Djimon Hounsou, Please Don't Play "Thulsa Doom"
|He should be playing Osiris,|
or Ra, or Horus, or Anubis,
for pygmy's sake.
It has come to my attention that in the upcoming remake of Conan the Barbarian (which doesn't need remaking, thank you very much), Mr. Hounsou here has agreed to play the role originated by James Earl Jones: Thulsa friggin' Doom.
I'm not down with that, and before people start in on me, I'm not interested in hearing the usual, "He has a right to blah blah blah." Not everything that's legalized is automatically a good thing. Fuck, cigarettes are legal. Y'all remember the times when the law was kosher with slavery and killin' Native Americans?
But I digress...black villains were a big issue when I was still a tiny person, and no, we haven't reached a point in American society where we can have a safe revival. POC have been getting dealt one raw deal after the other in Hollywack this last decade and I'm not trying see us do a goddamn time warp to an age when that ish was even worse.
This move is going to suck. Reboots and remakes and retellings have not been received with thundering applause these days, if you feel me. A lack of imagination and ambitious innovation has infested every corner and crack of Hollywack. Not to mention the laziness; talentless, overly muscled men and random white bimbos filling up the screen (all touted as attractive when more than often, they're not) amidst a sea of CGI do not a good movie make.
We need new shit. For example, I'm glad people have taken an interest in Star Trek again, but the original was the worst choice to reboot. One blogger from England described the whole white-boy-saving-the-galaxy storyline as outdated. And that's exactly what some of these classics are - outdated. This isn't to put down the immeasurable wealth of ideas which came before, and whatever social constraints writers were under during their various time periods. This is to simply state that we're not under those constraints now, and along with our technological developments, we should be creating all new wondrous worlds and storylines, not rehashing old stuff and give it a shiny face lift.
Furthermore, some of these films/TV shows really don't need to be remade. They just don't; when they are, modern filmmakers mooch off the accomplishments of filmmaking giants who came before. Take Buffy, for example...I really didn't dig Sarah Michelle Gellar all that much, but for fuck's sake...that show does not need a damn reboot. You want to bring back the 'verse? Fine: give us a new Slayer.
Give us a new Star Trek crew, while you're at it; be creative and make them all Klingons. Let's see what day to day life is like in the Empire.
Bring some African epics to life; let Djimon Hounsou play a god, as he damn well should (know what I'm sayin'? *smacks lips*). Let N'Bushe Wright play a queen or goddess, as she damn well should. Fuck...cast these two together. Or show us the Chinese sailors who shipwrecked off the coast of East Africa, took Kenyan wives, and then blended their language culture with that of the Kenyans.
Give us some new shit already. And while you're at it, don't cast my main man here as Thulsa friggin' Doom!!!