I'm dead too.
DUDE!I'm with sista-gurl in that vignette! What's with WW and the whole faux-friendliness that they impose upon you to manipulate a response out of you?! Naw, bitch. WE AIN'T FRIENDS!I don't care if you spill your guts to me totes uninvited and unwanted, doesn't mean I'm obligated to do the same with you and oh, WE AIN'T FRIENDS because you told me all your stank business!Don't touch me without permission. I am not a touchy-feely person. The only person I feel okay with touching with impunity is my husband. And I accept hugs from friends I've known for YEARS and that's a recent development. So just because we had a nice chat, doesn't mean you're gonna get a hug. And don't try to impose one on me!Don't try to touch any other part of my anatomy either, and that includes my hair and my ass! I can't tell you how many WW decided to try to playfully touch my butt. Naw, bitch. The only person who gets to touch my ass is my husband cuz I'm FUCKING him. Not you!Just because we had a meeting in the ladies room, doesn't make us friends. You cannot force me to be your friend no matter what you do or how syrupy, insincerely sweet you are to me. WE AIN'T FRIENDS!Not only do WW want insta-friendships, they want them on the cheap. They don't want to do much to earn a friendship, especially from BW. They think paying attention to us should make us cream our panties so that we'd follow them around like puppies. Naw, heffa. WE AIN'T FRIENDS!
I think the husband's reaction is the best part.
This was on my tumblr too I could not stop laughing!
@WitchsistahDon't touch me without permission. I am not a touchy-feely person. And I accept hugs from friends I've known for YEARS and that's a recent development. So just because we had a nice chat, doesn't mean you're gonna get a hug. And don't try to impose one on me!-It is like you were living my life a month ago. A "friend" of mine was demanding hugs from me and when I wouldn't respond, give her a hug, she would act like I'm some perpetual offender. This is my body, if I don't want someone touching me then I don't want someone touching me. Trying to force it only makes me more resistant.Like you Witchsistah, I only hug family members and friends I have known for years. That is because the relationship has grown where touching and words of affection become natural. I also had a supervisor that felt the need to tell people she loved them. She would explain she loves everyone because they are human. To me that cheapens the word and reduces the meaning. If that is what you like to do then do so. It just made me feel awkward like I should say it back. I barely know you and any words of love from me would not be genuine, therein unfair to the receiver.
If life has taught me anything, it's that white women don't deserve friends. They all pull shit like this.I don't think they're capable of having real friendships. As long as Western "culture" keeps telling them that they inherently deserve love and happiness (which whether they know it or not is always at the expense of POC, directly or indirectly) by virtue of their White existence, and that their poor feelings are worth defending at any cost when they're shown otherwise, White women will always be superficial, manipulative bitches.I even doubt WW can be real friends with other WW, because the base of their relationship will always be built on white supremacy. But then again, I can't get inside their heads (not that I'd ever want to).
Forget laying hands on someone. You making a sudden movement forward like that and getting in someone's personal space is liable to get you knocked the fuck out.
Just an FYI...that's not her husband. She plays Traci Morgan's wife on the show. The guy next to her plays Traci's bodyguard. Her whole character on that show is pretty funny and there are other things that they capture that are similar.
Dead. Cremated. Ashes put in an urn and spread out into the sea.
*Segways off a cliff and dies*Bwahahahahaha!!!!
