White girls, go Buffyverse...not Bella Swan

Originally, I wanted to crop out
SMG, but this pic merely
proves a point.
Just watched Eclipse with the infamous lil sis.

Let me quit bullshittin' - we just watched the fight scenes and fast-forwarded through the rest of the "plot."  However, I did catch the end in which Bella says something about being stronger and "lasting" or some such in the vampire world.

Um...how?  The only thing Bella's good at is being protected.  She doesn't do shitOther people fight, sometimes over her, no less.  Other people get killed.  All for this average-looking, self-absorbed hussy who can't.do.shit.

"Bella" as a message to white girls is this: you need to be defended.  You shouldn't have to fight your own battles.  In a world of vamps and werewolves where you find yourself outgunned, don't bother learning martial arts or magic.  Your boyfriend will always protect you.  And so will that manly, wild-yet-noble-savage POC who lusts after you in vain.  After all, you'd rather be with the icky pasty guy who lives off the blood of others, and who offers you a "life" where you don't have to do anything pointless and inconvenient like become educated, get a job, pay some bills, and live in the real world.

And everything will always be all about you, no matter how average and boring you look, and no matter how empty you are as a person.  Everybody is always going to like you, embrace you as one of their own, and be willing to die for your miserable ass.

"My dead mother hits
harder than that!"
*retch*  Eclipse has managed the impossible.  Along with Eliza Dushku and Bianca Lawson, I'm now suddenly missing - *shudder* - Sarah Michelle Gellar.  I never thought it would happen.  I never thought I'd see the day.  There were times when I watched BtVS and sorely wished Buffy would take a stake and plunge it into her forehead...right above that nose of hers which always reminded me of a penis.

Buffy whined.  Buffy whined like that ish was on sale and going fast.  Lawd hammercy, did she whine.  But while she was whining, ladies,  she got shit done.

BtVS was successful because it balanced the real world with the mystical world by letting them mirror each other.  The main point?  Life is hard - deal with it.  That's what grown folks do.  When they're strapped for cash, they take a shit job if they have to.  When attacked by some creature of the night, whether you're a Slayer or not, go down swingin'.  That's what grown folks do.  Life is hard, the world is merciless, and the universe isn't going to make any exceptions for you.

Damn...is anyone else suddenly missing Xena?  Or is that a different post for a different day?


  1. That's how I've always felt about this insipid Twilight nonsense!! It's just a morbidly bad female example for millions of young gals to be absorbing... but you're right, it's a completely perfect example of a white woman's text. I would say I can't believe a woman wrote it, but it was a spoiled white woman, and, judging by her aptitude for prose, "wrote" is a pretty generous verb.

    You so consistently rock!

  2. You shuld listen to Renee of Womanist Musings podcast of True Blood and Vampire Diaries on Blog Talk Radio. Where she and Tami from What Tami said and Paul discuss this genre or supernatural urban lit.

    twiglight's Bella, true blood's Sookie and vampires diaries' Elena follow the same trope. Average whiney, boring yet everyone loves her and all are fighting for her or over her. Even when the heroine tries to be brave it's stupid bravery and someone has to save her yet again. Same goes for the Anita Blake series of books

    So annoying! I like BTVS even though Buffy did whine she did get shit done she was the slayer. Angel's mopy arse wasn't saving her every damn episode.I loved Kendra and Faith wished Kendra wasn't killed off.

    Oh btw in vampire diaries Bianca Lawson makes a cameo as the Black with Bonnie's ancestor. She was a "hand maid" to a white vampire that look exactly like Bonnie's best friend. We all know she was a slave stop trying to call a duck an goose!!!

    You know what else is funny all those characters were written by women, except Buffy who was written by Joss Whedon self described feminist.

    Any ways here is the show
    The Blog talk radio shows
    Vampires in Mystic Falls

    Talking True Blood at Merlottes

  3. Damn...is anyone else suddenly missing Xena?

    *raises hand*

  4. I LOVE xena. HATE twilight. Before it even got so popular, someone gave me the book and I couldn't get passed the first chapter after I was suddenly crippled by a raging cliche: her name. BELLA SWAN. you know...there's this show called the whitest kids you know. How about the whitest and most meaningless names you know. I suppose her name was just a sick foreshadowing of how empty and pointless of a character she would be.

