Djimon Hounsou, Please Don't Play "Thulsa Doom"

He should be playing Osiris,
or Ra, or Horus, or Anubis,
for pygmy's sake.
Like I said, we will now get back to what we do best on this blog.

It has come to my attention that in the upcoming remake of Conan the Barbarian (which doesn't need remaking, thank you very much), Mr. Hounsou here has agreed to play the role originated by James Earl Jones: Thulsa friggin' Doom.

I'm not down with that, and before people start in on me, I'm not interested in hearing the usual, "He has a right to blah blah blah."  Not everything that's legalized is automatically a good thing.  Fuck, cigarettes are legal.  Y'all remember the times when the law was kosher with slavery and killin' Native Americans?

But I digress...black villains were a big issue when I was still a tiny person, and no, we haven't reached a point in American society where we can have a safe revival.  POC have been getting dealt one raw deal after the other in Hollywack this last decade and I'm not trying see us do a goddamn time warp to an age when that ish was even worse.

This move is going to suckReboots and remakes and retellings have not been received with thundering applause these days, if you feel me.  A lack of imagination and ambitious innovation has infested every corner and crack of Hollywack.  Not to mention the laziness; talentless, overly muscled men and random white bimbos filling up the screen (all touted as attractive when more than often, they're not)  amidst a sea of CGI do not a good movie make.

We need new shit.  For example, I'm glad people have taken an interest in Star Trek again, but the original was the worst choice to reboot.  One blogger from England described the whole white-boy-saving-the-galaxy storyline as outdated.  And that's exactly what some of these classics are - outdated.  This isn't to put down the immeasurable wealth of ideas which came before, and whatever social constraints writers were under during their various time periods.  This is to simply state that we're not under those constraints now, and along with our technological developments, we should be creating all new wondrous worlds and storylines, not rehashing old stuff and give it a shiny face lift.

Furthermore, some of these films/TV shows really don't need to be remade.  They just don't; when they are, modern filmmakers mooch off the accomplishments of filmmaking giants who came before.  Take Buffy, for example...I really didn't dig Sarah Michelle Gellar all that much, but for fuck's sake...that show does not need a damn reboot.  You want to bring back the 'verse?  Fine: give us a new Slayer.

Give us a new Star Trek crew, while you're at it; be creative and make them all Klingons.  Let's see what day to day life is like in the Empire.

Bring some African epics to life; let Djimon Hounsou play a god, as he damn well should (know what I'm sayin'? *smacks lips*).  Let N'Bushe Wright play a queen or goddess, as she damn well should.  Fuck...cast these two together.  Or show us the Chinese sailors who shipwrecked off the coast of East Africa, took Kenyan wives, and then blended their language culture with that of the Kenyans.

Give us some new shit already.  And while you're at it, don't cast my main man here as Thulsa friggin' Doom!!!

Comments

  1. I shouldn't tell you this, at least in detail, but I'm working on 15 complex stories featuring black superheroes and heroines against white villians. This was my response to the endless "white people save the day" crap they continuously shove down everyone's throats.

    How to present them to the world, and make money besides will be more challenging though. lol

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  2. @Blaque Ink: I LOOK FORWARD TO READING YOUR WORK!

    @K: I've been reading the Thulsa Doom comics which are connected to the rebooted movie which Hounsou is executive producer of. I don't know how much you know about them but they've been surprisingly good and in this version (and in other versions of comics/books), this Thulsa Doom is the anti-hero whose origins are not that different from Conan's. He's basically going to be forced to save the planet and this is a man who has lost his people and is the loner/reluctant champion.

    Rather than being the calculating villainous mastermind, he's the badass warrior/reluctant savior who will be fighting bigger, deadlier threats.It was my understanding that this is the Thulsa Doom version that the movie is gearing up to be and not the villainous James Earle Jones version.

    @Gods. Please let me be right about this.

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  3. Can we please have something new. When I heard about the possible Buffy remake I was like I wanted to scream I also wanted to smash my laptop when I heard Megan Fox could be the slayer. Why have a remake when the series was suppose to be a remake or whatever of the film?

    The whole white kids save the day ish is so played out.
    I mean Harry Potter, Twilight, Percy jackson, and Airbender. Come on.

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  4. Re: Previous comment.

    Wait a second. I just missed that.

    I thought Hounsou was supposed to be getting his own movie like Red Sonja (being played by Rose McGowan) as all three characters live in the same universe?