as a white woman, i have since adulthood found it hard to make friends with black women. in elementary school it wasn't a problem, perhaps because those were more innocent times. as a teenager it wasn't a problem, either, because i lived in a group home and i had black girls as roommates/housemates, and when you live together as family with someone, friendships emerge easily and naturally and deeply. the friendships of those teen years (with people of various "races") were among the most intense of my life. however, as a teen in school i felt plenty of tension with black girls, and was unable to make friends outside the group home. in adulthood it's been the same thing. i get the sense that they usually just aren't interested, either indifferent to my friendship or downright hostile to it or somewhere in between. i am aware that black people have been given reason to mistrust white people, and so when trying to make friends with a black woman i will try to be extra friendly, to try to help reduce some of that mistrust towards me. i want her to know i'm an alright person. this is probably why some of you (above) have commented that white women seem fake or superficially sweet... maybe they are trying to do the same thing as me. anyways, i'm wondering for those of you who commented above that you are annoyed with this type of behavior from white women, would you ever be friends with white women? or would you avoid such friendships, period? and if you are willing to be friends with white women, what advice would you give for how white women should approach you for friendship? obviously not asking you to speak for all black women, just yourselves! thanks :) lastly i wanted to respond to this:"I don't think they're capable of having real friendships. As long as Western "culture" keeps telling them that they inherently deserve love and happiness (which whether they know it or not is always at the expense of POC, directly or indirectly) by virtue of their White existence, and that their poor feelings are worth defending at any cost when they're shown otherwise, White women will always be superficial, manipulative bitches."while i agree that our culture does indoctrinate us with white supremacy, which can lead to varying levels of arrogance depending on the extent to which these messages take root, let's not forget that white people (like all people) receive various messages which may counteract this arrogance. for example, someone raised in an abusive family might receive the message that they're worthless, that their feelings don't count for shit, that they don't deserve respect, etc. or, for an opposite source achieving the same result, someone raised in a healthy family environment would get the message that people are equal, that their feelings are important but no more important than anyone elses, that everyone deserves respect, etc. not to say these experiences would make someone 100% free from absorbing white supremacy, but it could in various cases counter-act it and decrease it, and motivate them to be committed to combating racism both in society and personally/within. it could also make them humble and/or respectful in their interactions with others, including people of color.
In reference to the video:As a man its been my experience that when a white person lays hands on a non-white person, the gesture might be interpreted as an act of control. “Hey… calm down… take it easy. We know how emotional you people tend to get, so chill….” Whites are personable people and one way in which they display affection is by means of touch. “Come here ya big lug!” A white man might place his hands around the neck of his partner to show affection; while patting the shoulder in an affirming motion. “Right this way,” (placing the hands around the waist or upper arm.) “Come with me,” is usually accompanied by the grabbing of the upper arm, as a means of control. Should whites become angry, these same gestures can be applied as a method of restraint before an arrest. In every case the white person has no qualms about invading the personal space of others; especially non-whites. Ostensibly, whites have been putting their hands on us, while invading our personal spaces since they first put shackles on us. Culturally Blacks do not like to be touched by whites, no matter how amiable they might appear to be. One thing to be mindful of was that you never got up in a black person’s face; or touched a black person without permission. Never! That’s if you didn’t want to get hit. What To Do said...i am aware that black people have been given reason to mistrust white people, and so when trying to make friends with a black woman i will try to be extra friendly, to try to help reduce some of that mistrust towards me. i want her to know i'm an alright person. this is probably why some of you (above) have commented that white women seem fake or superficially sweet... maybe they are trying to do the same thing as me.White people have been misrepresenting themselves for centuries. You come as friend and try to convince us you only have our best interests at heart, and then you screw us and play us against each other. By means of fraud and depiction; you betray the trust non-whites place in you. We see it in politics; in the media-- in your business practices. You barely trust each other and you’re at a loss to understand why we take what you say with a grain of salt? Just be mindful, your overly sweet voice and demeanor could be viewed as a disingenuous attempt at disarming a non-white person. Very patronizing in non-white eyes. Further, your laying-on-of-hands could be viewed as an added offense. For we above all people know exactly what your skin represents even if you don’t. Mutual respect above all else; for we deserve nothing less. Most whites tend to view themselves as Individuals; so please view us in that same context. And for God’s sake- please work on your empathy. For history/experience teaches us that you only show true empathy for your own. Without empathy (assigning the same value to us as you do for fellow whites) this whole conversation is a moot point. As soon as I wake up in the morning I’m hit in the face with white supremacy. From the whites on my cornflake box, to the whites who feed me the news. To the white people on the billboards telling me to smoke and drink more. I’m confronted by whiteness almost every minute of my day. I can filter out much of it because I’m a grown man now and culturally self-aware. But black children have no such defenses; hence their exposure to white hegemony can be devastating to the self. Something you’ll never truly understand as one who benefits from such privilege. So if you truly want to get to know us, tread carefully. Friendships just happen. They can’t be forced by white privilege and good intentions.
