Contemplating "Ancient Aliens"

How does this fail? Let me count the ways.

First of all, if the - and I use this term loosely - "History" Channel is going to keep running shit like this, then it needs to change its goddamn name already.  Secondly, kids, riddle me this: How come when POC were running the world, they needed extraterrestrial help to do it, but when white people are wrecking the world, these aliens are conveniently nowhere to be found?  Not even a phone call to check up on us or a card on our birthday....

Let's be real.  The members of the oldest civilizations are people of color.  The oldest kingdoms, the very earliest history, the beginning of our species as we know it belong to the those of the darkest skin.  It was they who built pyramids and empires around them, studied and contemplated the nature of the universe, while naming the stars, tracking the winds and rains, and mapping the varying shades and shaping of the earth.  Yes, people of color did this...all by their lone wolf lonesome, painful as some WP might find it.

The desperation to downplay the achievements of POC across space and time is now officially hilarious.  It has become so ridiculous we can officially laugh it off.

Now I have to pause and wonder how POC will remember white people after they're gone, which is coming a lot sooner than most white folks care to admit (they're currently 12% of the species, and that's slated to drop to 9% in 50 years.  At a 6% decrease per century, how much longer do you think they'll be around?).  How will our descendants write about them?  Will they mention them at all?  Will they incorporate white folks into their superstitions?

What credit will our descendants give to those who denied credit to anyone but themselves?

**Update**Ohhhh Lawd...the lil sis and I are watching the "Angels and Aliens" segment of this shit, in which the myth is that humans were populated by people from the stars who landed in the Middle East, "thus beginning of what we know to be our time", and thereby completely - conveniently - removing the pesky "all life started in Africa" portion of the equation.  Since there's absolutely no evidence whatsoever of human civilization beginning in Europe, they decided to go with the next lightest-skinned, most Caucasian-looking option available.

The stench of desperation has just reached an all-time low.


  1. I'm laughing right beside you, K.

    The fact that there are more White people who believe Elvis is still alive and that aliens built the pyramids is just fucking hilarious than there are White people who believe that Black people were advanced enough to sail to pre-Columbian America is fucking hilarious.

  2. I always wondered why no one speculates that aliens had a hand in Greek and Roman civilizations, yet other advanced societies had such 'celestial help'. Hmmm.

  3. Druids: All hail the extraterrestrial ones! We implore ye to assist in the building of Stonehenge! Behold the massive rocks!

    Aliens: Um...yeah...we're gonna sit that one out.

  4. Indeed.

    I'll just leave this here:

  5. OF COURSE aliens had to help POC. I mean almost every single culture on the planet has recognizable monoliths. Then you have Stonehenge. A big pile of crumbling rocks. So if that's what THEY did with no help, then OBVIOUSLY POC (who have the lowest IQ's on the planet according to the genetic recessive) HAD to have had help since we ALL know that genetic recessives are inherently superior. Aliens is the only logic deduction/induction. Dur.
    Easter Island? The Nordics.
    Egypt? The Pleidians.
    South America? The Grays.
    India? The Reptilians.

    *snarky assed laugh*

  6. I have actually heard aliens blamed for stonehenge, but I think that's the only time these convenient aliens have done anything for white civilisations. As leoprincess said, none of the impressive stuff the greeks and romans did gets handwaved with magic aliens - possibly because greek and roman culture has a way bigger impact on modern white people than druids? We have all these nice attributions with this or that greek (usually greek, I think, but pretty much always white) guy "inventing" some branch of mathematics that made x y or z possible. It would be embarrasing to think those nutty mayans and egyptians could do things like calculate angles and lines of force without the nice white people to invent that stuff for them.

  7. @ Sunatic

    Awesome link. Did you notice how in Alien vs. Predator, the "First Civilization" was made up of skinny blond white people with blue eyes?

  8. @ Ankhesen Mie,

    Oh come now, we ALL know the first civilization they were referring to on Alien Vs. Predator was Atlantis. And EVERYBODY knows Atlantis was so high civilized, it couldn't have been ANYthing other than white. Nevermind the fact that blond hair and blue eyes are a genetic recessive trait that has it's start in dominant genes. Science Schmience!

