Black Women, I Don't Get It

"Black women come from Africa. They have dark brown skin, thick lips, black woolly hair, high cheekbones, Egyptian almond-shaped eyes and a bottom that sticks out.

"Black women are the most beautiful women in the world. I know many will disagree with that, but to me it only seems like common sense: they are the only women who have a full figure, the body shape that a woman should have. Women from other parts of the world are beautiful too, but they are all missing one thing or other that black women have."
So writes the infamous Abagond on his 4-year-old post, whose hundreds of comments have strayed horribly - yet predictably - from the original topic.  Despite his little hiccup about our hair, I've just gotta commend the man.  While the topic derailing is present, I'm surprised the trolls weren't out in full force, exploiting even the tiniest loophole to keep from being deleted.

Of course, posts like these draw out the "thankful" in black women who feel insecure about their looks.  Um...we're black women.  A black man extolling our virtues is the natural-goddamn-order of things.  Don't get it twisted just because some of our brethren caught the 'phobe flu and strayed.  I mean, ladies, you've got to stop and ask yourselves - really ask yourselves: What the fuck do we have to be insecure about?  Whom the hell do we have to jealous of - Bethany Storro? *snort*

If you recall, Witchsistah wrote a powerful guest post which spurred on an intense discussion about black female insecurity.  Seriously, ladies...we as a group need to get over our insecurities.  I'm out on the blogosphere, surfing YouTube, seeing one brilliant black woman after the other and just not getting how we - as a group - still have "issues".  Before you drop the knee-jerk "media" response, remember that media has drastically evolved over the last two decades.  We may not be on network TV or many good films, but we're all over the nets.

So we can't be having "issues".  We need to be rid of our "issues".  Last I checked, we were the reason other women have "issues".  So black women, let's talk Fashion Tips.  How can we move past the insecurities?  And what can we do for ourselves and one another to expedite the process?

Notorious Lil S.I.S.
I'll start: natural hair.

Ladies, we gotta go natural.  And by natural, I don't automatically mean rocking a 'fro or buzzing it all to the quick.  I'm not saying we can't sport braids, Nubian twists, Senegalese twists (depicted right), or multicolored cornrows or such.  There's nothing wrong with adding synthetic hair to accentuate an African hairstyle; I mean, we've been doing that since Nefertiti's day.  I'm just saying the Asian weaves and toxic relaxers have got to go.

As I stated on Abagond's post, we don't need the hair other women have.  We've got hair nobody else has, and we need to pimp each and every last coil.  It's no coincidence that the hair products most widely marketed towards black women break the hair and the spirit at the same time.  Breaking women and people of color has been a favorite hobby of the West for quite a while now.

Moi...au natural.
I was raised in an African household; I've been natural for most of my life.  Problem was, when I was a child living alone with my father, he didn't know what to do with my hair.  All he knew was that he didn't want anyone fucking with it.  When I got older and started experimenting, my hair became such a huge, overpriced burden.  Hacking it all off last spring and starting over has been one of the best decisions of my whole life.  It became vastly simpler and cheaper to care for.  The scalp's begun to heal, the hair is strong, I turn even more heads (an inevitable side effect, to hear tell), and I can't stop toying with the coils.

Seriously, ladies...our hair is just too beautiful.  And it's ours...no one else's.  Why do you think people obsess over it so much, and have done so for centuries?  Our hair is one of those many unique gifts we got in the Beginning, and we need to be grateful for that.  If weaves and relaxers can break both hair and spirit, imagine what simply going natural can do?  I've never felt more beautiful in my entire life than I do right now.

You don't have to shave your head, you know.  That's for the hardcore womenfolk.  You can put your hair in braids until sufficient new growth comes in, and then have a stylist hack the rest (that's what the lil sis and I did).  After that, maintenance becomes ridiculously quick and easy.  The organic shampoos, conditioners, and hair milks of Bee Mine and the Califia Line at Komaza are staples in our household.  Needless to say, we should support black beauty suppliers; the money is better spent that way, and the products are more than worth it.