Thanks for the advice and insights. I will avoid being overly sweet. But even still, I guess there's really not much I can do to make friendships with Black women any easier. This fuckedupedness of this world gets in the way and there's no avoiding that. It bothers me that everytime I go out with friends we are a large group of all white people, like a visual reminder of how fucked up everything is, but I'm not sure if anyone else notices or cares, if they do we don't discuss it with each other. Maybe we're ashamed. It's sad to even write it "out loud" here. :( ... I will be happy when white supremacy dies. I believe it will happen one day. Though it will be long after we pass away. I don't think it can completely happen until capitalism falls, too. Inheritance of wealth is one of the most powerful and invisible forms of structural racism / white privilege. Let's all work continuously for revolution so better days can come for future generations. It's a tragedy that racism creates these barriers between humanity all being friends. But this is one of the relatively lesser tragedies amongst the many casualties of racism. Best Wishes to all of you treading through the dangerous waters of this anti-black, generally hostile world, and Peace be with you'all.
What To Do said...But even still, I guess there's really not much I can do to make friendships with Black women any easier.I’m confused. Are you looking to befriend black women so as to convince yourself you’re not racist? Like George Costanza, looking to impress his black boss by bragging on how many black friends he had? There are interracial churches and charities; clubs and parks- and many public venues that conveniently place you in proximity with non-white women. If you’re truly a nice person, other people (both white and black) will be drawn to you; hence friendships with any woman of any race would come as natural to you as with any other individual. However, non-whites are more perceptive than you give them credit for. Most would discern (as in Costanzo’s case) whether your motives were genuine, or centered out of some personal insecurity/guilt. What To Do said...It's a tragedy that racism creates these barriers between humanity all being friends.Humans do. Insecurity… fear and power are motivators yes, but it’s no excuse. All have been endowed with freedom of choice. What To Do said...It bothers me that everytime I go out with friends we are a large group of all white people, like a visual reminder of how fucked up everything is, but I'm not sure if anyone else notices or cares, if they do we don't discuss it with each other. Maybe we're ashamed.But not enough to change your behavior; or stray from your comfort zone. If you hang with all white friends it’s simply because you choose to. Racism can be described as, the imposition of one race upon another. Its thinking that you’re chosen by providence to lead, rather than to walk, side by side and having the power to see it through. (Group-think tends to have that affect) It’s the erroneous belief that your skin pigment somehow exempts you from original sin. That comparable people are somehow irreproachable; or that even your fecal matter reeks of roses. Ignorant White men are mainly to blame yes, but white women are just as culpable through osmosis. Non-whites will sing Kumbaya in unison when whites genuinely show change. Moreover, I truly believe it takes God to do that. Because most whites lack the strength needed to do it themselves. Whites must repent from the Sins of racism. God will do the rest. Granted, living all-white neighborhoods, with all-white schools and churches; having friends who look and act just like you probably would affect your relationship with non-whites to a degree. But it’s no excuse. It’s all up to you, not us. You must be willing to make the first move and put the work in. It’s not our responsibility to carry you through this journey. For you are no better and merit no higher standing in non-white eyes. Your fears of being rejected by white friends (should you embrace color) is just that; a fear. If you truly want to grow as a person you must embrace that fear in order to move on. The eventual loss of so-called friends is inevitable, (methinks they weren’t your friends in the first place) but not fatal. Ask yourself, what (and who) am I truly willing to give up to be a better person? Hope I didn't offend.
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