of the size, but because right as I was start to "adapt", dude dramatically (and triumphantly) rolled over onto his side and asked for a cigarette.

And my stories could go on and on.

In conclusion

We're not in a science lab doing comparative measurements.  I'm not some Lord High Inquisitor lounging on my bed with a firing squad, in case expectations should not be met.  One of the best experiences involved a dude who was laidback and honest from the get-go.  "The first time might be quick, but after that, we should be all right."  We didn't have the "size" convo, we didn't bicker over protection, and when we passed out, it was well-earned.

Katt Williams once said that men are less likely to dwell on their physical flaws.  Well, prove it, by gum.  I'm just saying, whip it out and be proud.  It is what it is; have some confidence regardless.  I mean, I can't be proud if you ain't proud.  And if a girl visibly seems unimpressed with it when you first take it out, then ask her point-blank if she'd prefer you pack it up, take it home, and leave her thirsty ass wondering "why might have been."

Recommended

See, the thing about female sexuality.....

Comments

  1. One thing I've come to learn is that for all the flack women receive about being disconnected with their sexuality, men are just as bad, if not worse.

    I mean women have to contend with societal shaming of their bodies and sexuality, patriarchy and misogyny. What's men's excuse? You would think that with men's obsession with all things strip clubs and porn, they would have a clue. But the fact is most of them don't.

    First off, I was really shocked to learn that most men don't fuck for the experience or the journey. They're just trying to get off as quickly as possible.

    I've never understood. For me, first off. If I'm having sex, we're talking three hours minimum. Secondly, I get off on giving pleasure. I look at as a challenge. I won't allow myself to get off until I've completely satisfied my partner by any means necessary. That means researching techniques, trying new things and exploring. And nothing short of them screaming my name, crawling up the wall like Spider-Man, on the phone calling the cops because the sex with me is that damn good that it's GOTS TO BE ILLEGAL, is acceptable. I'm a perfectionist. If they aren't satisfied, I'm going to keep trying until I get the combination.

    And the best partners I've had, have had the same mindset with me. And that's why the sex was epic. At the end of the day, size is nice, and so is a nice body, but if you're not comfortable enough with yourself to fuck and not feel ashamed before during and afterwards, then I say keep it moving.

    But that's just me. YMMV.

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  2. I really don't much to add at this point lol. I mean there is, but I don't know if I should say it.

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  3. @ Brotha Wolf

    Email me then.

    @ Neo-Prodigy

    One thing I've come to learn is that for all the flack women receive about being disconnected with their sexuality, men are just as bad, if not worse.

    I mean women have to contend with societal shaming of their bodies and sexuality, patriarchy and misogyny. What's men's excuse?


    You've just said what I should've, but much better.

    Men don't have an excuse, but they do have a cause: male privilege. Men don't have to be "perfect" - that's why we're seeing more movies and shows with "perfect" women on the arms of men who are anything but. And why see giving pleasure to women as a fun challenge when you can dismissively crack jokes about it, create a bunch of bullshit studies about it, and then avoid doing it altogether?

    It's like the POC/non-POC dynamic in that when women point out flaws or flat-out reject, straight men suddenly cry "oppression."

    They're not oppressed. They just haven't been held to high standards since the days of the Kama Sutra.

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  4. Hi there

    Been reading here for a while and would first like to commend you on a great and well thought out blog that is highly informative, entertaining and enlightening for a brother such as I. However I have to interject in what seems to be a misunderstanding of the male physiology, particularly with the penis. When a guy "busts a nut", so to speak, after about 3 minutes, do not take it as a careless and personal affront to intimacy. Sex for a man is an incredibly physically draining activity for a man as a large proportion of a his blood is going straight done, to keep him "straight". Little blood reaches the brain and heart. It is more draining than running a half marathon (at least that's what it feels like to me, and I do run marathons).

    Most are trying to "get off quickly" because it is extremely exhausting, physiologically, and I burst into laughter reading Neo-Prodigy expecting "3 hours" of lovemaking. To men that is known as a miracle.

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  5. I blame porn. It gives people unreasonable size expectations. I've only had one guy (black) who was afraid to show me the D. He would always go to the bathroom to put his condom on. To me he felt big which I think surprised him. I think he was normal sized.

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  6. @ Ash

    Neo isn't saying that's what he expects; 3 hours it what he does.

    I too have had had such experiences and there was nothing miraculous. Just patience & effort on the man's part, not to mention self-discipline.