So that's my Fashion Tip: go natural.  What's yours?

Comments

  1. I love what you have to say on natural hair. I've been natural for almost 3 years now and cutting my relaxed ends was almost symbolic in terms of the changes I was making in my life.

    It's no coincidence that the hair products most widely marketed towards black women break the hair and the spirit at the same time.

    Thanks for saying this! It is amazing the way it is generally accepted that black hair can't grow long when that myth is seriously debunked by, not only locs, but looking at images of pre-colonial African women. Most of them had crazy long hair!

    I'd suggest that more black women need to travel, lol just so the world can see how fabulous black women are and also in order to gain valuable experiences through meeting amazing people and learning about other cultures. Kind of like 'Eat, Pray and Love' but without the excessive Orientalism.

    ReplyDelete
  2. This is beautiful. Indeed, black women have no reasons to be insecure, and other women don't have any right to thing they're superior in looks (or intelligence, but let's stick to looks).

    And it's ours...no one else's. Why do you think people obsess over it so much, and have done so for centuries?

    This.

    As much as white (and other non-black) fascination with black hair is disguising, I must make perfectly clear there's a ton of jealousy in it. (People know black hair is beautiful, regardless of texture and hairstyles). So it is sad to hear there are many black women no appreciating their hair and so many black women who feel forced (or who are forced) to give up their natural hair. (Not that I think black women must go natural- any black woman can do whatever she wants with her hair and nobody has any right to tell her what to do).

    ReplyDelete
  3. I love this, and I agree. I've met so many wonderful, wickedly smart Black women online and in real life...umm, we're kind of a big deal. :-)

    My Fashion Tip: Surround yourself with positive people. Sharing a skin color isn't a good reason to hang out with the brother who dogs Black women as romantic partners (yet views you as an "exception" in the friend zone) or the sister who isn't happy with her relationship prospects and doesn't want you to be either. You should never feel obligated to folks if that comes at the expense of your happiness.

    ReplyDelete
  4. (Not that I think black women must go natural- any black woman can do whatever she wants with her hair and nobody has any right to tell her what to do)

    True as that is, we have to discourage it anyway. Older generations of black people call hair-straightening and such "mutilation". I thought people like that were being overly dramatic, but they're right. The average non-black women doesn't understand the vast amount of horrendous damage relaxers do to both hair and the scalp, not to mention the mind.

    The day I went to get my hair cut, I reasoned I'd get a texturizer put in as well just in case. There was another woman there as well getting her hair done. She was getting a relaxer and it took all afternoon. There was the initial relaxing process, the neutralization, the multiple washes, rinses, and conditions, the dead-end cutting, and then on top of that, sitting under the dryer with rollers and then having the stylist go over her again with a flat iron. Meanwhile...I was done. The stylist hacked off the straight hair, applied the texturizer, rinsed it out (didn't do a damn thing, btw, for which I'm grateful), conditioned my hair, rubbed in some leave-in conditioner and Moroccan oil, and sent me on my merry way - all somewhere in the ballpark of $20. I shudder to think of what the other woman had to pay out.

    But as for me, my monthly "beauty budget" expanded, so I now can get monthly pedicures in addition to my gel nails and eyebrow waxes.

    @ eccentricyoruba & Jasmin

    Co-sign all the way. These are EXCELLENT Fashion Tips. They encourage black women to focus on themselves, broaden their horizons, and not shoulder other people's burdens. There's so much out there, and we all need to go see it.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Following Jasmin's suggestion, BW, we just gon' hafta VET the hell out of ANYONE we want to have close to us in our lives. I mean family too. You may not be able to "divorce" your family and you may not want to disown them or be estranged from them (though if you feel the situation warrants it, I definitely see that as a very viable choice), but you can distance yourself from their fukkery and restrict the amount of time you spend around them. For many BW, our families are our worst and biggest enemies.