    WTF?

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  5. @ neo-prodigy

    They're just redoing the old one. Sorry.

    But don't worry. It'll sukc and not make any money.

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  6. I am not encouraged. I'm an avid fan of the movies, but the dreck that has been pouring out of Hollywood, remakes and all, has scared me away from the theater. No one wants to tell an original story (or is afraid to), and forget about telling a story like Conan that puts PoC in a positive light. The reboot is going to be shit.

    Btw, that pic of Djimon...thank the Lord! Living, breathing art...

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  7. I read a comment somewhere that Hollywood is no longer being run by people with an interest in making art; instead, it's number-crunching accountants who're too busy tweaking for demographics and trying to relive past glories than invest in new material - with great story telling and a HEART.

    As for Conan, I am unfamiliar with that title or the series so that alone wouldn't make me see it. I guess I'll get my POC story kicks off the internet...which I'm already doing.

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  8. As for Conan, I am unfamiliar with that title or the series

    You ain't missed much.

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  9. Neo,

    I honestly don't know where to take my ideas. For now, I'm making "blueprints".

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  10. @ Amaya

    Btw, that pic of Djimon...thank the Lord! Living, breathing art...

    *church voice* Well.

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  11. blaque ink....a black superhero comic is a GREAT idea; you'll make a fortune if you do it right. seriously.

    but do what typer perry did. create a world where there are NO WHITE FOLKS. or almost none. in his movies, its like a melanin bomb went off and left only POC. and the WP who do appear are either bumblers or bastards.

    i'm convinced thats what BP want to see. perry gave them that, and they paid him enough to buy that chateau you see in ' diary of a mad black woman.' tyler perry was selling out 12000 seat arenas FOR PLAYS. thats unheard of.

    so, don't make your villains WP...because after all, theyll have to be SUPER villains, right? make the dopey sidekick white...everyone else, OF COLOR-villains too.

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  12. ....Have any of you guys seen the previews for the new film adaptation of The Tempest, which has Hounsou as Caliban?

    They remade Prospero as a woman, but decided that the racist characterization of Caliban was okey-dokey.

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  13. @ randy

    Perry's success comes from clever marketing: he picked a very specific demographic and aimed to please them. He stated in an interview that deeply Christian black folks wanted films which spoke to their beliefs.

    Your conviction about what BP want to see is incorrect. We're a varied group with varied tastes which is why the industry fails miserably at accomodating us as a group.

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  14. Randy, I can not do what Tyler Perry because he and I are not the same. Plus, I really don't care for much of his work, but that's a topic for another day,

    With all due respect, don't tell me how I should fomulate the theme for MY ideas thinking your way is better in the name of making money. I know that I'm taking a huge risk with my ideas, and they may not even be materialized during my lifetime. That's why I'm saving them so one day, they will be.

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  15. Randy, I can not do what Tyler Perry because he and I are not the same. Plus, I really don't care for much of his work, but that's a topic for another day.

    WTF is this?!?!?!?! Don't you know that all Black folks think alike?

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  16. Sorry, but 'melanin bomb' had me in stitches. Either way, Blaque Ink? Please consider me one of those waiting impatiently for your work.

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  17. I hate remakes. They (almost) never work.

    That being said, I had no idea Thulsa Doom was black.

    As for the black (non-white) villains, to be honest, I don't remember many of them lately* (The last Airbender comes to mind, though) It would be refreshing to see a good, three dimensional non-white villain. Another important thing to note though, is who'd play the hero to this villain, and whether the villain is the only non-white person in the flick.

    * I'm referring to the SF/Fantasy genre, that often painfully lacks non-white characters.

    PS-And why wouldn't Djimon (or any other non-white actor) play an European god? (Greek, for example). Now, I admit I'd love to see that, as well as people's reactions to it.

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  18. My fantasy novel has only a few white people in it, and I've been told it's "forced" (in a way it's "unrealistic"). And I don't write about 5 century BC Norther Europe... It's fantasy! (Ok, fantasy modeled after US, but still)

    What I'm saying is, "some" people just can't accept POC as more than the sidekicks, or can't see whites as sidekicks in a story.

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  19. As for the black (non-white) villains, to be honest, I don't remember many of them lately

    I was referring to when I was a kid.