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  7. My ex and I normally had 1 to 2 hrs sessions. In particular, there was a 2hr session where the first 30 minutes were devoted to making me come twice, then the next 90 minutes was him thrusting away like crazy. Yes, I timed it. In future I'll take a guy who can achieve the same, but in 30 to 45 minutes, and a hell of a lot less friction. 3 minutes is too damn short - I wouldn't bother with that, I have vibrators.

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  8. I'm not trying to put words in Neo's mouth, but I'm sure when he said 3 hours, he meant the entire experience, not just penetration. Just my $.02.

    "Dump-o-gram" needs a working definition, 'cause I'm sitting up here laughing myself into a damn aneurysm over it.

    Confidence is sexy. From what I've been told, men who have encountered women uncomfortable with their bodies and sexuality don't necessarily enjoy the experience and concentrate on getting theirs. Far as I'm concerned, the same rules apply to women.

    A man too afraid or too uncomfortable to throw the D can't pass 'GO' with me. Personally, I'd have a strong sense of his confidence way before he had to throw the D and me the P, because I'm picky about who I give my P to. Not every man can complete the application, and a sense of confidence is somewhere around question 5. Metaphorically speaking.

    Ah, wicked post!

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  9. @Amaya actually I meant the 3 hours for the penetration. ;-)

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  10. @Neo:

    My bad! Do your thang, baby! As Tupac said, I ain't mad at 'cha...

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  11. "I mean women have to contend with societal shaming of their bodies and sexuality, patriarchy and misogyny."

    Good point, and I think in the past 2 years all of that has really been weighing on me.

    At the risk of TMI, I have to say it's like a weird back-and-forth thing with me. I think about sex all the time now, but I hate beeing leered at/yelled at/made uncomfortable by men in public space. I battled that kind of harassment so much in high school, making me self conscious about my body, what I wore, etc. I'm also shy and introverted. Now I'm just out of college and feel "ready", my imagination is running wild, but I'm also at a loss, lol. I wish I had such a "consortium" when I was in college. Whenever such "size" discussions would pop up, I obviously couldn't comment, but I still had so many thoughts and questions.

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  12. I'm definitely the non relationship person. Sex is great it's amazing but I got other things going on in my life. But I haven't had... bad experiences or experiences with guys not wanting to show me their dicks. That's really strange.

    It's the opposite for me like all they want to do is "beat it up" without giving the proper warm up first. Which is fun sometimes but...it gets pretty boring after a while.

    And trust me, you don't want a man who takes all night to come. Eventually you start looking at the watch...getting tired. My first boyfriend was like this, especially while drunk(he drank a lot) I don't know what it is about alcohol and erections but I was on top of him for like four hours doing several different positions and he still couldn't finish.

    I was like "Look, I need to go to work in the morning and so do you."

    Yes... I was late for work/school or called in sick on account of this many times. I didn't want to be selfish and just leave after I had gotten mine, but sometimes I had to :(

    I think he was just being greedy though(I lost my virginity to him).

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  13. ShockedoutofLurking9/30/11, 2:59 PM

    @Neo & Ankh - I'm with Ash on this one, three hours of full penetrative stimulation?? Before I let my skepticism run wildly out of control, I'll politely ask: what exactly are you doing? The average time for men for uninterrupted thrusting till climax is between 1 and 10 minutes (5 being more likely). Like Ash said, this isn't because guys are trying to be selfish, get-it-done-and-over-with, being-disconnected-from-lovemaking, whatever - that's just biology. Now if you're doing some tantric ish...

    Also,

    "I mean women have to contend with societal shaming of their bodies and sexuality, patriarchy and misogyny."

    Uh, if you don't think men receive a ton of shaming about their sexuality growing up then I don't know where you grew up. "Men only want one thing, men are horndogs, men only think with their dicks, men will bang anything with a hole, if you let men have the milk they won't buy the cow, men are clumsy brutes who can't fully please women, men..." These should sound familiar. PE (premature ejaculation) is pretty common partly because many guys grow up masturbating in secret and trying to get off quickly before they are caught. That doesn't sound like a society that showers men with non-shaming ideals of their sexuality. But whatever, I'll just stop here before this post's length gets out of hand.

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  14. "Men only want one thing, men are horndogs, men only think with their dicks, men will bang anything with a hole, if you let men have the milk they won't buy the cow, men are clumsy brutes who can't fully please women, men..."

    And if most men weren't 1) coming up with these in the first place, and 2) rushing to support and justify these, they would've been over with a long time ago.