    Watch out especially for the ethos that you should support aintshyt or deadbeat relatives. Those mofos'll deplete your resources faster than BP. Tell your mom you got a raise or promotion and then soon after, you'll get a relative wanting to borrow money from you. If you refuse, you'll get a call from your mom or Big Momma saying, "Well, they've been struggling for [x amount of time] and they got [x number of] kids. And you're doing so well. And you know they haven't had the same advantages and breaks as you (even if that ish is a bald-faced lie)..." I'm not saying never help out any friends and family. But don't to your own detriment. And we all have those family members that STAY in some trouble and drama and those who refuse to be fiscally responsible because they just mooch off of other family.

    ReplyDelete
  6. The average non-black women doesn't understand the vast amount of horrendous damage relaxers do to both hair and the scalp, not to mention the mind.

    Thanks for clarifying. :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. @ Witchsistah

    For many BW, our families are our worst and biggest enemies.

    ...Watch out especially for the ethos that you should support aintshyt or deadbeat relatives. Those mofos'll deplete your resources faster than BP.


    WORD. Just because they're family doesn't make them perfect or exempt. A lot of black families have "issues". The sooner we recognize them, the faster we can duck and roll...and to hell with the kinfolk who get mad.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Fabulous post.

    I am natural and I love it. When I decided to become natural it was one of the most normal things that I have ever done. I felt such a sense of fierceness and beauty that I have never felt before. When you begin loving all of the you that you're born to be... there is nothing like it. Can get in the shower and not freak out if I forgot to wrap up the do, honey please, you can't tell me nothin'!!!

    Fashion Tip: Take the time (however long it takes) to get to KNOW and LOVE yourself because there will always be outside forces trying define who you are. Make sure you're the one to do it!

    ReplyDelete
  9. @ Mira

    I'm not trying to shut you down or anything, but the hair issue is a huge issue in that straightening is awful for it, and yet money-hungry stylists and corporations keep making it out to be "the better option" if not the only option. There's not that much money to be made in natural hair, not like in weaves or relaxers which have to be done every 4-6, in addition to "treatments" which the stylists suggest in order to "help" with the damage they're causing.

    There's a reason why relaxers are nicknamed "hair crack" and weaves "an epidemic"; once women start, they feel they can't stop. They keep going back, spending ridiculous sums, and doing damage to their bodies all the while.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Check this out:

    http://jscms.jrn.columbia.edu/cns/2007-03-13/andrews-blackkiddiehaircare.html

    ReplyDelete
  11. well there is nothing wrong with being natural but i also think it's a choice what black women to their hair. i mean we all spend some kind of money to take care of our hair whether it's natural, relaxed or weaves. as long as you take it the right way then there is no problem. i love being different with my hair and like to try new things. there are days i straighten it and days i will go natural. i know you may want black women to go natural but i still feel what we do with our hair is all about a choice. that's what i believe in.

    ReplyDelete
  12. @ lil'vina

    You did read this, right?

    http://www.ankhesen-mie.net/2010/09/black-women-i-dont-get-it.html?showComment=1285430863310#c17541590514739964

    And this, right?

    http://www.ankhesen-mie.net/2010/09/black-women-i-dont-get-it.html?showComment=1285440004437#c7318834024330995207

    ReplyDelete
  13. I think as black women, we don't need tons of heavy makeup. It's saddening to see some of these women walking around with full foundation, blush, and all this stuff on their eyes. A little lip gloss is all I think we need. I maintain a skin regime and use a little bit of lip gloss.

    ReplyDelete
  14. @ Jade Star

    I think as black women, we don't need tons of heavy makeup...A little lip gloss is all I think we need. I maintain a skin regime and use a little bit of lip gloss.

    Amen. Neither the lil sis nor I am wearing makeup in these pics, except for a light smear of lip gloss on Moi.

    I drink tons of water, I avoid soda, I eat meat once in a while (too many hormones), and though people might not think too much of them, I use a lot of AMBI products. Their lotion is bomb, their facial cleansers are bomb, their facial moisturizer is bomb, and their stretch mark oil - whether you have stretch marks or not - does wonders for your overall skin.