    Which leads me to this question.
    If the "Nordics" and "Pleidians" are blond haired and blue eyed space aliens, who in their home world did they have to kill off/subjugate to become dominant...yet remain genetically recessive? Apparently the aliens have Lebensborn science down to the T.

  9. lol, I'm sorry but this crap right here..this right HERE!? This makes me so pissed yet makes me laugh at the absolute arrogance of "some" people. Like when "they" tell me how pretty I am, then follow it up with, "So what are you mixed with?"

    SO annoying. Have to take credit for everything and when they can't it's "supernatural", "unexplained", "mysterious" or "alien"! PUH-LEASE!
    *side eye so extreme only the whites of my peepers are showing*

  10. The lil sis pointed something out to me. Whites find history to be such a "mystery". On the "History" Channel, the segments end with a "maybe" vibe.

    POC don't find history to be a "mystery." If you go digging with the intent of finding the truth - whatever it may be - then you have far greater success actually solving questions rooted in ancient myth and folklore.

  11. "Now I have to pause and wonder how POC will remember white people after they're gone, which is coming a lot sooner than most white folks care to admit (they're currently 12% of the species, and that's slated to drop to 9% in 50 years. At a 6% decrease per century, how much longer do you think they'll be around?). How will our descendants write about them? Will they mention them at all? Will they incorporate white folks into their superstitions?"

    Here's what may happen:

    They will mention white folks but only when they point out their conquering, dysfunctional nature, and They will refer to that white domination period as the White Plague. They will say that whites had help from the devil to create a world so ingeniously that they even altered human minds in their favor. They will try to link satanic practices to their imperialistic conquest, slavery, racism, oppression, rape, etc. etc.

    Though, this is just a thought.

  12. One other thing...

    The people of the future may create a myth:

    Long ago, people who lacked melanin never had much of anything. They fussed, feuded, and destroyed each other for eons until they were in worst shape then they were before.

    Then, they noticed and saw other civilations of people of color and wanted the same living in greatness. So, numerous rituals were performed to summon God to help them. After years of trying, God appeared from the ground up. He had the same white skin as they with long blonde hair and deep blue eyes.

    The people who lacked melanin told God about their state of despair, and God told them that if they want to be on top of the world, they must create a world where they are the "real" people, and others are outsiders for a greater good. To do that, they must first give their souls to worship him. Only then would they learn how to reform the world in their image.

    Without hesitation, the people accept, and they were then taught the ways of how to dominate the world in such intricate detail. God mentioned that the world needs to be reformed because there were too many non-believers who oppose Him. God annointed the people without melanin as the crusaders to refrom the world into a better place. He proclaimed them as the masters of all people who deserve to rule the world. This helped the people feel great about themselves as they prepared for the mission to change the world.

    Years later, they began their destructive conquest of the world not knowing that the god they summoned was the devil in disguise.

    And the rest is HISstory.

  13. yikes! i know white folks will not be so ill-remembered...considering you all are communicating in a language developed by europeans...and using computers the existence of which depends largely on the work of whites...dependant upon a power and comm grid also made possible mostly by us WP.

    we will still be here 100 years, 1000, 10,000 years from now, if we so choose; if people like myself take steps to ensure that we of european/celtic/caucasian heritage and culture continue to survive and to thrive. this is our right; just as it's the right of every other race.

    and anyway...

    would you really want a world w/out jangly downtuned guitar bands?

    ...or chicken fried steak?...or khaki pants and checked flannel shirts?

  14. Knowing WP luck they will probably get to be studied like the endangered species they are and they will be protected. After all POCS have always afforded all people a certain level of respect that WP never have.

  15. @ randy

    yikes! i know white folks will not be so ill-remembered

    It's highly likely you will be, and that's something white people - as a group - need to seriously consider amongst yourselves.

    considering you all are communicating in a language developed by europeans

    And forced upon others, along with bondage, religion, and death.

    dependant upon a power and comm grid also made possible mostly by us WP.