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  20. True, there seemed to be more black villains back then. Still, I had no idea Thulsa Doom was black. (And yes, I've seen the film numerous times and I consider him to be one of the scaries villains ever).

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  21. blaque; yes, i'm sorry if i sounded too peremptory...of course you must follow your own vision.

    it just astounds me tho HOW succesful perry has been. obviously, his main appeal is to xtians of color; but damn, there must be a LOT of church folks out there.(i loved in D of a M BW, how physical abuse of a helpless paralytic is apparantly perfectly ok w/christians...haha; but that jibes w/my observation that B culture is 'rougher' than is W culture in some ways.)

    but watching thhese movies, i just get a sense that BP are just SICK OF W FOLKS...just TIRED AS HELL of even seeing us. even on the periphery of their lives. but...they still want everything else pretty much the same-the cars, offices, jobs, clothes, etc, etc...normal middle class america minus WP.

    and thats what perry gives them; a space to just forget friggin W folks for 2 hrs...to imagine that Black Planet. maybe i'm off-base; ankh you say i am. but you can't deny his phenomenal success.

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  22. @ randy

    obviously, his main appeal is to xtians of color; but damn, there must be a LOT of church folks out there.

    Yes; there are. And because writes for them, markets to them, and puts on plays for them constantly, his success is unsurprising. He has a "cult" following, for lack of a better description, and anyone seeking a cult following is bound to be successful.

    (i loved in D of a M BW, how physical abuse of a helpless paralytic is apparantly perfectly ok w/christians...haha; but that jibes w/my observation that B culture is 'rougher' than is W culture in some ways.)

    That "helpless paralytic" had no problem beating on a woman. He was unfaithful to his wife and treated her like dirt. So when the audience watches him get his comeuppance, his actions are not forgotten.

    *raises eyebrow* I'm not surprised you forgot that part though.

    And so-called "black culture" isn't rougher than "white culture", sweetheart; that mantle is y'all's forever.

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  23. randy said...
    ",...haha; but that jibes w/my observation that B culture is 'rougher' than is W culture in some ways

    Typical white male response- why am I not surprised?
    Why is it white people can view a film like Godfather and Goodfellas and rate them as two of the best movies they’ve ever seen (body count about 73, between the Godfather franchise and Goodfellas, including a horse) but avoid Boyz N the Hood because they think its way too violent? Even though it had a fraction of the deaths?

    Almost every cowboy movie I’ve ever seen from, The Fastest Gun in The West, Shane to Tombstone had violence in it. Land Barrens, Indians and Outlaws fighting it out in an orgy of arrows and bullets. John Wayne wouldn’t be the iconic screen hero without that swagger and his propensity for violence. The very same white person who lauds movies like Saw- and Hostel will cringe at New Jack city.

    In white culture, masculinity is defined through violence. The body count for Commando (starring Arnold Schwarzenegger) was at least 99 people dead. But I guess its ok as long as it’s the white man doling out the violence. Not to be outdone, Quentin Tarantino came close to garnering an NC-17 rating for Grindhouse, with its graphic depictions of violence and gore. Then you have House of 1000 Corpses, the Hellraiser franchise and too many more to count. Not to mention the sick and twisted violence perpetrated against women in pornography starring white actors. Only white males seem capable of mixing sex- blood and violence together, much to the delight of young white teens. Then you have the gall to wonder why white kids shoot their parents?

    Maybe its because whites are convinced their neighbors would never do what they see whites do in the movies, but a black guy holding them up on the street is a real possibility. Even though we hear of white males raping, dismembering women- holding girls in basement bunkers as sex slaves; they’re more likely to fear the black male then one of their own. So hypocritical. Maybe Randy needs to visit ‘White Watch’ and reacquaint himself with a good dose of reality.

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  24. Aiyo said...
    The whole white kids save the day ish is so played out. I mean Harry Potter, Twilight, Percy jackson, and Airbender. Come on.

    Not just with film, but even in televised media such as the Syfy channel. You can count the number of black people on your hands for any given week. I'm not just talking about repeated broadcasts, but new- made for TV movies as well. We're just not that important in the white narrative. There is little room for black heroes in the white mind. Shoshana Johnson knows that better than most.

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  25. @ M. Gibson

    *bows to the master*

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  26. Ankhesen Mié said...
    @ M. Gibson

    Oh mercy...
    I consider you my teacher....
    And I mean that..

