"If I Must Suffer, So Must Everyone Else"
|Um...they look platonic, |
if you catch my drift.
This was the subject line of an email Neo-Prodigy just sent me, along with the link to the article "An Interracial Fix for Black Marriage" where once again the bloated statistics push for Black women to start marrying more white men. There's only a brief mention of non-white, non-black men in this article (so brief I missed it the first time).
I feel I need to clear the air on my thoughts on BW/WM, not just in film, but in regular life.
I am not against BW/WM. If a white guy is
I am, however, highly skeptical of America's sudden BW/WM push, both in media and in real life, because I think it comes about for a reason as unsurprising and as old as dirt: control. I feel much of this traces its roots back to control. When I read articles like these, and listen to white defenses of them, it's a lot like listening to the Human Race Derail, to which I react much like Brotha Wolf did. In other words, I find it odd that a group of men who have abused Black women literally for centuries all of a sudden - and it's sure as hell sudden - want to marry us, settle down with us, and raise kids together in a house with a white picket fence. And before they start chanting "so long ago", let's just go ahead and kill that excuse right the hell now. The white male disrespect and devaluation of Black women in the West is not old news; it's a current event. Furthermore, those of us who live today owe those who went before us, suffering voicelessly for centuries, a duty to never just "leave the past in the past."
So just let the excuses go right now before we even continue.
But back to the main issue: I believe this is about control. Like Paul Mooney said about reading "the white book", Black success was not a chapter. Blacks weren't supposed to succeed in the West. Black women certainly weren't supposed to thrive the way we've begun to, and whenever Black people do something whites have not intended us to do, the white reaction is never good or, at least, not what it appears to be.
Over on the Narrative, we refer to the BW/WM push as "the preemptive strike", because unlike the BW/AM movement it preaches accepting black female beauty (i.e., enjoying our bodies) without preaching the proper defense, respect, and understanding of Black women. That's why you can find a Blasian video in which a very young Asian man defends his respect and admiration of Black women, but in a BW/WM video, a white husband and father clumsily gives excuses as to why he doesn't lay into a racist white woman talking smack about his wife. Or why when Satoshi Kanazawa opens his yap, Asian bloggers promptly come out swinging, but when Halle Berry's ex calls her a nigger, the white male voice is patently silent.
In other words, Asian men seem more willing to confront racism leveled against Black women, while white men are more likely to simply ask us to ignore it.
It's no surprise, of course; white men have never had to defend, respect, or understand us before, so they don't know how to and see no real incentive to start learning now...which is precisely the reason why so few black women marry white men.
So instead of pulling a Tyler Perry and lecturing Black women on what we need to do, more articles need to focus on lecturing white men on what they need to do better where BW/WM is concerned, otherwise that marriage trend is going to ultimately flop like Airbender. In other words, stop putting the burden on us; if white guys really want us this badly, they're going to have to pursue, defend, respect, and understand us - end of story.
Either way, no skin off our nose.