See, the thing about female sexuality is.....
That's why they encourage women to dress in revealing outfits. That's why they swear up and down they respect the women they're plying with liquor, even as they treat them like whores.
What men don't understand is that for a woman to take complete control of her sexuality, she has to do just that: take complete control. The physical alone is not enough to turn on, properly pleasure, and satisfy a woman. So when she takes complete control of her sexuality, it means she first has to accept a few things about herself.
First of all, she has to determine whether or not she's happy being a woman. If she is not, she may need to change that.
Secondly, if she is happy being a woman, she has to determine whether she's even sexual or not.
But let's say she is sexual. Does she like men? Does she like women? Does she like both? Whatever she likes (so long as it's not a child), she needs to accept it. She will not be happy until she does. She will not be fully satisfied until she embraces whatever she knows will satisfy her - friends, family, and church folk be damned.
Now, to get my point across, let's say the woman likes men. A heterosexual woman who decides to take full control of her sexuality is not going to be a loose woman. If anything, she's going to be pickier than ever. So if the woman wants a scholar, she's not settling for a jock. If she wants kids, she's not going to waste any time with any man who doesn't want kids or doesn't believe in monogamy/marriage. If she wants a gainfully employed man, the deadbeats will need not apply.
And if a man should somehow worm his way into her bed, there will be no "lying there" politely, trying not to yawn while the man above her tells himself he's actually doing something. The well of pity sex will dry up at once; her "good friends" and emo exes-in-mourning will just have to go without. There will be no forgiving poor performances because her lover has a pretty face, or makes good money, or has a body that makes all her friends jealous.
And if the woman herself has to go without, then woman in complete control of her sexuality will go without. She will go without until she gets what she actually wants. She will not let fear of being alone or her friends' attempts to share their dissatisfied misery trick her into settling and wasting her time with the wrong man.
Because there's no use in buying pudding if cheesecake is what will satisfy you. Go hard or go home.
Now, I'm not saying anything new, of course. Some male readers actually know this stuff. Why then, do they continue to encourage women to take complete control of their sexuality? For the same reason white people used to say they were going to vote for Colin Powell - it seems like the right thing to say.
It's polite. It's politically correct. It's "progressive." It's just the thing men are misguided enough to believe they can say to get a woman into bed.