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  27. M. Gibson,

    I also noticed that some animated comedies created by white people use blood, gore, and Lord knows what else to convey humor. Take a look at Family Guy, Robot Chicken, or just about any cartoon on Adult Swim.

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  28. Blaque Ink said...
    I also noticed that some animated comedies created by white people use blood, gore, and Lord knows what else to convey humor. Take a look at Family Guy, Robot Chicken, or just about any cartoon on Adult Swim.

    I have, and thanks for bringing it up. Blood, gore- necrophilia, talking fecal matter - incest, just to name a few. Comedy in the hands of white males knows no bounds. For some reason whites feel as though they have to take everything to the extremes; every "sacred cow" is fair game if they can get a laugh from it.

    We’ve come a long way since Milton Berle - Red Skelton and Jackie Gleason. No off-color humor was needed back then and these men made me laugh till I cried. Today, white male humor is at its worst. In one teen movie a white male masturbates with an apple pie. Saturday Night Live targets white males with its humor; hence the penis jokes. Again what’s up with the white male preoccupation with penis and penis size? White males invoke the C-word for penis as if it were the Elder Wand from the Harry Potter series.

    I remember one sketch in particular on SNL having to do with the Mike Tyson Trial. The boxer was asked to present his penis to the court as exhibit A. When the actor unzipped his fly all you heard was this loud Thud!!! Supposedly the sound of his member hitting the floor. I don’t even know how that got past the censors because it was clearly racist. All of the white cast members were looking at the phallus with their mouths open as if it were the Holy Grail.

    This preoccupation with demons- death- blood and sexual gore is bewildering. Moreover, when you think about it; every subject considered taboo in popular media has been shattered by whites. Every type of debauchery or deviancy since the invention of the camera has a white person in it. I just don’t know how they can play the 'Purity Card' when it takes very little provocation to reduce them to licentiousness.

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  29. well, i'm in accord w/you re the debased and debauched, nihilistic character of a lot of W
    'humor'. further; its often not even very funny-just stoopid.

    as for the mike tyson thing; yeah...thats something i've noticed about W sports fans; an icky sort of hero-worship of black athletes, and a semi-hidden, creepy homoerotic interest in their bodies and sex lives...which has also in it some anger and envy, i think.

    but tarantino is the same way. ever notice the veiled hostility to B men in his films? its weird-a lot of backhanded 'compliments' and suchlike.

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  30. randy said...
    but tarantino is the same way. ever notice the veiled hostility to B men in his films? its weird-a lot of backhanded 'compliments' and suchlike.

    You may have already touched upon it. If Tarantino is angry then it’s because he’s envious as well. Just look at the image at the top of this thread. Historically, white males have envied the unbridled masculinity of the black male since slavery. As the black man stood on the auction block, potential buyers examined his teeth- his genitals-- extolling his anatomical virtues as if he were a Thoroughbred racehorse.

    Jack Johnson was both envied and reviled by white men. Despised for his Unforgivable Blackness and his refusal to toe the color line. Yet Envied, for his exceptional ability in the ring. For if the 'Heavyweight Championship of the World' was the means by which white men defined their own masculinity (and the superiority of the white race) then Jack Johnson (and every other black man) would embody their worst fears.

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  31. M. Gibson said...
    "Only white males seem capable of mixing sex- blood and violence together, much to the delight of young white teens. Then you have the gall to wonder why white kids shoot their parents?"

    Didn't take long for those words to bear fruit did it. Just look at this: "14-Year-Old S.C. Boy Killed His Father, Aunt, Critically Wounded Grandmother, Say Police..."

    Seriously, I don't know of any black folk who buy their children guns for their birthday. "And he was such a nice boy too," some will say. "We're all shocked," said others. I wonder what was it this time; having to do chores? Or not being able to play his video games.

    You white people raise your children like Little Adults- then when they do 'Adult Things' you have the nerve to express shock over the behavior?

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  32. @ M. Gibson

    According to WSPA, police describe the young man's tone as "calm, collected and methodical" when he called. ~ source

    In other words, a sociopath.

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  33. Ankhesen Mié said...
    According to WSPA, police describe the young man's tone as "calm, collected and methodical" when he called.

    That's the thing that sent chills up my spine. He wasn't crying hysterically, (as one would expect from a child) nor did he show any hint of Empathy or Remorse. This monster got 'close and personal’, shooting each 'Family Member' in the head. Now that’s Cold-Blooded.

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