Contemplating "Haan"


More about Haan.

Comments

  1. You rockin' some TenchiJK I see. I've seen this one and loved the inside scoop on RMD.

    I love me some Will Yun Lee

    Joel Silver has gotten the side eye from me for this stunt for the past decade.

    Haan is interesting. I think there are some good points w/respect to commiseration.

    However, folks would need to be very careful about bldng a relationship based on shared pain.

    It could turn into a toxic situation. You know how you have that one friend who is always bitching/angry?

    Every time they call, it's on some ole negativity. Then we feed into it in a low moment and the whole relationship becomes one Gigantic bitch-fest?

    Haan can fall into that territory and that's why my skepticism flag is flying. I understand the need to connect over similarities.

    I just can't imagine that Haan is all we share.

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  2. There's nothing to add.

    Rock on!!! *raises fist*

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  3. @ Lenoxave,

    I think it's a lot more complex than that.

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  4. @ Moi - I'm not dismissing it out right, just saying that this is my initial impression.

    This is obviously a serious matter and I'm sure TnechiJK will have more to say on the subject. I will definitely be listening and thinking more about it.

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  5. @Lenoxave - folks would need to be very careful about bldng a relationship based on shared pain.

    I understand your concerns; however, I'd like to think that everyone is approaching this issue realistically. It's a fact that the average person, despite the obvious ethnicity mixing, will choose people who are similar to themselves, people who share their ethnicity and cultural background. Shared ethnic pain should never be the driving force.

    When dating any man, the normal relationship rules apply unless an arranged marriage is on the horizon.

    Black women should be aware, too, that Asian men will also use us as trophies. They, too, could have ulterior motives. Beware of guys with fetishes or guys who have a disdain for women in their own culture.

    If any black woman is out there seeking an Asian man because she has disdain for black men, then she is opening up a very dangerous can of worms. Personally, I'm grateful that I'd only dated good black men; therefore, I wasn't disillusioned when my man finally arrived on the scene. In truth, until I met this guy, I had never once considered tying myself to any one man.

    In addition, if you're marrying outside your ethnicity please make certain you're getting a guy near the top of the food chain. Your status and that of your children will depend on how far he can go. I'm not saying be shallow. I'm only suggesting you be practical.

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  6. Okay...I'm not saying anyone's dismissing the notion of "haan", but I do think people are not getting its full complexity.

    It isn't being miserable. It's not being angry. It's more about deriving strength from one's cultural identity and history - taking the good with the bad...shame along with the pride, and the sorrow along with the sweet.

    One way to look at it is this: POC have shown the world what we can survive. For the past thousand years, we have shown the whole world what we can endure. Africans, indigenous Americans, and Asians have increased despite colonialism, enslavement, and genocide. The Jews have survived persecution and genocide for over 2,000 years, people!!!

    So the notion of haan may have its roots in misery, but misery is not its ultimate point. It's the lesson learned from the pain, and the strength derived from surviving the pain.

    We've shown what we can survive...and now the tide is turning.

    Over the next thousand years, what will white people - white Americans in particular - be able to survive?

    I'd like to think most of us are civilized and humane and would never exact all-out vengeance against them. But white Americans are a tiny, tiny global minority, and there are billions of people out there who are pissed off.

    So...will they be able to survive?

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  7. I wasn't trying to imply that you were Ankh. I merely used the word to describe how I viewed my comments @ the time.

    Point taken on what you and Hateya have to say about Haan and what it means for you both.

    I'm a pretty quick study, so I get where you are coming from about the affirmative nature of what it means and not just suffering.

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  8. Peace, Lenoxave - nothin' but love here.

    Tenchi does have a series about haan, but it's more personal. I wanted to keep the concept general for discussion.

    Btw, I loved his analysis of Romeo Must Die. I always love to listen to/read when Asian men pick films like that apart.

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  9. @ Ankh. Nothing but love here as well. You are one of my blog hero's. :-)

    TenchiJK is a smart cookie and I love his posts. He is one of the most candid cats on you tube & he's a cutie.

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  10. @ Lenoxave,

    Mm. *nods* The cute factor does indeed work in his favor. And if one is willing to look past the thug-speak, they will be awed by his insight.

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  11. @Lenoxave - Point taken on what you and Hateya have to say about Haan and what it means for you both.

    Good luck with gaining understanding.

    For me personally, my relationship with my husband began and is maintained on the cerebral level with lots of hot sex thrown in. ;)

    We originally wanted each other for cognitive reasons. There was also the matter of his hard muscular body and my big breasts, but I'd like to think that I wanted his vast knowledge of everything I could think of and he wanted my adaptable brain more. ;)

    I can't say whether or not we're good role models for the Blasian narrative because race is not an issue between us. Within this society, the only thing that matters is his rank and how much my shoes cost (this is how department store workers determine if you're worth the time of day).

    Are there racists here? Good gods, yes, but thanks to aforementioned conditions, I'm not the target. Furthermore, I'm not Chinese, Korean, Philippa or South East Asian. Honesty, I couldn't discuss Haan with TenchiJK due to a huge conflict of interest.

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  12. Honesty, I couldn't discuss Haan with TenchiJK due to a huge conflict of interest.

    Because Japan annexed Korean?

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  13. @Moi - Because Japan annexed Korean?

    Yes. As expected, things present a little differently on the Japanese side. Throw in the Rape of Nanjing, A-bombs, and the current Marine base debacle in Okinawa and things can get extremely ugly. My husband isn't the culprit, but he's the one who suffers when things get out of hand; therefore, part of being in this type of marriage is knowing where to tread. I don't have the luxury of only representing myself. By default, I represent the entire family. It's especially troublesome because my husband is the oldest son. I was once told directly by an irate party that as an American, regardless of my ethnicity and skin color, I don't get to pass judgment on them.

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  14. @ Hateya,

    *shakes head* I knew it.

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  15. I love tenchijk's vids he is so cute and funny

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  16. I was once told directly by an irate party that as an American, regardless of my ethnicity and skin color, I don't get to pass judgment on them.

    Riiiiiiight...because a woman with a black mother and Native American father is would be in nooooooo position to talk about slavery or colonialism.

    *cue eye roll*

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  17. Riiiiiiight...because a woman with a black mother and Native American father is would be in nooooooo position to talk about slavery or colonialism.

    Apparently, I'm also not in a position to discuss genocide with Jews (from Israel) either. WTF?! Those damned Spaniards killed off 90% of the Native Peoples without ever seeing them. That's why North and South America was "empty" when they "discovered" them.

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