    Eyebrows are also crucial to the face; I strongly recommend against shaving and drawing. I get mine waxed twice a month.

    ReplyDelete
  15. im one of those hardcore sistas that shaved my hair off the day i graduated from high school more than five years ago. I currently have beautiful locs that makes ppl of every race envious. The best part is that i rarely ever do anything to my hair. I have been natural for awhile now, and there is nothing (not one thing) that could try to get me to go back. My hair, that i do really nothing to, got so much attention when i was in Asia. From old women, men, young kids/teens, who just wanted to admire it or begged me to tell them how they could get their hair to look like that.
    When i was relaxed i rarely got complimented for my hair, and when i did, it was from other black folks admiring my fresh relaxer or new weave hairstyle. Since being natural, the compliments/admiration/envy i get from EVERY race every where i go is ridiculous. I mean it wouldn't stop..lol.

    God knew what he was doing when he made us, why do we actively try to ruin the beauty he created. Embrace your beauty ladies. Stop working hard to be second best, but the best.
    Seriously i can go on and on and on and on about this issue, but i wouldn't.

    Tip
    Eat right and exercise. I am a vegan (im not saying you should be one too) and in the last almost two years of being one, my skin is clearer, my body is healthier, i'm happier, and i have not been getting sick as much. Oh and by the way, I seriously Look Good.....lol
    For more info check out the film: Food Inc.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Is my comment lost?

    All I wanted to say: Thanks for the link and explanation, but you don't have to do this for me. This topic is a safe place for black women and I don't want to derail it into "educate a white girl on black hair" discussion.

    ReplyDelete
  17. did my comment go through?..im internet is a acting up.

    ReplyDelete
  18. I got you, Mira; I just wanted you to get all the info.

    Like Lil'Vina, for example. She also emphasizes choice. And that's fine, but we cannot neglect to say the whole thing: a black woman can choose to straighten her hair, but that doesn't automatically it's the best thing for the health of her head, her self-esteem, or the self-esteem of her daughters.

    Embrace your beauty ladies. Stop working hard to be second best, but the best.

    This is what I'm trying to say. I've met way too many non-black people who want our hair and try to do dreads and locs and twists like ours.

    Why try to be like people...who want to be like us?

    ReplyDelete
  19. This is what I'm trying to say. I've met way too many non-black people who want our hair and try to do dreads and locs and twists like ours.

    This is true. I like dreads. I never wore them, because I am against wearing someone's identity as fashion, but this is true: many non-whites envy black hair.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Just wanted to say, that style your sis is wearing is breathtaking!

    ReplyDelete
  21. @ Joanna

    I'll pass it on. She did them herself.

    ReplyDelete
  22. "Like Lil'Vina, for example. She also emphasizes choice. And that's fine, but we cannot neglect to say the whole thing: a black woman can choose to straighten her hair, but that doesn't automatically it's the best thing for the health of her head, her self-esteem, or the self-esteem of her daughters."

    I co-sign on this (and yes this comes from someone who straightens his hair).

    My fashion tip for my phenomenal beautiful black sisters?

    This is something I've learned to do for myself and I will testify that it's helped me a lot in feeling good about myself really being therapeutic.

    You know when you have those days when everything just falls into place. The stars are in alignment, you've got a rocking ensemble, your body is curving in all the right places, muscles are popping in all the right places, you're having a phenomenal hair day and you're just looking good. As in on a scale of 1-10, 10 being on point, you're hitting a 20. I've learned when you have days like those (hell even on days when you don't) take snapshots of yourself and do a photoshoot.

    All it takes a digital camera with a self-timer and tripod. You really don't need the tripod. Go outside in the natural light (that's where you get the best lighting and take pics).

    Basically act like you're a model from America's Next Top Model. Take different kinds of shots. Go in the backyard, go in the park, go in the parking lot, wherever. Take as many shots as possible. Don't worry if they don't come out right. A lot of them won't. Take as many shots until you get that money shot. Forget whose looking at ya. Don't worry about feeling self conscious. Haters gonna hate. Let them do their jobs. Keep posing, and keeping looking good.

