Behold the Vomitacious John Carter (2012)

(Thanks, Doodling!)

"John Carter of Mars is inexplicably transported to the mysterious and exotic planet Mars, and becomes embroiled in a conflict of epic proportions and discovers that the survival of the planet and its people rests in his hands."

Sound familiar, anyone?


"Something new can come into this world?" Seriously? *rubs temples* What is even remotely "new" about this scenario?

May the gods let this movie flop.  Like, horribly.

Comments

  1. In the vein of "Avatar" and its many iterations...and yeah, it'll flop. We've seen this before, too many times. I for one am sick of it. And no, I didn't bother watching the trailer. This, too, is a movie that will pass me by.

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  2. I can't believe they even bothered making this trash.

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  3. It's movies like this and the following
    Push
    I'm Number Four
    Jumper
    Tower Prep.

    I getting tired of movies with a White Male as the lead. Make something original hollywood

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  4. They sure are going H.A.M. with this plot device lately.

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  5. I'm boycotting this piece of junk. Enough with the Mighty Whitey already, jeez.

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  6. it you guys if white people don' save us in the movies who will? LOL Yeah looks like shit.

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  7. Smh. As if white dudes really need more ego masturbation fuel.

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  8. Wasn't going to spend my money on this tired ass mess anyway.

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  9. AND I JUST SAVED A LOT OF MONEY ON MY CAR INSURANCE.


    And by car insurance I mean disposable entertainment income because Hollywood is hellbent on making me save my money.

    THANK YOU HOLLYWOOD!!!!

    At this rate, I'm gonna be BALLIN!!!!!

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  10. A Man called horse.
    Not sure how many of you are old enough to remember, but this movie comes to mind when seeing the trailer. Seems there's no place you can go, either in the deepest jungles or the furthest reaches of the cosmos where the white man hasn’t touched somehow. It’s sickening to know that wherever we go, the white shadow is sure to dominate the narrative. The white man’s burden can be heavy at times.

    “Sometimes the foreign societies are shown to be realistic, three-dimensional and actually rather pleasant places to live. Indeed, sometimes the native peoples are shown to be ''better'' in some way than European society and the white man begins to despise his old home. In modern-day fiction, sometimes the Mighty Whitey is there to lead or inspire the Noble Savages or bring some aspect of modern technology or knowledge to their aid, something they presumably could not do before he showed up.”

    The Time Machine comes to mind. As you can see, man has evolved into a race of nothing but blond humans. Plenty of damsels to save too. Again destiny has entrusted the white hero with the burden of putting humanity back on its feet.

    Javan Nelums said...
    I getting tired of movies with a White Male as the lead. Make something original Hollywood.

    I so agree… but the problem is the target audience isn’t tired at all. Not in the least. To the whites who view it, to them it is original. They’ll flock to see it because in it, they see the nobility in themselves. Now make the same movie with the same scenario and replace the white lead with a black man and whites would have a fit. “It’s not believable,” they say. “It’s not original,” they’ll charge. “I couldn’t connect with the protagonist; they’ll lament. “Something about him lacked authenticity,” they’ll whine.

    Hell, make one movie where the hero is black- the supporting players are POC and the lone token is white and again... whites would have a fit. The ‘Hero Scenario’ defines the greatest aspects of the white male. Sadly, he’s much too entrenched in his own importance to let that fantasy go. What he’s unable to fathom is why non-whites have a problem with it. It’s just a film for God’s sake.

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  11. LMAO! After reading the description about "exotic land". it automatically put it in the "bootleg" pile. Not wasting my money on this and i hope it flops like that dumbass green lantern!

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  12. @ M. Gibson:

    That's why none of the Asian (Hong Kong and Japan) film are brought here because of the fact some of it's movies show white people in a negative light.
    Example:
    Ip Man 2
    Wong Fei Hung
    and almost all of it's films. I was on youtube the other day looking at the trailer for Hariyama bridge: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AKZ8GfVeNWU
    see some of the replies on there it's horrible.

    So white people don't like it when other POC come into the picture that's why they have to white wash everthing;
    case in point:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nPhcJYo9XeU

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  13. Javan Nelums said...
    "So white people don't like it when other POC come into the picture that's why they have to white wash everything..."

    I think the reason the sitcom, Friends was so successful amongst young whites was because it reflected their own reality. There are places in the surrounding suburbs of my town where whites can go all day without ever coming in contact with a non-white. Consider the scope of such conditioning. Schools, neighborhoods- churches and social networks with nothing but your kind as far as the eye can see. After so much programming in the white-think mentality everything relevant to you is clothed in white skin.

    In Hollywood this would apply to casting directors, agents and producers; all conditioned by the same social construct. So in film they’re only replicating what they see around them. By the way, I couldn’t finish the whole clip as it made me nauseous. A few words came to mind as I viewed it though. Terms like Xenophobia- Diversity… Fetish, Appropriation and Exotic; just to name a few.

    Whites for the most part are simply comfortable around other whites. That’s a fact. Like-minded individuals who are more apt to share the same interests- tastes; and/or beliefs. With that in mind, wouldn’t popular entertainment follow the same inclination when most of the vehicles produced by Hollyweird are crafted by said whites? And because they view themselves as individuals, they’re utterly blind to their tendency to think alike. Whitewashing is simply par for the course. Relegate non-whites to the supporting parts and cast whites in role of protagonist; to better appeal to the white male ego/demographic.

    Their mouths would be agape if you called this movie racist. They don’t get it and I’m afraid they never will. Not as long as they control the narrative.

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