Hey, Tea Party...Your Inner House Negro is Showing

Once upon a time, in a blog not so far away, a history lesson was delivered...like, twice.  Much later, a similar history less was delivered on another nearby blog.  Skip to present day, dear children, and you will find the descendants of some of those poor bastards haven't learned a goddamn thing (behold white-skinned house negro to the left - and don't bother mentioning the random POC who attend these Klan meetings; quite naturally, they are house negroes by default...you know, like the one on this drapto blog right here?  Notice how the drapto fuck parades this token ass mug as his "the Tea Klux Klan ain't racist" saving grace....).

Now, I get poor people.  I get disgruntled people with mortgages they can't pay and other bills they can't afford - I get them.  I'll even go so far as to say I understand why they may want to drink a little or smoke a little sumpin' sumpin' to forget their woes every now and again - I get them; I really do.

What I do not get, however, is voting for a man who's married to a pill-popping, charity-embezzling heiress, and who can't remember how many residences he owns...like your broke asses have anything remotely in common with those wealthy fucks.  And if that wasn't stupid enough, now there are these numbnuts falling in line behind Miss Single-Digit-IQ - friggin' Caribou Barbie* herself - two years later, and while they chant their chants, hoist theirs signs, and downright humiliate themselves for all the world to see, she is using their steadily growing infamy to get paid...you know, like she did with her own?

"Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it" - don't you just hate it when some dead philosopher accurately nails what's going on in the here and now?

No, seriously...aside for skintone, what do the Bushes, McCains, Palins, etc. have in common with the [white] common? Ole King George may have seemed like the kind of guy you could have a beer with but...you didn't.  You couldn't.  You can't.  They don't give a fuck about you.  You think Palin gives two shits if Tea Klux Klan members wind up in jail or end up getting shot by bodyguards during one of their little hair-pulling tantrums?  No.  You think McCain will shed a tear if some faceless, nameless Tea Klux Klan member loses their home or their job?  Uh...no.  Fuck, when he was running for President he refused to talk about the economy - remember that?

And do you really think Democratic politicians are actually shaking in their boots over flying bricks and anonymous phone calls?  House negro, please.  Fuck...the GOP and the Tea Klux Klan are handing them the next several elections on a porcelain platter, in a handwoven basket, complete with a box of Earl Grey - how's that for some irony, motherfuckers?

And this is what I mean about people fucking themselves in politics.  My conservative Republican, anti-Obamist gay boyfriend (that's right, kids, a mo) once rolled his eyes at me when I said Hillary Clinton fucked herself while running for president.  "Oh, yeah," he snorted sarcastically, "of course she did."

News flash, people: Obama didn't play the race card during the election - his opponents did it for him.  All he did was sit back and let white privilege do what always it does best - ultimately fuck whoever wields it...sometimes a hell of a lot sooner than later.  Clinton arrogantly invoked white privilege when she thought she knew POC better than POC, could talk about one however the hell she wanted, and was confident it wouldn't hurt our view of her (damn...that reminds me).  And white folks, I know a lot of you have some POC as buddies whom you think are very nice and agreeable folks because they never say anything "divisive".  They probably nod and tell you Clinton is a great woman, blah blah blah, mad respect, blah blah blah, would've been a good president - blah, blah, and blah.  Here, darlin'...let me translate: After shit like that, we will never look at her the same way again.  We never look at white people like that the same way again.

See, it's one thing to go from being openly racist to eventually learning the error of your ways - that route is actually encouraged in some circles.  But when you go from seeming like a decent human being to revealing the hidden, toxic rot beneath, you show us your "true" face and we remember its features forever.  You know how guys bitch about being put in a woman's "Friends" Corner?  Well, allow me to introduce you to the "White Friends" Corner...where all inhabitants are watched like hawks and permanently kept at arms' length (I myself have been known to amass a vast collection).

Anyhoo, the GOP quite predictably invoked white privilege in a similar matter.  They did so brazenly and shamelessly, repeatedly baring the "true" faces of many White Americans all across the country.  Surprise, suprise...they fucked themselves.

Now, people...does any of that footage remind you of anything?  Like...anything at all?  No seriously...anything Or are these glaringly connected events in modern American history still just meaningless, "isolated incidents" which, come tomorrow, you'll just shrug and say, "Eh, it never happened"?

The Tea Klux Klan is white working class.  Translation?  Poor.  Knowing American history, there's a good chance they've been poor for a while.  Now, their ancestors may not have owned slaves, but they still likely got to whip and occasionally rape them - a little gift from Massa to make them feel better about being poor and keep them from demanding anything.  They may not have been able to afford black help, but that didn't stop them from spitting on black folks and attending a lynching or two before dinner.  After all, which judge gave two shits if poor white people were killing poor black people?  I mean, hey...as long as it kept them all from demanding anything from his class!  Come to think of it, them poor white folks sure came in handy during that whole "Civil Rights" nonsense!

Broke-ass whites have blamed POC for their problems for waaaay too long, meanwhile constantly siding with elitist after inbred elitist - all because said elitist shared their skintone.  Your Palins, your McCains...they don't give a fuck about the poor now in 2010, nor did they back in 2008.  Hell, when McCain lost the election he probably just drove to one of his eleven properties where some servant pour him a drink, okay?  You know, some poor fuck whose name he probably never remembers.

He probably can't even tell you if they were white or not.

Those types...they don't give a fuck about the poor now or nor did they in any century before now, and yet year after year poor whites have stood by their sides, taking bullets for them in their wars to protect their property at home (slaves) or their foreign interests (oil), and these broke-ass whites have let themselves be assured over and over again that they're "real Americans".  So long as they keep to their place and don't demand anything more from their rich white brethren, of course (who actually run this country, by the way...not Obama).  And if they're good little minions, then they'll get to go on being "real Americans" and finally upgrade to the full perks and privileges...you know, eventually.

*cue broke-ass Confederate soldier turning in his grave*

Yo, Tea Party...your inner house negro is showing; you might wanna tuck that back.  'Cause some of you are actually right: POC aren't the real slaves anymore - that's your role to play now.   After all, you never left your double-wide servants' quarters on the plantation.  You saw it as your "home" and Massa as your "family", remember?  And since "Massa" ain't changed a day since his initial spawning...guess who's crackin' that mighty fine whip?

Heheheheheheheh...'cause it ain't us.  But feel free to keep telling yourselves it is; I'm sure there's some amusement we colored folk can ultimately glean from this.
* And to answer your question, my dear Mr. Damon, as to why people didn't talk more about Palin's blatantly obvious flaws...it's called "white privilege" - maybe you've heard of it?  See, you can have ZERO qualifications, a questionable education, be the penultimate Witless Wonder of Wasilla and still be President (or at least come very close to being President).  Oh... you don't believe me?  Of course you don't believe me.  Quick question: the name "George Bush" ring a bell?


  1. I always believed that the two most successful ponzi schemes in the world are A: the construct of race and B: the Republican's being able to convince poor white people to vote against their best interests. Absolutely incredible...

  2. Oooh...very well said.


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