    Once you're finished, play around with them in Photoshop or get a buddy who knows it to play with it for you.

    I taught a college course on it for two years so if anyone needs tips, hit me up.

    I'm telling you photoshoots do wonders for the soul. When I'm down, I can pull up at that pic of me looking a 20 and it lifts my spirits.

    So ladies, go out there and rock that shit.

    Oh and if you need advice or tips on doing photoshoots, hit me up.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Oh and K, you and your sister are gorgeous!!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  24. I never realized how damaging (and addictive) relaxing was until my cousin and I started living together. The hair that used to make it to the middle of her back looked like someone hacked at it with blunt scissors in the dark. The bathroom was littered with these fragments of hair, like little lightning bolts. She finally just chopped it up to the shortest part and still had the nerve to talk about relaxing it or dying it!

    It almost sounds funny 'cause we're talking about hair, but seriously - we had these conversations where I'm like "You need to stop relaxing your hair. Don't do it. Give it time." She was easily talked out of dying it because I kept pointing out ugly unnatural blonde hair on non-white women.

    In time the little lightning bolts turned into soft curls. A happy ending would be that she quit relaxing all together, because her hair is gorgeous when she wears it natural, but she relaxed it like twice in the year+ we lived together. I've stopped being an accomplice to it like I was when we were younger, though. Not gonna help you burn your hair off your head, sorry.

    I've met way too many non-black people who want our hair and try to do dreads and locs and twists like ours.

    Yup. And you have no idea - it's not just twists and locs we admire. It's how rich and luxurious it looks, the variations in textures, the fullness no matter what length. We even admire when it's shaved down.

    ReplyDelete
  25. I've been relaxer free for 3 years now. Everyone talks about choice but is it really a choice if you've been relaxed since childhood and you have no idea of how to maintain and style natural hair on an adult? It is just sad that there are so many adult black women out there who have no clue what their real hair looks like. Some of the horrible things I've heard black women say about the hair that grows out of their own head (or their daughter's head) sadden me. Really we need to get it together and take our power back.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Everyone talks about choice but is it really a choice if you've been relaxed since childhood and you have no idea of how to maintain and style natural hair on an adult?
    That's a really good point.

    Some of the horrible things I've heard black women say about the hair that grows out of their own head (or their daughter's head) sadden me. Really we need to get it together and take our power back.

    Exactly. We can blame media all we want, but at some point, the blame lands on us as well.

    ReplyDelete
  27. By the way, another trick to get that really soft hair is to wash it, lather on some conditioner, put on a plastic shower cap, and wrap your head in a towel preserve the natural heat your body gives off. After that, just go about your business for at least an hour, and then rinse the conditioner out. It does wonders.

    ReplyDelete
  28. You know what the problem is? Our brains are so white-washed that it gets us to think that everything should be done in a certain way. The white way. So, if your hair doesn't flow like the girls in commercials, or if you can't get this comb through your hair, you have bad hair.
    Switching from relaxed to natural made me realize that if our hair doesn't look the same, then it surely doesn't require the same treatments. You don't wash silk as you wash cotton. You don't take care of an orchid the same way you take care of a rose. It's as simple as that. Step back and see that the haircare regimen is not harder, just different. Too bad most people can't look at the big picture.

    I see our hair as a poppy in a wheatfield. It stands out, it's different, but it's beautiful nonetheless.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Oh by the way, I really like your latest posts on personal growth. Please keep it up, I really appreciate it, and I'm sure I'm not the only one dying for advice (wise, for once)on those matters.

    ReplyDelete
  30. By the way, another trick to get that really soft hair is to wash it, lather on some conditioner, put on a plastic shower cap, and wrap your head in a towel preserve the natural heat your body gives off. After that, just go about your business for at least an hour, and then rinse the conditioner out. It does wonders.