    PE (premature ejaculation) is pretty common partly because many guys grow up masturbating in secret and trying to get off quickly before they are caught.

    And when you (should be) a self-sufficient adult male living in your own home with locks on the doors and all the time you need/want in the shower, on the couch, or in bed...what about then?

    The reasons for PE are already known. The interest is in how to fix it, not excuse it.

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  15. @Amaya. Thanks boo! ;-)

    @Anon Lurkers.....

    I'm loving how these anon peeps keep questioning what I do in the bedroom. Like I don't get enough of that ish being a gay man from privileged straights.

    I'm also well aware of how my body works what makes it tick, what I'm attracted to and what gets me off, so I'm going to need folks to quit questioning, policing, mansplaining and/or straight talking. I'm not questioning your experiences or your history, how about paying me the same courtesy.

    Now to answer the question. It's simple. I pride myself on being an alpha male. That means striving to be the best in everything that's important to me. Career, writing, art, intellect, physicality, and of course sex.

    I love sex. I have a high sex drive. A very high sex drive. I suspect much of that is in part to not drinking or smoking, at least for me anyway.

    On top of that, I work out and try to get my cardiovascular on point. My motto to sex is that if you're not enjoying it, then something's wrong.

    The trick is delayed gratification. It's watching your breathing, your pacing and enjoying the ride (pun intended) not the destination. When you're with two athletic men, you can switch positions and do some Greco-Roman gymnastic repositioning without stopping. Watch a gay porn to see how we get down.

    Speaking of porn, you read that to learn about other research and techniques. I also hit the gym and run about two miles. And you'll be amazed at your cardiovascular strength.

    Also, sex is mental. It's about the conquest and being conquered. It's not just physical. So if I'm living out a fantasy of fucking or having my brains fucked out by a beautiful muscular blond, you better damn well know I'm going to make that last as long as possible.

    "And when you (should be) a self-sufficient adult male living in your own home with locks on doors and all the time you need/want in the shower on the couch or in the bed...what about then?"

    THANK YOU!!!!!!

    Let me make something clear. When it comes to sex/jerking off, there's no power on this Earth that will stop men from getting laid/getting off. If they REALLY want to improve their sex game, THEY WILL.

    I'm not ashamed of sex. I think it's one of the greatest gifts God(ess)(s) has given us and it's definitely an activity I plan to continue to engage in frequently throughout my lifetime. Real men are secure in themselves. Alpha men aren't intimidated by powerful and/or very sexual women. They celebrate them. Male or female, if I'm going to be intimate with someone, then that means I at least care enough about them to make sure they have the ride of their life.

    It's not impossible. When news broke about Sting's tantric sex, I knew what he was talking about. it's about breathing, pacing. I was more shocked that men didn't practice this but as Ankh said, mofos want to make excuses than step up and the comments on here prove her point.

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  16. @ Neo
    I cosign everything.

    LOL seriously there are men out there who can hold it down. They are hard to find but they are out there.

    And men can get their sexual game in check but you have to be blunt with them. Sometimes if they're deluded and selfish they won't. But if you just tell and better yet show what you want most will try at least to do it. Or...maybe that's just been my experience I don't know.

    I briefly dated a guy who was a terrible kisser. And I tried to tell him why he was bad but it just went in one ear and out the other.

    Him: "You don't like kissing?"
    Me:" I do like kissing just...not like that."

    After several attempts I just gave up. I excused myself to go to the bathroom and upon leaving I said " Oh my goodness, I just started my period so...I should probably go."

    And then I blocked his number. I love cell phone blocking features, indispensable in this day and age.

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  17. @ Student of the World:

    Glad I'm not the only one who gets tired. XP

    With my ex sex averaged about 45 min to an hour. It would go longer if he was trying to make me come. First couple of times he might come faster than I expected, but it's not a big deal. I figure in the beginning guys are excited and they need to build sexual stamina with the partner they're with. I think women are the same b/c I know it took me a while to become comfortable with sex and figure out some of the things that I liked.

    But after a while I just crazed more.

    If my guy was tired he'd just take a break and then keep going. Or we would use a different position like me being on top.

    Of course it doesn't help that we're fucking in the middle of the night. So yeah, sometimes people are literally too tired for sex.

    Here's something I found on sex before sports which I think supports Neo's belief that sex is mental: http://www.mrscienceshow.com/2007/08/sex-before-sport.html

    I guess it depends on your goal. Personally if I have time and no other obligations I want sex to last at least 30 min. And that isn't impossible.

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  18. ShockedoutofLurking10/1/11, 12:48 AM

    @Ankh and Neo - holy crap y'all...