  5. @ RVCBard


    Edward and Bella's love story, just like Romeo and Juliet's, is a horrible example of a healthy relationship. Here's why:

    1. He isolates her from all her friends and family.
    He becomes her entire life. To be fair, it's not all his fault. If there ever was a girl in need of a hobby or outside interest it's Bella.

    2. He is especially rude and jealous of her male friends.
    One of the first signs of an abusive relationship is to attempt to control a partner's friendships with the opposite sex.

    3. He watches her (sometimes while she's sleeping.)
    He always knows where she's at and what she's doing. That's creepy. And not right.

    4. He leaves her "for her own good."
    Then he does his best to hurt her feelings. That's not a good man.

    5. She turns self-destructive when he leaves.
    Being an adrenaline junky is one thing, getting on the back of a strange man's motorcycle at a bar is another.

    Excellent analysis. I've been trying to repress all memory of the first film, and totally skipped out on the second, only watched the third for the fight scenes. So I didn't realize all of this.

    GOD...do I miss Xena. Fuck...I'm about to launch into a Buffy marathon, like, right the hell now.

    It shall help me cleanse.

  6. @ Aiyo - Sookie annoys the crap out of me too. Has anyone else noticed how she needs to have all these men being into her, in spite of being with Bill? Don't believe me? Look how fast her face fell when Alcide said he was there because of his father and not to save her.

    I only watch the series for two characters - Lafayette and now Jessica.

  7. @leoprincess:

    I watch it for Pam, Lafayette, Jessica, and (somewhat) Tara. But that show loves to put poor Tara on the rack - again and again and again. Can we say pain porn?

  8. But that show loves to put poor Tara on the rack - again and again and again. Can we say pain porn?

    Hence my strict abstinence.

  9. @K:

    C'mon. You know somebody's busting a nut all over the TV screen every time something fucked up happens to Tara.

  10. I was done when I saw those sparkly assed vampires. DONE I tell you!

  11. @RCVbard

    LOVE Lafayette. I like Tara too.

    Only thing I can say about Sooki is that at least she has powers, she just needs to actually learn to use them now.

    O conveniently blocked the bad parts out and made my own story for me to read it. I seriously mind blocked ALL the bad stuff out, like the sparkles. My friend had to remind me about that, while making fun of it, because I did not remember.

    Her: Sparkle in the Sunlight?

    Me:... I blocked that shit out.

    Her: LOL! From this conversation you blocked out most of all the books.

  12. Wow. You hit the nail on it's head! I read one of the Twilight books and watched the first movie and it was the most boring thing I have ever seen. I told someone once that the saga is popular because it plays into the fantasies of mediocre, middle class(white) teen girls. Common, on which planet are hunky men fighting over average white women? Well maybe that's not a good question because people do fight over average white women on this planet, but you get my point. It feeds into the narcissism they have.

    "I'm a princess(despite my lack of personality, skills, and exceptional beauty) and veryone else must bow down"

    LMAO, ok sweetie...

  13. Speaking of Twilight, I'm gonna leave these riiiiiiiiight here:



    And yes girl Xena is missed like Whoa!!!!!!

  14. What I hate is that a lot of parents are just letting their children absorbed all of this trife becasue all they hear is that oh they are not having sex and oh they are reading books.

    All people talk about is how a generation of teens are reading even though these books are are filled with bad messages but hey they are reading and not watching TV with is bad.

    Shit comes in many shapes and forms. Just coz the shit is on paper and not on LCD does not make it any less shitty

  15. Don't get me started on Twilight. Seriously. I have a special section for Twilight in my spitting section.

    So I won't go into the whole mess, I just want to say I didn't get the fact Bella was white. I mean, I did, I just had no idea the whiny stereotype is about white girls only. Are you saying non-white girls don't see this "princess" behavior as an imperative? It's good to hear. I guess I always assumed the stereotype is universal.