    Or you can just leave the conditioner in. That's what I do.

    ReplyDelete
  31. @ Witchsistah

    Even if it's not leave-in conditioner? What kind do you use?

    ReplyDelete
  32. You could also try mixing in some honey with conditioner for a deep conditioning treatment. Your hair stays softer longer after that.

    I will say that it took me years to get to a point where I could actually look at myself in a mirror and appreciate ALL OF ME. Not just my intelligence but all of everything the good and the bad and love it. It may sound arrogant but I dare someone to say some shit about me and think it'll do something. :). This self love was hard won and earned, it ain't going anywhere.

    ReplyDelete
  33. Sorry if this is the wrong place but I wanted to respond to you about henna. I purchase my henna from http://www.ayurnaturalbeauty.com/ . I've only used the Reshma henna and cassia powder. The most you'll get out of henna is a dark red, almost black cherry tint on your hair. I don't know if its possible to get it in purple but there is more information about it here http://www.mehandi.com/. I usually mix mine with hot water, and a little oil and thats it. I let it sit overnight or heat it up in the microwave if I don't feel up to pre-mixing the night before. I leave it in for about 2hrs and rinse it under the faucet in the tub.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Yup, even if it's not leave-in conditioner. I got the tip from the guy who did my hair for my wedding. I've been doing that ever since. My hair hasn't been this soft since I was a little kid.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Oh, pimp.

    Ladies, keep the tips coming! I'm getting an education here.

    ReplyDelete
  36. Shan on Abagond says:

    "I used to have long relaxed hair. I look back at some of my pics and the hair and my face don’t seem to match. Not in all the pics, but in some. Now I wear my hair thick, coily and it fits my features better. I have a heart shaped face, high cheekbones, asian looking eyes, thick lips and a round nose and thick, natural hair definitely fits my face better. God knew what he was doing when he made our hair."

    A thousand co-signs and counting!

    ReplyDelete
  37. I use Garnier Fructis Conditioner for Color Treated hair because I have my hair dyed (and am waaaay overdue for root treatment). I simply work it in after I wash it and leave it in. It usually gets rinsed out when I next shower anyway. It's been the best thing for my hair so far.

    ReplyDelete
  38. One of the most important tips I've learned, is knowing who I am. It is extremely important that Black people and Women in particular, learn as much as we can about the accomplishments of our people, not just in America, but everywhere.

    There is a reason why Malcolm, DuBois & Garvey were Pan-Africanists. They understood that we are part of a collective; a small part of a larger whole.

    Read, read and read some more. Knowledge is power! NO ONE can make you feel less than when you know who you are.

    ReplyDelete
  39. It's funny because I read this post the day after I had spent five hours putting twists in my hair in the small hours of the morning... (Yes, I am that slow and not at all gifted at 'dressing' hair, and I'm learning.) I started to post a comment, decided against it - but yeah. I want to say my piece too!

    The only time I've had a remotely positive experience with hair straightener was when I was 18, because it didn't actually 'straighten' my hair - it just loosened it and made it curly so all I had to do was wash and go and give it hot oil treatment every so often.

    But I've hated the effects every other time. The last time I chemically straightened my hair was in 2003 (when my mother talked me into it. Grrr...) for 6-7 years before that I had been growing my hair then cutting it all off when I got sick of managing it and occasionally putting in braided extensions because I was sick of being burnt. I even shaved my head at one point - and I have to say, that I like my hair at shorter and medium lengths and as I get older I know that eventually that is the way I want my hair to be.

    The straightened hair barely lasted a year with me and I got impatient at combing through two vastly different textures of hair and the stringy ends that broke so I cut it all off again.

    ReplyDelete
  40. (cont.) But I haven't cut it for years now, partly out of curiousity to see how much it will grow if I don't cut it all off - and it's survived a lot of neglect on my part but help from my partner.

    It's only three weeks ago that I started seriously doing some hair research and watching videos on Youtube. And two weeks ago I resolved to make a serious effort to look after it myself.

