*Shakin' My Head*

Some of you commenters are truly special people. Peep this, from an email to Moi:
"The whole backdrop to Thad's "women should go out and fuck freely and have fun" argument assumes that their prospective male sexual partners are any good in the sack. ...American men are mediocre at best. American men may TALK a lot of shit about how they're all freaks and want to have sex all the time and every whichway, but the reality is VERY different.

"...Mofos who fuck around don't give a SHIT about their partners. They're just out to get a nut. Especially men. That's why they slut-shame women who give them what they say they so desperately want without all the muss and fuss they claim to hate. Thad can spout all the theory he wants about that. Reality is something different entirely.

"...So, yeah, I don't blame women for going after men's wallets. The mutherfuckers can't stay faithful, treat women like things, are fuckin' emotional deserts and can't even fuck good. What else do they have to offer but their wallets? Let them mofos keep on whining about how evil and designing American women are. American men are becoming obsolete. This country is degenerating so that very soon, that golden American passport they think is so valuable and such a Third-world chick magnet won't be worth shit. Hell, even American women will be traveling overseas trying to hook a non-American man."

If you're wondering what set her off, take a gander at a guest post on Abagond which triggered a visceral "boys vs. women" argument from which I just had to remain distant...'cause it got ridiculous fast.

Young ladies...listen up closely.  If you're not out right now wasting your youth screwing everyone in sight...good for you.  You're not "missing out."  And before you start with the "I enjoy casual sex" mantra which we already know is bullshit, very quickly: define "enjoy" for me, would you?  Because I define enjoying sex as "mind-shattering O...every single time."  I don't accept excuses.  I'm not interested in the "it's been a long time for me/it's usually bigger than this/I've never had any complaints before/I had a headache this time" speech.

I need to find you intensely attractive before there's any gettin' nekkid.  So having a rocking body isn't going to do much for you...feel me?  So yes, I co-sign here, because guys, if we're not turned on, you better have some dough to compensate.  It helps to hold our attention...if only for a little while longer.


  1. I need to find you intensely attractive before there's any gettin' nekkid. So having a rocking body isn't going to do much for you.

    Thank you!

    So much of that "Ladies [well you young, hot, thin, nubile ones at least] get on out there and fuck everything" advice seems to assume that women are attracted at the drop of a hat like men, especially from purely visual stimuli. Men see what they think of as a hot chick and immediately want to bang her. Many women DO NOT work like that.

    For many of us, you got to have WAAAAAY more than good looks. And no I don't mean bank. Hell, you may not even need good looks. I know of many women who are not attracted to conventionally good-looking men. I'm one of them. That's because I've had nothing but negative experiences from arrogant, conventionally attractive men and have watched them routinely treat women like shit. After getting singed a few times and watching other women get plain BURNT, I not only decided to leave conventionally attractive men alone, but my actual PHYSICAL attraction to them has waned to zero. That's why Brad Pitt never did anything for me, but Brent Spiner gets my naughty imagination going like WHOAH!

  2. @ Witchsistah.

    Amen. Brent Spiner is tooooooo fine. Brad Pitt...not so much.

  3. Also, studies have shown, on average, it takes a woman a WHILE to get an "o" and usually penile penetration alone ain't gonna do it. So her casual sex partner has to be committed and patient enough to stay there and do WHATEVER it takes for HOWEVER long it takes for her at least to get hers.

    Bump dat, dude she picked up at the club just wants to get in, bust his nut, and get out. Unless he happened to get with a girl who is easily orgasmic, girlie more than likely will NOT get hers from said encounter. And it's rare that whatever dude does, without any discussion or input from the woman before or during, will be THEE thing that sets her off. That ish only occurs in movies and erotic tales. If you're (male or female) really interested in finding out what sets your partner off (male or female) you're going to have to take the time, however long that it, to find out what and apply that knowledge.

    Thad said that basically a man'll warm up to a woman AFTER sex. But a woman has to warm up to a man BEFORE sex. Part of that warming up is feeling secure with dude (at the least physically safe).

    I do agree that women(and men) should not be using sex to somehow guarantee a relationship. When it comes to human behavior, there ARE no guarantees. This is no 2+2=4 certainties. We can at best speak in trends, tendencies and probabilities, never in absolutes. So, I agree, there is no "If you withhold sex from him then he WILL respect and then love you" as if that is a law of physics. But neither is "If you put out when he wants, then he'll bond with you and love will grow from that" a concrete prediction. Plenty of women have done just that and then been labeled trash and sluts and spoken of and treated like garbage. In fact, these men USE the fact that she did put out "so easy" as an excuse to think, feel and behave this way. So much for that "men bond after sex" theory.

    That's why I said women should use their OWN discretion. This is not about some "Rules" ish of "if you don't put out till date number whatever or for the first x amount of weeks then he'll take you seriously, blah blah." This is about every woman being hyper-aware of how men wield the "slut" and "whore" labels against us, and their TREATMENT of us. Dude, constantly wanted to downplay and dismiss that basically calling women who keep this in mind cowards who are not exhibiting any "intestinal fortitude."

  4. Girl, that whole post about about letting MEN have all their fun utterly consequence free. I bet if a woman got pregnant then she's a conniving bitch who "got herself knocked up" to trap a dude. Fuggit HIS role in the whole thing (especially the question of "If he was serious about NOT knocking anyone up then condoms are now unlocked in Walgreens. And there's a Walgreens on every corner. And condoms are NOT expensive and easy to use."). Dudes should just be able to have their sexual fun and the hell with women's wants, needs, desires and fears.

  5. If you're not out right now wasting your youth screwing everyone in sight...good for you. You're not "missing out."

    Yeah, they are! They're missing out on boring, fumbling, quick-draw mofos who learned everything from porn (which is as far from how real women work as fish are from martians).

    I need to find you intensely attractive before there's any gettin' nekkid. So having a rocking body isn't going to do much for you


  6. I read the and was dumbfounded considering the blog host.

    Anyway, feminism; 1st, 2nd 3rd wave notwithstanding; has done nothing to change the fact that in general men are not negatively impacted when they engage in casual sex, while women who do the same can (and do)suffer significant adverse impact. Women still get called sluts and whores, but men, not so much.

    I blogged about an aspect of this subject in June and I won't rehash here, but women must start to observe and think critically about the choices they make regarding their sex life. There is still no cure for HIV/AIDS.


  7. I agree with everything said. From a male point of view, I feel men need to get into pleasing a woman's clitoris with their tongue instead of just hittin' the punnannee missing the G spot. IMHO + I've never been opposed to working under a Black woman.


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