Josh Hartnett is Not Worthy
I understand some of you may be Josh Hartnett fans. I half-expect Neo-Prodigy to send me an email after this with "WTF????" in the subject line.
Thing is, I was never able to jump on the fanwagon (lil sis did, though). I don't think he's attractive. His voice and speech pattern are irritating and juvenile, as though his mouth and throat are not yet fully developed. When it comes to his acting style, watching a Josh Hartnett movie is like ordering bland with a side of bland. And though Hartnett himself has experience with BW/WM, August (2008) is the failiest fail in Failonia.
August is one of those cringe-worthy films we've all seen before. Alpha White Male is a self-deluded prick (complete with a gun tattoo on his torso) who does whatever he wants to whomever he wants. He smacks his brother and business partner upside the head, and talks shit to literally everyone, including the people trying to hire him. Every woman he meets is nothing but a nameless, coke-snorting sperm depository. Hell, the movie even starts out with him being emo in a bathroom with a bony blonde. As if we really believe anything she does or says matters to the AWM.
The film, at first, proffers the idea that maybe the cure for his arrogance is being reunited with the black love he lost. In fact, he runs into her while on a "date" with one of his not-very-sober sperm depositories who looks like she's about to pass out right there in the restaurant. The AWM forgets he's supposed to be on a date and instead turns all of his attention all onto Naomie. He later even convinces her to come to his house for dinner where they affectionately catch up.
And after being lured into a false sense of security, this bullshit right here happens.
For those of you lighting your cigarettes and pressing rewind, pay close attention to the AWM's facial expression at the end. Survey says? Sperm depository!!!!
No wonder this film tanked (along with several other problems, of course). While we do see the AWM cut back down to the size in the end, it's still troubling to see a black woman in a film like this. I don't like the white emo movie scene, where the main character's problems are patently manufactured. I loathe how women in these films are always so damn disposable, whether they're the AWM's mother, girlfriend, ex-girlfriend, sister, business partner, pilates instructor - whoever. Not to mention, the ego, looks, and sexual prowess of the AWM are always severely over-hyped ( I mean seriously, what was that? A few seconds?).
Films like these are bad enough on their own. But when a black woman is dragged into the mix, and basically used as some white boy's cum bucket, it tends to rub me extra raw.
Let me be clear: I'm also disappointed in Naomie Harris, because I'm a huge friggin' fan and she usually has very good taste in the roles. She was probably hoping that this movie would really rake in the dough, considering who the top billing actor was, but alas, it came and went...and rightfully so. I'm more disappointed in her than I am with Zoe Saldana and her upcoming film with Michael Vartan (*shudder*), because Harris is older, more experienced, and more established. She didn't need to do this film, or any like it.