    Do your research, darlin'. And be logical about it. Inventions are interdependent, and don't forget the economy of this country was largely dependent upon the death and subjugation of POC.

    And I can't help but notice you're skipping over the most important fact of all - you exist because of US. Without us, you wouldn't be here to pat yourselves on your backs and scrape together every possible list of accomplishments to your name.

    But without you, whatever you discovered would've still been discovered anyway...without destroying the planet, and most likely superior quality, since our ancient ancestors accomplished things with stone that whites today with modern tech still count figure out.

    *blink* How's that for irony?

    we will still be here 100 years, 1000, 10,000 years from now, if we so choose; if people like myself take steps to ensure that we of european/celtic/caucasian heritage and culture continue to survive and to thrive. this is our right; just as it's the right of every other race.

    You're also more genetically recessive than any other race, and steadily decreasing at a rapid rate. 100 years, yes. 1000 years - highly unlikely.

    After all, white women prefer kids with curly dark hair and creamy mocha skin, remember? They're prouder of being moms to "biracial" babies than they ever were to being moms of white kids. Preserving European heritage doesn't sound "exotic" enough to them, and besides...those mean, pompous European men seem to prefer black women anyway.

  16. By the time white people get around to disappearing it won't matter because by then race won't be a blip on anyone's radar. We'll have long since shaken off our shared racial hallucination.

  17. @ Randy -

    Shut your mouth. As a bio-archaeologist, I can tell you first hand that White Europeans won't be remembered so kindly. Just this semester I finished up a research project that took a look at how racist thinking in the U.S. effected policy and social interactions, then I examined the downstream effects on stress, health & disease. I did this with BONES Randy, BONES. Skeletal remains last a long long time, and they don't lie. Your "people" kept U.S. minorities (especially the Africans & Indigenous) sick and impoverished on purpose through racialized policy (governmental & social). Archaeology will tell the truth, count on it.

    You have also further proved my point. You state that Whites developed computers & power grids, etc, etc. Sure, this may be the case, but they did it while EXCLUDING anyone darker than a paper bag. By keeping everyone else out, White men didn't prove anything about their supposed intellectual superiority, because they didn't compete against anyone else. You're not that special, not that talented, not that great; you are not gods among men.

    And no, you don't get to preserve your history & traditions. White Americans/Europeans killed off the Indigenous, along with their culture & history. They made sure that Africans in America would never know their true history; also at every turn, they stole the musical culture of Africans in America (jazz, funk, r&b, rock, hip hop) and tried to white wash it as their own. You've murdered all around the globe, but now you want to holler about "persevering history"? Goal post shifting much?

    P.S. Randy, the ancient Egyptians were Black. Jesus was too.

  18. Between Amistad and a Time To Kill, I have no doubt that there are some white folks out there who believe Matthew McConaughey singlehandedly ended slavery and Jim Crowe.

    So this bullshit right here ain't much of a stretch.

    And you know where I stand on aliens and humanity.

  19. Just in time for National Geographic to show this: it's on tonight at 10 eastern time. Or it's free to watch instantly on Netflix whenever.

    Funny the things historians search for as opposed to what scientists look for. 'Cause there is neither hide nor hair mentioned about aliens in the real world. This documentary explains melanin, eye shape, everything from each excursion made out of Africa to the groups that were formed from each of those excursions back then through the present day. Sorry to raise the veil on you like that, my alien-loving, white brothers and sisters. Let go of the foolishness and get your information from places outside of TV and Wikipedia.

    When it comes to how WP will be remembered by POC... the truth of our history paints an ugly enough picture on its own. I really don't care to preserve our big, collective, inflated white ego thinking of how to make us appear less villainous for future generations. Let it be a lesson, far as I'm concerned.

  20. I'd noticed the same thing: the aliens are being used to explain advanced non white civilizations. What will happen to the white supremacist mind set? The future of the illusion?

  21. This reminds me of a documentary on BBC "The Lost Kingdoms of Africa" it was really good. One thing that was repated each episode was that upon arrival the Europeans refused to belive that these so called savage darkies could ever be responsible for any type of buldings or sculptures, or trade.