    But yeah - I do find it time consuming to care for - and it doesn't help that I live in NZ, a predominantly white country. Even though it has a rapidly growing Pacific Island population, many of whom have various types of curly, frizzy and afro hair.

    Afro-textured hair usually features as the 'before' shot, a comic joke, or is demonised as the hair that you *don't* want to have. The hair is at once visible (with people asking if the can 'touch' it; but in terms of the hair care market 'minority hair' is treated as an invisible or non-existent customer base.

    In terms of advertising, my type of hair is a punchline and is problematised - when it's not completely ignored.

    You can't just walk into a supermarket and buy shea butter, or coconut oil. (Both are expensive over here, have to be ordered on-line and are sold in tiny quantities.) You can't just get a wide-toothed comb. You have to search and search far and wide to get even the most basic tools.

    And leave-in conditioners are a brand new novelty that are marketed at white consumers. (They recommend that you use 'one or two drops' at night - hardly applicable or useful to afro hair.) But - hey. I'm going to do it anyway.

    ReplyDelete
  41. @Ankh: So glad you brought this up! I think we tend to forget that we're the only ones, literally the ONLY ones with this type of hair texture...
    I've been transitioning with kinky twists for about a year now, and I love seeing my fro get bigger every time I take them out! But I remember when I first considered going natural. My mother, and her mother tried their hardest to stop me, because I'm the female (on my mom's and dad's side) with the shortest hair. I got so fed up with them that I threatened to shave my head and start all over again. I kid you not, my mother told me "No, don't do it. If you shave your head, you won't have anything to distract people from your acne." I admit, my skin isn't all that great, but I have OTHER beautiful qualities!
    I say this to let my sistas know not to be surprised if you get a crazy amount of opposition from your family members. You have to remember that you have to do what YOU want, it's your life, not theirs. And if they're upset, hell, they'll get over it. and if not? they need to GTFO, and worry about their OWN hair health lol!

    ReplyDelete
  42. @Moonwalker:

    I shaved the shit out of my head just because I couldn't afford to keep putting stuff in it. And it was too fucking hot.

    ReplyDelete
  43. http://www.viceland.com/blogs/en/2010/07/23/pop-vox-whats-up-with-black-hair/

    it is sad how these women describe their hair^

    ReplyDelete
  44. http://www.tightlycurly.com/products/combingconditioners/

    this site has a pretty long list of conditioners that can be left in the hair

    ReplyDelete
  45. I'm so excited. Within 24 hours, my Moku Hair Butter, Komaza Shea Lotion, Bee Mine hair milk and moisturizing spritz arrived. *drool* My hair is about to be bomb...ier.

    ReplyDelete
  46. Btw - for any of you ordering from www.komazahaircare.com....my referral code is H6WYPKYN.

    ReplyDelete
  47. check this beautiful spoken word ladies:

    http://player.vimeo.com/video/15599791?portrait=0&color=ffffff%22

    ReplyDelete
  48. Afro-textured hair usually features as the 'before' shot, a comic joke, or is demonised as the hair that you *don't* want to have. The hair is at once visible (with people asking if the can 'touch' it; but in terms of the hair care market 'minority hair' is treated as an invisible or non-existent customer base.

    Thanks for bringing this up!!! I can't believe I missed this!

    ReplyDelete
  49. Just wanted to share a link from my local news people. It took a friend all the way in California to post it on FB for me to see it since I don't do TV much.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HugPZDEX8DY

    It seemed so foreign to me that she was talking to these 2 white apple-dumplin news anchors. But the endorsement from a doctor who treats and restores damaged hair/scalp that this stuff is way dangerous was important. I'm honestly surprised that our news even showed something like this. Anyway, it was moving the way this mother realized the inconsistent message she was sending her daughter through her own hair relaxing.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

This blog is strictly moderated. Everyone is now able to comment again, however, all Anonymous posts will be immediately deleted. Comments on posts more than 30 days old are generally dismissed, so try to stay current with the conversations.