    @Ankh -

    "And when you (should be) a self-sufficient adult male living in your own home with locks on doors and all the time you need/want in the shower on the couch or in the bed...what about then?"

    I was assuming (apparently wrongly) that you two were referring to pre-adult conditioning that affects adult-level subconscious attitudes towards sex. Since you're not (i guess?) then doesn't your reply apply to women as well? which makes what you originally said about women (their social conditioning/pressure) moot? If not, consider this poster confused.

    I just left the rest of what you wrote alone because you did not read what I wrote (*growing up* was a key phrase) and then put words in my mouth (I'm making excuses now?)

    @Neo -

    "I'm loving how these anon peeps keep questioning what I do in the bedroom. Like I don't get enough of that ish being a gay man from privileged straights...I'm not questioning your experiences or your history, how about paying me the same courtesy."

    My question had nada to do with your orientation and neither was i straight shaming you or something (how did you get that out of my post?). I'll go ahead and apologize anyway. My entire question was based on the saying "Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence" You said you go full penetrative stimulation for 3 hours (and I took that (wrongly) as 10/10 stimulation/pleasure on the biological response side of things for 3 hours). But then you write:

    "The trick is delayed gratification. It's watching your breathing, your pacing and enjoying the ride (pun intended) not the destination."

    Which quickly cleared up my temporary state of shock (key word being "pacing"). A matter of semantics. I misinterpreted what you wrote earlier because of the wording. No hate and not trying to put you down or anything. Kinda disappointed though, I thought you were referring to some sex-god technique you have up your sleeve ;) I've already exposed myself to all the sex-techniques for guys there is - there is the internet after all. Hence my skepticism based on my wrong assumption.

    "...mofos want to make excuses than step up and the comments on here prove her point. "

    If that is aimed at me, I would say that you read a bit too much into my post. Let me just make clear here that I was not making excuses, I was responding to something that you didn't mean. Really that simple. I'll just let the rest of your post (alpha males and all that) go cuz I have no clue why you wrote all that in response to me (or you didn't?). Thanks for your reply.

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  19. @ Student of the World:

    Yeah, bad kisser is a deal breaker for me. If you can't even get that right we have no future. Also, men with very bony figures, it's just uncomfortable having them on top of me. Can't do it.

    It's funny that guys think you don't like something just b/c you don't do it with them. Most of the time it's just b/c they're not good at it or they do it wrong. It's like they can't take any constructive criticism.

    @ Neo:

    Feel you. People gotta stop questioning you and how you get down. Heteros are always so paranoid about gay sex . . . wanting to know what "those people" do in the bedroom. Reminds me of the video on Ugandan Evangelicals. They are so curious about gay sex it's weird. It aint any of our business.

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  20. I was assuming (apparently wrongly) that you two were referring to pre-adult conditioning that affects adult-level subconscious attitudes towards sex. Since you're not (i guess?) then doesn't your reply apply to women as well? which makes what you originally said about women (their social conditioning/pressure) moot? If not, consider this poster confused.

    Then let me help you get back on track. The point of this entire thread is female dissatisfaction in the sack and the excuses straight men come up with (not to mention the cries of being the oppressed ones), rather than fixing the problem.

    And for the record, this is a patriarchal society. Women get it worse than you do in terms of body-shaming (don't be a slut, lose some weight, lighten your skin, straighten your hair, go to a tanning salon, get some collagen shots, get some breast implants, etc.) and we're continually rendered either useless, fetishized, or invisible/forgettable in films.

    Men, on the other hand, are playing all the strong roles, are allowed to grow old, gain weight, and be with whomever they please, and still be viewed positively. You're likely to see a male philanderer or a woman being brutally raped on TV (think Tudors and Spartacus), and male viewers will nod cheerily and call that entertainment.

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  21. jellybean1410/1/11, 5:51 AM

    Oh my God!!! I've been longing for you to post on sex!!! Ankh and Neo I totally cosign on all you've said. I've noticed that most guys are only interested in using your vajayjay to masturbate. Women can only expect a caring responsive partner if the man is in love with them OR if they are like Neo, a perfectionist in everything they do. I am totally the same, always bring the A game otherwise what is the point? Sex is a creative expressive experience you share and create with someone - stranger or lover. Bad kissers are the worst and is a cue to end the encounter. However men who cannot kiss and can't take simple subtle direction are worse, I expect to be correctly nudged if something i'm doing doesn't qutie work. You have to tailor your lovemaking to the person!