    Every single episode mentioned this. I mean those nigger had to have had help from the Arabs, or fairies, unicorns, pixies or little green men and women with gigantic heads and eyes with skinny little bodies. Certainly not by themselves.

    Jealous much?

  22. @Alexander

    Ugh, THIS. Especially re: "preserving their history and traditions." Especially since it's the holiday season, I'm feeling less charitable than ever about white people's "traditions." They've deprived us of OUR OWN traditions for centuries, and now they have the gall to go on and on about their WHITE TRADITIONS that they "preserved" by FORCING us to assimilate. I'm so damn sick of those looks I get when I explain to a WP that no, I don't have a Christmas tree or lights and that I don't give a rat's ass about the "holiday spirit."

    Same with their other holidays. Yule, or Hannukkah, or St. Patty's Day, or Thanksgiving... it's all about preserving their WHITE HERITAGE and it disgusts me.

    WP already have their culture: destruction, enslavement, supremacy, theft, genocide, appropriation, etc. The least they can do is pretend to be ashamed about all of that.

    Sorry for going on a little bit of a tangent there, but the holidays just make me so angry.

  23. Between Amistad and a Time To Kill, I have no doubt that there are some white folks out there who believe Matthew McConaughey singlehandedly ended slavery and Jim Crowe.

    LOL! Mofo you owe me a new monitor!

    I'd noticed the same thing: the aliens are being used to explain advanced non white civilizations.

    The great scholar Uncle Ruckus knows that walnut-sized Negro brains are incapable of such feats of complex analytical thought - let alone engineering. Therefore Caucasian aliens are the only explanation for pyramids and shit.

  24. there's no question that SOME of the pharoahs were black. king tut surely was; one look at his gold funerary mask tells you that; those are unquestionably the features of a young black man.

    cleopatra black? doubtful...she was of greek ancestry.

    jesus? well, if you accept the Davidic roots of ras tafari...and YaHeShua was a 'son of david'...

  25. @ randy

    No sane scholar argues that after the Macedonian conquest, and the later Roman infestation, the last pharaohs were of mixed blood. But the majority of them, from the beginning right up until the later conquests, were black - all black.

    Last I checked, Jesus was not only a Jew, but King of thew Jews.

    That's between him and them, as far as I'm concerned.

  26. Yule, or Hannukkah, or St. Patty's Day, or Thanksgiving... it's all about preserving their WHITE HERITAGE and it disgusts me.

    Jesus was not only a Jew, but King of the Jews.

    Hrm. How do I say this?

    Can we not act like all Jews are Ashkenazi Jews? Or that we believe Jesus was any kind of royalty?


  27. @ RVCBard

    I was being sarcastic.

  28. The (white version of) History Channel produces this kind of drivel, and will continue to do so, because it gets ratings. Us white people like our history with a little panache. Who wants facts and reality when you can have a soap opera set in antiquity? I think we all know that history has no impact on the present anyway, so it's just like a nice story right? If we add in some aliens, some conspiracy theories, and some slights on other races its almost like watching a hollywood movie, but we can say we were watching the History Channel so people will be impressed.

    Which might explain our incredible inability to understand things like longstanding feuds between different ethnic groups or why the fact that this was a slave nation only about a century ago is still kind of a big deal. Or the consequences of our ancestors actions on the current social, political and economic climate. Heck, us white people don't even care about what is going on in the world RIGHT NOW unless it has an immediate and direct effect on us. Or we can donate money to it (as long as we can brag about it to our friends).

    "it's all about preserving their WHITE HERITAGE and it disgusts me."

    By white heritage do you mean overindulging, getting wasted, and saying/doing stupid crap? Because I'm fairly certain that is what most of us white people think is the point of most of our holidays. And yes, it is disgusting. As is the truth about much of white history.