    One thing to note here is that the book was written by a conservative housewife who is, if not openly misogynistic, not really into teaching young women to be strong.

    (A shameless plug: 25 things I learned reading Twilight)


  16. @ Mira - Number 25 is universally applicable, I'm afraid. *sigh*

    @ Neo-Prodigy - I've never read the Twilight books (I tried sitting through the first movie many, many times, but I failed in every attempt), but I've been seeing pretty much everything you've said on many other blogs and comments across the internet. So many people couldn't have misunderstood the series.

  17. @Mira:

    Are you saying non-white girls don't see this "princess" behavior as an imperative?

    Nope. Black women don't get to be princesses. Anything resembling sensitivity, innocence, or purity is not assumed to be part of our repertoire.

  18. Mira, I loved your list! I have neither watched nor read Twilight, only talked with other women who either love it or abhor it. The Bechdel Test, among other criteria, has ensured that I won't see most movies.


    I got suckered into watching The Princess and the Frog (I've avoided it this long), and I cringed the entire way through. I learned that BW become princesses through "hard work" and WW only need to kiss frogs to get there. But no matter what your race, being a regular woman is simply not good enough. You should WANT to become a princess. We should all aim for finding true love... not meeting our career goals or following dreams. The love of a man is much more important than feeling accomplished and successful. Since the portrayal of voodoo in the film is entirely off topic, I'll shut up here and find your P&tF original thread.

  19. Heh. And meh. If a character makes you miss Buffy, then oh boy...

    But it's been well-established by now that Bella Swan is the grand *Queen* of the freakin' Mary Sues, and she is teh Ultimate Sue to end them all etc. There's been a lot of recent complaints about *blegh* Sookeh! from TB, who is often offered up as some kind of alternative antidote to Bella's pathetic presence. But I'd argue that Sookie is just more of the same, albeit in a slightly different guise. No, Sookie is not going to 'learn' how to use her powers because then she'd actually have to DO something and learning is an act.

    They don't have to 'do'. They merely have to "be". *eyeroll* The uselessness and inertia IS the point of these characters. That's what it means to be inherently precious and to never have

    It was Tami on Racialicious who drew an apt comparison of Sookie to none other than Scarlett O'Hara.

    I ran with it and used it as a tipping point to write about precisely why you could never get a black Scarlett, Sookie, Bella or Season 2 Rose in Dr. Who. Those roles are racially coded, are constructed around race and are also predicated upon excluding what blackness supposedly represents. (The ol' binary etc.) The uselessness, the ignorance, and the supposed right to exist and to never have to do anything or be for anything other than oneself is central rather than incidental to that particular construction of white female identity.

    I grew up reading a lot of "fucked up books" (TM belledame22 "Fucked Up Books of My Childhood") ranging from Sweet Valley High", V.C Andrews, J.M. Auel and Mills and Boon so Bella was really nothing new or particularly exasperating to me. (Guess I'm that numb by now.)

  20. Y'all know about the Mormonism, right?
    Meyer isn't just a conservative housewife, she's a conservative Mormon housewife. Also, she's white. Like, suuuper white. Mormon white. And so: all of the ickiness about Twilight.* All of the fucked-up themes— Bella's sickening passivity/inexplicable appeal; the random appropriation of the Quileute; the weird pseudo-chastity shit; the insane focus on whiteness to the point of sparkling, wtf; etc., etc.— spring from the potent combo of those two things.

    The Mormon thing has been pretty well parsed and confirmed; if you're not familiar, you could check the Google, but seriously? Just set aside an hour and go directly to this unbelievably hilarious LJ, which explains it for the uninitiated (IIRC, the author is a lapsed Mormon) in full, side-splitting, detail. I've yet to see a better breakdown. (And I'm pretty sure that LJ blew the lid on the whole thing in the first place, so.)

    As for her whiteness... well. Nobody but us chickens seems to notice how that's contributed to the enormous creepy multifail that is Twilight. Go fig.

    *Well, except its disturbing popularity; I don't know WTF that's about. Particularly with the adults. Jeebus.


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