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  22. ShockedoutofLurking10/1/11, 12:18 PM

    @Ankh-

    "...The point of this entire thread is female dissatisfaction in the sack and the excuses straight men come up with (not to mention the cries of being the oppressed ones), rather than fixing the problem...And for the record, this is a patriarchal society. Women get it worse than you do..."

    Aha! The ol' "suck it up, shut up and be a MAN!" routine. That's what I thought was going down. Must've been my superior manly intuition that tipped me off, heh.

    "Men, on the other hand, are playing all the strong roles..."

    Y'know, this line just begs to be dissected for all its layered assumptions but that is a LONG discussion, and being full of man-scuses, I'll just pass on that for now :P.

    Anyway, all ridiculousness aside, I've been digging your blog for awhile and enjoy the vibe you and the type of posters you attract got going (+1 or a couple 1000 for what you're doing with middle child press). Keep doin your thing. Returning to lurking now...

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  23. @ jellybean14

    I've noticed that most guys are only interested in using your vajayjay to masturbate.

    Very well-stated. Completely on point.

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  24. @Shockedoutlurking:

    And society conditions women to be ashamed of their sexuality, PoCs to hate themselves, and queers to be ashamed of who they are. Believe it or not many of us, even as teens, take ownership of our minds and our bodies and do the work to overcome said conditioning. So straight men, who have more privilege than most, get no sympathy from me. Because any pressures they are facing, trust that it's infinitely worse for women and LGBTQs.

    And as far as men having it just as bad as women when it comes to sex, yeah um let me throw out a few examples: James Bond, Cassanova, male rock stars, rappers, Frank Sinatra, Sammy Davis Jr. the Ratpack, Hugh Hefner: all of them are praised and idolized for getting the ladies.

    We live in a society that still can't find a cure for the common cold but we can damn sure create a blue pill that makes an 80 year old man rock hard, yeah patriarchy.

    As a teen, when I discovered masturbation and porn, one activity I learned was self discipline and delayed gratification. In other words, get yourself to the point of coming and prolongue it as long as possible. You'd be surprised how long you can make yourself last after you've done it for years.

    And by the way, if you've searched all of the interwebs and you can't last longer than 10 minutes, whereas people like Sting, myself and others can go for hours. Maybe you don't know as much as you think and maybe you still have some learning to do.

    And nobody put words into your mouth. You just got called out.

    "Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence"

    And that's my whole point. We're supposed to accept anything you say at face value. A straight male who I haven't seen around and I pretty much know the regulars here yet I'm supposed to provide evidence. And for gay folks who constantly deal daily with their sexuality being questioned/demeaned/or attacked understand that's triggering and harmful.

    Now I'm sure you didn't intend it that way, I really don't. But I state it all the same to be aware of what privilege you have and why a gay person is going to give you the side eye when you question their sexuality because we live in a society where LGBTQs have to defend and apologize for their sexuality every fucking day.

    Back to men who can fuck or get fucked for hours:

    1. It's not that extraordinary a claim.
    2. Ankhesen already backed me up and stated that it's not that difficult as she's had similar experiences.
    3. I already gave evidence in my original comment about research and learning techniques.
    4. What the hell kinda evidence do you need? Do you need a video or something. I'll be happy to make one. Find me a hot and horny James Marsden, Robert Gant, Sean Maher, Trevor Donovan, Harry Shum Jr. or Allen Clippinger type and I'll be more than to provide a 3-6 hour demonstration. And then you'll also find out why Neo garnered the nickname Ripper while living in the ATL.

    Furthermore there's nothing wrong with men who have premature ejaculation or have sexual disfunction. But part of being a man is taking ownership of it. If you're in a relationship or if you're having sex and the other partner isn't getting what they need, the thing NOT TO DO is bitch about how hard it is for men (like women ain't going through shit). The thing for men to do is man up, acknowledge the problem, fix the problem.

    Or don't.

    But if men can't be bothered to address an issue that's affecting others (such as lousy sex with a partner), then don't waste women or other men's time.

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  25. @Neo: I FUCKING LOVE YOU, MAN!!! Keep that shit real! Tell the truth and shame the devil! I'm all about the research!!!

    Ankh, great post (if I've not already given you props). You know how I feel about sex, especially as it relates to women. I feel a post coming on...

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  26. @Neo

    Huh. I kinda figured this, but since you laid it out... you prefer whites, pretty much?

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  27. @Chell

    What does that have to do with this discussion? Aside from derailing it?