  29. @ Randy -

    The last part of my post was a joke, a la Paul Mooney.
    Also, while craniofacial features can be indicative of ethnic ancestry, it's also important to remember that work done on ancient Nubian sites has also revealed that craniofacial features can change dramatically in a population (Carlson & Van Gerven 1977). Before Dennis & co. worked in Nubia, European scholars were trying to claim that Nubian's were "caucasian", but after analyzing 12,000 years of Nubian history and thousands of skulls, it was determined that they were indeed BLACK Africans.

    This sort of functional morphology really tossed a wrench in racial typology..which is another reason why genetics became so important to white scholars.

    Ditto & co-sign. American holidays are just another day off from school/work to me.

    @ Ankhesen Mie
    Sorry if my post seems a bit off topic, but as an archaeologist, stories about "ancient aliens" and the white washing of history bothers me to hell.

  30. Wow, randy! I knew you were a White supremacist douchebag from SWPD. And now you've just spewed your bile all over here. Anyone who wants to assist you in carrying on your genes is in severe need of therapy. Why don't you do us all a huge favor and go play on the Lake Shore Drive s-curve in rush hour traffic, huh?

    I was saying to The Man that the History Channel must have covered the history of everything and everybody and that's why there's all these shows on ghosts, conspiracy theories and alien bullshit. But yeah, I've been pointing out for years about how Whites always want to attribute PoC's ancient greatness to "aliens" (and they do that with the Mayans as well) while of course, they thought of civilization in toto all by themselves all at once on a breezy, spring afternoon.

  31. @ randy

    Compliments to Moi aside, if you have nothing to add about aliens, then perhaps you'll have better luck with vampires. Either way, you're done on this post, hence the deletion of your last comment...ironically in which you praised me for publishing more of your comments than Macon ever did.

  32. And those were fabulous compliments I had to delete, by the way. *sniff*

    Normally, I don't like anyone screwing with my name(s), but all those French and Spanish-like variations - preceded by the French and Spanish terms for "beautiful", mind you - were positively wondrous. I always like it when a man learns how to speak to Moi.

  33. @ neo-prodigy

    Baby...that was a good zinger, but, no boo-boo. I could not post that.

    *is dead*

  34. Lmao!!!! I completely understand. And to be honest it would be giving too much credit.

  35. Ankhesen:

    I noticed that too: that the ancient astronaut stuff assumes that white people do not need the help of aliens but other people do for some reason. Like, I never got why the ancient Peruvians needed any help creating the Nazca Lines.

  36. *laughs* Perhaps I need to get my mother to start reading this site. I have to say that for this thread at least, william wrote my favourite post or the post that totally corresponds to the way that I (and my mother) feel about the history channel. I've always thought that white-washed accounts of history reads like tacky, cheap white male soap opera so it's gratifying that someone else uses that description too!

    I hardly ever watch it, but when I do I honestly can't take any of it seriously, especially when so many people act like it's 'factual' rather than a lot of fantasy and myth-making. It often feels like white people spinning absurd, infantile self-glamourising fairytales that no sensible, self-respecting adult could actually believe; and that's when they're not outright 'speculating' a.k.a. making shit up.

    Or as my mother often complains - "S/he is just imagining what might have happened and then behaves as if this stuff they're imagining actually happened. This is madness." Cue: *exchange looks...start laughing*

  37. Speaking of aliens . . .

    If aliens were so goddamn interested in building POC civilizations, why is it that most of the people getting abducted and experimented on are White folks?

  38. Lmao, now that is a damn good question RVCBard!

  39. @ RVCBard

    If aliens were so goddamn interested in building POC civilizations, why is it that most of the people getting abducted and experimented on are White folks?

    Maybe they're trying to figure where shit went wrong.

  40. ***comment moderation***

    Tatum, this isn't an isolated incident and this isn't about aliens. This is about a TV series which has a nasty habit of attempting to rewrite human history, remove anything positive contributed by POC, and escape being branded racist in the process. So, no...I'm not being hyper-sensitive. I'm being real.

    Just as you don't care about where WP were when this was going down, I don't care one or the other about aliens. I'm just annoyed at how quickly white people jump onto this theory to appease their miserable inferiority complex.


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