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  28. ShockedoutofLurking10/1/11, 10:14 PM

    @Neo - yo, who are you responding to? You've assumed so much and read so much into literally nothing that you've now reeled me back into a state of shock.

    "So straight men, who have more privilege than most, get no sympathy from me...And as far as men having it just as bad as women when it comes to sex"

    1) I never asked for sympathy and 2) I never said men had it as bad, I DID make the point that male sexuality is not shame-free in this society.

    "And by the way, if you've searched all of the interwebs and you can't last longer than 10 minutes..."

    I never said this either and neither was I talking personally. I was referring to the biological reality that if you do not control your pacing and breath (I mentioned the exception of tantra or tantra-influenced practices in my very first post,geez man), straight stimulation of the male genitalia WILL result in a climax in less than 10 minutes (and usually half that time) ON AVERAGE.

    "We're supposed to accept anything you say at face value. A straight male..."

    Never indicated my orientation but this is the 2nd time you've assumed you know what it is.

    "and for gay folks who constantly deal daily with their sexuality being questioned/demeaned/or attacked...Now I'm sure you didn't intend it that way, I really don't...we live in a society where LGBTQs have to defend and apologize for their sexuality every fucking day.

    Man, I literally have NO IDEA where you're getting this from AT ALL. In no way in any of my posts have I remotely demeaned any kind of sexual orientation or lifestyle.

    "What the hell kinda evidence do you need?"

    I didn't ask for any more evidence. I thought I cleared up all the misunderstanding in my 2nd reply.

    "You just got called out."

    Really? Where? The land of not reading other people's posts? *smh* I really have no words. Are there some ghost posts under my name that you are seeing and responding to? Cuz dude, you lost me a LONG time ago.

    @Ankh - nah, not yet. When/if I plan to get involved on a more regular basis I'll do that. Thanks for the invite anyway though.

    ReplyDelete
  29. ***blog moderation***

    Children, let's move away from each other's throats and get back on topic.

    If the topic bores you, kindly lurk this one out.

    ReplyDelete
  30. @Shockedoutoflurking,

    You you don't get to get upset.

    "Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence"

    Did you not originally write this? Thought so.

    "I didn't ask for any more evidence."

    That's my point. You shouldn't have been asking for any in the first place. Especially when explanations had already been given by myself and Ankhesen.

    Just as you've repeatedly made excuses about the poor oppressed menz, and you've been called on it, again and again and again by Ankhesen, myself and others.

    I explained that very carefully why your comments were problematic. Go back and reread again. Furthermore, I know you're straight because any queer person would know why having their sexuality policed/questioned is 12 shades of fucked up and any LGBTQ will tell you that being queer IS NOT A LIFESTYLE!

    If you don't understand where this is all coming from, then go read the comment threads again very slowly and very carefully.

    Case in point:

    "2) I never said men had it as bad"

    Oh but you did:

    "Uh, if you don't think men receive a ton of shaming about their sexuality growing up then I don't know where you grew up. "Men only want one thing, men are horndogs, men only think with their dicks, men will bang anything with a hole, if you let men have the milk they won't buy the cow, men are clumsy brutes who can't fully please women, men..." These should sound familiar. PE (premature ejaculation) is pretty common partly because many guys grow up masturbating in secret and trying to get off quickly before they are caught. That doesn't sound like a society that showers men with non-shaming ideals of their sexuality. "

    "I never said this either and neither was I talking personally."

    But you did:

    " I've already exposed myself to all the sex-techniques for guys there is - there is the internet after all. "

    So if you've exposed yourself to all of the techniques, then my "extraordinary claims" should not have required questioning or evidence.

    And you did say that men on average can't last more than 10 minutes. So if that doesn't pertain to you personally and you can go for hours, then why are you arguing?

    "Man, I literally have NO IDEA where you're getting this from AT ALL. In no way in any of my posts have I remotely demeaned any kind of sexual orientation or lifestyle. "

    If you're so shocked and have no words, then do what you said you were going to do ages ago and return to lurking and not commenting, since you can't keep up with the discussion and stop wasting everyone's time.

    Because there is too much pearl clutching going on here.

    ReplyDelete
  31. ShockedoutofLurking10/1/11, 10:51 PM

    "...kindly lurk this one out."

    Will do. Sorry for the trouble.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Oh my I read this and then I watched an episode of Louie where he goes to his doctor played by Ricky Gervais and his doctor tells him he has the ugliest dick he's ever seen. He really goes in on him. I felt bad for the poor bastard.

    ReplyDelete

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